White showed no inconvenience from this question and that made me relax a little – hopefully, this one won’t be as emotionally draining as servants given numbers instead of names. “The Red Queen was very intricate with her d-description- ah—” He motioned for me to wait as he pulled out an Ace of Hearts themed notebook from his pocket. It took a moment for him to flip through the little lined pages before he cleared his throat again.

“Rich b-butterscotch blonde hair with waves like the sea; soft c-c-cerulean eyes unde-underrneath the longest of eyelashes; a round and ge-gentle face so rosy and pale; ga-garbs of eggshell white and sky blue, worn and repaired in appearance; sh-short but not petite, appearing fuller than th-thinner; l-l-lips so p-plump an—“

“OKAY okay yeah okay” I reached forward, grabbing his little book with a face red from embarrassment “That sounds absolutely nothing like me”

“It sounds an a-awful lot like you, a-a-actually. E-especially w-with the gentle face a-and long eyelashes” He pointed to the words describing me as I crossed my arms with a pout. “I don’t have a gentle face. My face is the opposite of gentle – it’s rough”

White stared at me blankly “… Y-you have a very so-so-soft appearance”. I sneered – like he’s one to talk, Mr. Silk-furred fuzz-butt – rough edges can’t conceal the fact that he’s covered in padding. There was a pause before I decided to pick at the creepily accurate description more “And I am not short!”

Another short pause followed by a blunt response. “Yes, you a-are”

“We’re almost the same height!” I swung my arms open, almost backhanding White in the process. He ducked back with wide eyes before having to adjust his glasses “Ah- y-yes, but I a-am w-wider than you, to wh-which some would say makes m-m-me ap-ap-appear much b-bigger” My response was to cross my arms again, tightening them as I fumed; White tried to hide his amusement behind a pristine glove. I really didn’t like being described in such a… novelistic way. Those words made me feel so outed, in a way – like personal information about me was just ready and available for this so-called ‘Red Queen’. My knee bounced out of nerves as the tender adjectives flooded my mind. White seemed to think that I had calmed but no, I had more to complain about.

“Who even describes someone like that anyway?! Fucking butterscotch, and-and… cerulean…fucking… what the shit….” My mumbling turned to a sneer mockery of White’s accent “Short but not petite; appearing fuller than thinner- fuck you. Her royal majesty writes like a god damn prick. Sounds like a real handful if you ask me” White opened his mouth, but I had more “I mean I’ve never even met the woman and she’s writing about me like she’s writing a bloody love letter”

White waited a moment this time, watching to make sure I was done before responding “She is a very… a-articulate woman, her Majesty – o-o-or at least, she tr-tries to be. A-Although, w-whether you agree or not, w-who she has described is most certainly you.” I knew he was right, but I wanted to prove him wrong. Looking over the small book that was once in his large, shaky hands, I read over the dot-points, taking in every cursive word.

“….” My sigh dripped with sullen acceptance “You’re right. She’s got me tied up in a neat little overly detailed bow – right down to the—” I looked at the page again and cringed “Beautifully soft and rounded hips, and thick eyebrows knitted in a constant disenchanted glower”

“Those a-are the obvious ones, yes”

I gave White a disenchanted glower, which I can only assume through process of elimination means ‘disappointed glare’. With the way she writes, I feel like I’m going to need a thesaurus just to understand this royal pain in the ass. White responded to my sour face with an entertained smile, those buckteeth pushing past his lips, however, the smile disappeared quickly as soon as he noticed me looking, replaced with embarrassment. Even though it was a disturbing experience for me to have my entire appearance read out to me by a stranger in the words of another stranger, White’s sheer innocence made me feel just that little bit calmer. He had the kind of face that you couldn’t really get mad at despite the red eyes and sharp jaw.

“Okay, last question-” The rabbit waited in anticipation, probably expecting another prompt that could possibly annoy or upset me – and he wasn’t wrong to think that “… Am I going to be safe?”

It was a serious question, and my voice only thinly veiled the fear I had of the unknown journey in front of me. White saw this as a serious question as well, so he obviously went to give me a serious answer – however, when his ears drooped down like a lop-eared rabbit I couldn’t help but giggle. They just dropped right down like limp, fuzzy fabric, reaching his shoulders in length. The ear-owner didn’t seem to see what was so funny.

“W-w-what?” The poor thing looked so bewildered, like he didn’t know why I would ask such a question then just laugh. I shook my head. “A-Aha—it’s just, oh your ears, they just—” I made the motion of the drooping ears with my hands before straightening up again “Sorry- sorry that’s probably just a rabbit thing to do. Anyway, my safety”

With his ears twitching slightly, White’s pale cheeks burnt a rose red, his stutter worsening in the state of embarrassment that he seems to experience so often “Y-Y-Yes, th-that is a r-r-rabbit thing” He looked down, pulling at lint off his gloves “I-I do not know th-the details of wh-why you are needed, but I-I believe you w-will be safe. H-Her Majesty would n-not put someone s-s-so young in any d-danger”

I squinted suspiciously “So young? How old do you think I am?” He clammed up, looking as if I had asked him a confronting question. Once again, he glanced around, something - from what I have gathered – he does when he’s met with a question he doesn’t wish to answer. I found myself irritated that he was trying to dodge the question, so I softly shoved his notebook into his chest “Come on, White. Tell me.”

He was obviously afraid that his assumption was wrong, but I wanted to hear it. It took another shove before he finally budged “…. S-Sixteen…?”

My huff made him whimper, and he instantly knew that he was wrong. I pointed to myself as I spoke “I am an adult! I have a job- kind of- and I earn money!”

“F-From your parents?”

I huffed again with more emphasis “I—maybe, but that doesn’t matter. I am a legal adult- I vote!”

Calming down from the shame of guessing wrong, White looked as if he didn’t buy it. He looked me up and down for a second with those big, white eyebrows furrowed in a confused manner “But… y-you still have your puppy fat-”

“That is my regular fat!” I raised my voice for emphasis and gasped, more so offended by the lack of belief as opposed to the comment about my weight. He whimpered again at the confrontation, that leathery little nose twitching. The sight of that nose and those big eyes made me calm down. How could I possibly stay mad at such a face? Biting at my apparently ‘plump’ lip, I found myself disappointed at being considered so young.

“Is it the long socks? I know they’re a little childish, but the grass is really long here so I gotta protect my shins”

“It’s… everything. You a-a-are small and s-soft looking”

I was going to get annoyed, but then I figured that ‘small and soft looking’ would probably be a common way of describing someone else when you’re some kind of rabbit person. Rabbits are typically small and soft looking, after all.

“I’m 19, by the way” I sneered, answering the question that he technically never asked. White nodded slightly, speaking in his soft yet deep voice “So young.”

My three questions were up, so I balled up enough courage to stand up and approach the hole. I really had no idea what was beyond the dirt, and in hindsight, I probably should have asked more about it, but White has heard enough of my complaining and questions for now, and I had done enough procrastinating. What was the worst that could happen? If this doesn’t take me anywhere, I’d kind of just be standing in a hole, maybe get laughed at by White. Really, I don’t think I could even take offense to him laughing at me – he’s wearing twelve watches, after all. By now, it was high time to go down the burrow, but it seemed that I was doing too much standing and too little jumping. “W-We haven’t all day, Alice”

My head spun around with wide eyes when I heard that name, a mild sense of fear sparking in my heart “Wha—“ I was cut off mid-sentence by a large hand pushing the small of my back, and into the rabbit hole I fell.