As far as stories go, this is really not one you should read if you are not already well-versed in the history of all parties involved. It would make almost no sense to a reader operating on the limited explanations offered by a confused, somewhat oblivious narrator who struggles to understand the information that she receives.

You should also avoid this tale if you expect a happy ending, a secure resolution, an easily distinguishable villain, or a selfless hero.

All the following characters are (mostly) human. Therefore, their actions are justifiable and reasonable within their own minds. No one is suffering from a significant mental illness that completely excuses his or her actions, and no one does anything that our narrator (and, for that matter, our author) wouldn't be inclined to do in the same situation.

And, as a last warning, I must admit that the following tale is just a verbose explanation of why our narrator, Gwyndolyn Dare, failed an English exam.

Considering that you are still taking the time to read about the Spring Break misadventures of the awkward Gwyndolyn Dare, I must provide some background information that will shed light on her situation.

Other than her statistically unlikely but still perfectly human blue eyes and her slightly above average intelligence, Gwyndolyn Dare was the typical teenage girl at Harris County High School. She lived in Shiloh, Georgia, a tiny Southern town without a Starbucks, a movie theatre, or even a gas station. She had lived in Shiloh since she was eight months old, and she had attended school with the same friends since kindergarten.

The only moment of her childhood worthy of my remarks occurred when Gwyndolyn was nine years old. Shortly after her ninth birthday, during a Girl Scouts trip to Goose Creek State Park in North Carolina, one of her troop members--Sloane O'Hara--was found dead. Although the investigation was ruled accidental, the entire troop still felt the weight of guilt.

And, although it would destroy Gwyndolyn to find this out, it was almost entirely her fault that Sloane O'Hara died.

But, I suppose we will get into all of that a little bit later.

That's all. Read on at the risk of thoroughly enjoying Gwyndolyn's unlucky tale.