Miavel

You didn’t do anything wrong.

The words swirled around in my head without rest.

It’s fine, Mia.

I watched him walk around the room, checking the windows, the walls, the bathroom, the locks on the door. I tried not to flinch as the lock clicked into place. He pulled the shades closed and then stopped.

When he turned and looked at me, my brain stopped functioning. I couldn’t even think of words to say.

“I’ll sleep in the chair.”

That was it.

That was all he said.

I watched him silently for a moment, as he prepared the chair for sleep. I glanced at the giant bed. My gaze drew between the two. The giant bed that would fit five of me and the chair that would fit one of me curled up.

Somehow, the math didn’t make sense in my head.

He was going to sleep on the chair?

That chair?

“Why?”

The word was released from within before I could stop it. He turned and stared at me with wide eyes. He’d quite nearly settled himself into the chair already.

“Hm?”

Shut up, Mia. What are you even saying? Don't you know what you're saying and who you're asking that to?!

But my mouth was on a roll and my brain seemed to have started to malfunction the moment he told me I’d done nothing wrong.

Maybe it was the fuzzy warmth in my chest or the lack of tremors in my hands as I looked at him now. It could’ve been that I felt safe.

If he hadn’t touched me so far, enough to keep me from his room all day and night, and now with saying he would sleep in the chair…

Maybe, just maybe, my faith and trust in him was only growing. Maybe it was still fragile, like a piece of glass, but it was his name that was carved upon it carefully.

Maybe I was starting to see something behind the rumored monster.

Maybe...

He wasn't that monster at all.

What if he was as scared as I was?

Blamed for things despite doing nothing wrong.

Hurt and healing.

“Why can’t you just sleep on the bed?!”

Words escaped me freely, ignoring my own rising embarrassment.

“You’ll make me feel bad!” I climbed up onto the bed, unfolding the blanket on top of it. I only paused to say a bit more. “Just sleep on the bed like a normal person!”

I buried myself in shame silently. Shame for basically everything. I mean, I didn’t know if he had some kind of condition that didn’t let him sleep with someone, or if he just didn’t like proximity to people. And then I suggested he sleep on the bed with me, like I was guilt-tripping him or something by saying I’d feel bad! I mean, maybe I should’ve suggested I’d sleep in the chair instead? But I really didn’t want to! I knew how much my back would hurt if I did. Maybe I suggested he sleep on the bed because I’d figured his back would be pained tomorrow if he did?

Ugh!

I scrunched my face up as I hid under the blankets and regretted everything for a long moment in the silence until he spoke.

“Are you sure?”

“Just grab your own blanket. This one is mine,” I grumbled.

I stayed cured up tightly in a ball, squeezing my eyes shut, wincing at how agonizing it was to admit and say those things to him.

But then it happened.

There was a chuckle, a faint one, but a chuckle all the same.

All my senses seemed heightened as the mattress shifted under me. It creaked a bit as he sat down on the other side. I heard the rustling of something, and after some thought, I realized it was a different blanket getting unfolded. Mine remained untouched. They weren’t particularly soft noises, they were rougher, yet it made me smile.

Was it because he listened?

Was it him complying and grabbing the other blanket like I told him to, all while leaving mine alone?

Or was it just him, being near, like a guardian watching over me from beside me, keeping me safe?

My mind was hazy with sleep almost instantly. Though I couldn’t feel his body heat at all, I felt warm and cozy.

I almost wanted to say something to him.

About how sharing the bed could be nice.

What I said instead was a quiet good night. I smiled again when I heard a reply that was just as simple and quiet.

“Good night, Miavel.”

I woke to the sight of him standing near the window, gazing out through the curtains. I silently watched him for a moment, feeling a sense of ease and calm fill me. When he started to turn back my way, I sat up and looked away, somehow fearing being caught staring. When I glanced down at the other side of the bed, I noticed how the extra blanket wasn’t neat at all. I tried to hide the warmth the sight brought me and busied myself with getting ready to leave. There really wasn’t much to do. Practically nothing, since I hadn’t prepared to stay overnight. Cloak, shoes, bag.

As we walked to meet up with the Captain, I realized how strangely carried away I’d gotten yesterday. I never usually was the one wanting to stop or look at all the shops. In fact, most of my so-called shopping was very fast. And, not to mention, I came here on a mission. It was supposed to go as such: arrive, gather intel, leave. Shopping wasn’t really something I did leisurely. So, why did I have the urge to just wander and browse, even if I only ended up buying a few things?

I glanced at Talyn.

Was it… because I was with him?

But that, that didn’t really make any sense, right?

I sighed and decided to drop that train of thought. We arrived at the carriage, and contrary to what I’d expected, Talyn held a hand out to help me get in. Grateful, I took his help and climbed in. He said a couple more things to the Captain before he climbed in himself, sitting across from me again.

Biting my lip, I looked out the window as we left Lord Malin’s territory. Why was it that him sitting over there was making me upset?

I mean, I knew he’d grown on me a little, and my actions yesterday were… well, they happened, but it wasn’t like I wanted to be constantly with him. It wasn’t like I wanted him to sit next to me for the whole ride back, right?

That would be totally uncomfortable….

Right?

Imagining it nearly gave me goosebumps.

“How is it that you want to handle this?” he asked after a while, startling me.

“Hm?”

He met my gaze.

“You were the one who asked to come here. There’s obvious proof now to back up your claims. Since you were the one to notice, I’ll ask you.” His eyes flicked between both of mine, searching silently for a moment. “What do you want to do about this?”

I dropped my gaze as I thought over my plan I’d come up with yesterday. Nodding a bit to myself, I looked back up.

“Well, I – I think we should focus on the people’s needs first. Funds, food, and shelter, without alerting Lord Malin. I’ll compile an official report and budget, go through the proper channels and make sure the other applicants don’t have similar issues, and then…”

Just thinking of the next part of the plan, made me trail off. I played out one of the scenarios in my head quickly. Some part of me would really enjoy that moment.

“Then?”

When our gazes clashed this time, I saw a small change in his expression. Just like a small twitch. I didn’t try to decipher it.

“I’d like to confront him myself.”

“You?” Talyn’s eyebrows rose a bit, but his tone didn’t imply that I was incapable. He just seemed a little surprised.

“Yes. And then remove his title and ownership of land. Additional punishment for his crimes, as well. That is what I want to do. This is how I want to handle it.”

A rare smile showed up on his face. Despite how small it was, I was glad to see it.

“I see.”

And then silence as he looked out his window.

That’s it? Just an ‘I see’ and then nothing?

Did he simply ask because he wanted to hear someone’s opinion on what to do, or because he was going to think it over to see if he’d allow it?

I fidgeted in my seat for a moment before voicing the words circling in my mind.

“Will you allow it?” Keeping my gaze at my own window, I avoided looking his way. A part of me was still wary of him, of what people called him. A part of me was fearing that this was all an act he was putting on, that one day the mask would fall, and the resulting chaotic emotions would tear me apart... as much as the physical reality of my potential future happiness falling to pieces around me.

There was a huff, and when I gave in and peeked, I noticed the corner of his lips were turned up, as if he were trying to fight another smile.

“You don’t need my permission, Princess.”

Instead of a quick glance, I turned to look at him, glaring as hard as I could with my eyes. If they could shoot daggers, they would.

“Princess again? Really?” I asked, calling him out on it.

But instead of annoyance, there was a light chuckle. “Did you hear the rest of what I said?”

Something in my brain seemed to click. As a queen, was I not supposed to ask for his permission? Is that why he called me princess again? Was he – he was telling me I should do whatever I want, without asking him first?

I was just supposed to tell him how things were going to happen?

Or was I just overthinking it?

“Really,” I asked quietly, a bit unsure if he was attempting another joke or not. “I don’t have to ask?”

“No. You don’t, not for this.”

Not for this?

Then for what, exactly?

How was I supposed to equate this example to other things?

“Then,” I started, feeling peeved by his answers that lacked any kind of clarity. “I have to ask for other things?”

He glanced over at me. “Yes, depending on the thing.”

I narrowed my eyes at him for a moment. And I was somehow supposed to know what those were?

“What kinds of things are we talking about here?”

No matter how I asked it, I never once got a clear response. So, I decided I’d just do whatever I wanted, and if he asked me why I did something later, I’d tell him that he never told me specifically what I needed to ask for permission on. If he had a problem with that, then so be it, but it would be his own fault for not clarifying. If it meant my end, then I supposed I did whatever I wanted to before it happened?

I sighed as we reached the capital city. Looking as far as I could, I spotted the one place that already felt like home.

The palace.

And before long, we arrived, just as discreetly as we left.

I climbed up the steps of the back entrance with Talyn. We walked together all the way back to our rooms silently. But as I might’ve feared once, the quiet air between us was now quite comfortable. It seemed we both had plenty on our minds as we parted ways without many words.

As I took a bath to wash away yesterday, Lilia informed me that someone was set to arrive soon.

“Who?” I asked, confused. Who could be visiting me the second I got back? I guess it wasn’t like anyone had really known I’d left. Only the most important handful.

So, who could it be?

I nearly sent waves of water out of the tub when Lilia said the name of the person.

“Already?!”