After 103 chapters, I.. am ending Book One. I hope you don't see this as a cop-out, and by all means, read the post below. I've also submitted Integration into the Tapas writer's camp for the holiday season, so.. there's that. This isn't the end, I promise, but I also don't want a saccharine everything-works-out story. I don't think you'd want that either.
It wasn't my intent to leave you on such a cliffhanger, it's something I hate myself when reading. But characters are people, and have problems. And what's a decent story without some sort of problems between characters?
The offer below still stands, I am always, always open to ideas. You can always send me your ideas or critique on Twitter, here, my e-mail.
This is all new to me. Especially having people reading my writing. So I don't want to disappoint.
It's been a.. manic holiday. Even after the holidays are gone. I haven't stopped thinking about Integration, but I need a bit to guide it.
Now here's the thing. I planned all this, and I can plan more, I understand that it's a long damn read, it's a long stupid story.
So, what would you like to see? I can't guarantee it'll make it in, but you're my audience, so why not?
And if you don't want to share it here, PM me or.. DM me on twitter? How does social media work. You can e-mail me at drac@drac.org.
I have my ideas. I need time to outline them, but it won't be long, but I'd like to know what you.. aren't expecting, but what are your conspiracy theories?
Wow. That's a loaded question. If I weren't posting stories on here as well, I'd be tempted to just be like 'I just wanna read his story' and not say anything - but I know how terrified I get about the utter silence of my readers (at least, I think people are reading it).
That said, I also feel unprepared to answer this with anything that isn't too flippant. I mean, so far I love the mains' dynamic and so more situations where we really see them just reacting to each other are all good, but that's basically what you're giving us already.
I'm rambling. I will try to remember to come back to this question after letting it percolate a bit
the holidays are a hectic time, for you AND me, so i'm giving myself a little bit of leeway in terms of updates. i hope you have a happy holiday, it has been a pleasure writing for all of you, and i plan to continue that in 2019.
haha, sorry, just my own stupid mind posting stupid things here and ticking the 'subscriber' box. it's very nice having soundcloud to put some chapters to, but not every song is on soundcloud, or if they are, they may be pro, or not available. that was just something i'd been listening to the last few chapters while writing.
so.. i am going to be completely honest with you, since you have been with me.
90% of integration has been true to life. they say write what you know, so.. everything you have read about lan, that i have told you about him, are true, even the despicable parts. genders have been changed, names are different, but everything you have read about him i have done at one point. the family is the same, the people are the same, the situations are the same.
it's a shitty dichotomy, the way i live. i love writing, i do, and you all have made me realize that putting my story, or any story, out for anyone to read, and 44 people do! that's.. something worth living for. and.. i don't have a lot of reasons to these days. but i also realize that a) i write more when i'm drinking and b) i don't always remember what i wrote. which makes for a shitty story all around, for you, and for me.
there comes a point in an addict's life that they either die, or they choose to try again. and you all have given me a reason to try again, which i didn't have before. tomorrow, i'm going to check myself into a hospital, and clean myself up.
i have lost so, so much to alcohol in the past. and i may lose you. i would like to think i could finish the story sober, but i can't tell you that in all honesty. a friend, who no longer talks to me, would refer to me as drunk me, and sober me. they were very different people.
i may not be back for a while. it may be a week, or it may be a month or two. or it may be a few days, i don't know.
what i want you to know is that you, reading this, gave me a reason to live. your interest in my story is the reason i am still here. and it's the reason i'm taking this step. because you deserve a better person on my end of our conversation here.
so thank you. you mean the world to me. for every day over the last two months, you were the reason i woke up. the reason i write. so i'm going to try to be a better person because of it.
It might be too late for you to see this then. But know that I am glad. That is wonderful. Also know, I'll be here whenever you check in, or get back. I've been a comic hound for years (before there was a tapas) and I will be as long as there's a way to connect to the internet.
You take care of you, our author sharing this wonderful/terrible/intense story, and I'll be sure to be here, to read it whenever and however it happens. The story doesn't exist without the creator behind it. Even if you don't come back here, I'm glad to have known you, at least a little.
thank you, to both of you. i'm pulling myself up and going tomorrow. (there's always an "i'll do it tomorrow" for addicts - this was the want to see my sister before i go, which is tomorrow) so you get one more chapter out of me until then.