I read it :) A good start, you have established characters and the time period, but it looks like you've written it more like a script set up? Was that what you intended? If you want to structure your story more like a novel, I would suggest joining a writers group or taking writing classes ^_^ I go to a local writing group in my town once a week. I learned how to structure my novel through English classes in high school and university, but you can learn any time. I didn't become full time author until I was older. All of the books I post on the Tapas, except for Under the Cover of Night have been professionally edited as well. Otherwise, it looks like you're growing a following and people are enjoying the story, so definitely congratulations ^_^