Waking up after a time-altering nap always makes me feel a little drowsy, so when I saw someone watching me from behind a distant tree, I merely squinted and blinked. It’s not unusual for a family member to watch me sleep in the yard ever since the animals started roaming around, so I just dismissed it as dad or one of my aunts. However, usually, when I woke up they would come over and scold me for sleeping out in the open like an animal – this figure stayed put. This made me curious, and I leaned forward to take a closer look. This couldn’t be any of my family members, they were too pale. Living on a hard-working farm, everyone has developed a nice healthy tan – or at least, everyone except me and Lewis. I’m capable on tanning but fear skin cancer and he’s sun-sensitive; that makes us the only pale ones in the house, and the figure watching me from behind the pear tree was as white as a pearl. From such a distance, I wasn’t sure if the stranger could tell that I was looking at them, and I couldn’t see all that much - I needed a better look, and apparently, so did the figure. All I did was blink, and suddenly they were behind the apple tree closer to the oak I was under. Not only could they move faster than a blink, but they were watching me so intently I found myself at a loss for what to do. Sure, in school they warned us about stranger danger, but the education on the topic never really went further than that. We never got any tips or tricks on how to handle the situation, just a bunch of obvious shit like ‘don’t take candy from strangers’.

The two of us merely stared at each other for a while until the figure disappeared behind the thick trunk. This was my chance – if I can sneak up on a cow to tip it, I can sneak up on an intruder. Careful to not step on anything crunchy, I made my way to the tree and looked around for the stranger. Unaware of my presence was a man probably a little older than me anxiously checking each individual watch strapped up his arm. They all seemed to read different times if they read time at all, and he rolled down one sleeve to roll up the other, checking even more watches of alternating size and design. I leaned in for a closer look, but he caught my reflexion in the glass of a watch. To my surprise, he seemed mildly taken back by my sudden appearance. He seized up as a high pitched scream erupted from his unsuited body before the man managed to stumble to his feet, jumping to turn and look at me. Once again, we just kind of stared at each other, unblinking as we both took in the situation. Now, usually when we have trespassers, I call my dad to get the golf clubs, but just one look at this guy made me think I could take him. Sure, he was a little on the beefy side, and was a few inches taller than me, but he was also wearing a waistcoat and at least 12 watches. His glasses were thick, and his white gloves matched his pigment-less skin – I mean, the dude looked like he was in a high school book club. But most of all, he was wearing rabbit ears as if he was in some kind of costume. Clearly, I was dealing with a nerd at best and an anime nerd at worst. I could easily take him – well, unless he was the kind of nerd who had a lot of repressed hatred towards society and an inferiority complex, or one that uses big words. Both would kind of stump me.

As I mentally prepared myself to fight big bunny boy, he straightened up, fixing his tie with a shaky hand and a red face. It didn’t look like he was going to attack – instead, it appeared that he was going to introduce himself.

“H-H-Hello—H-Her R-Red majesty ha-has requested your—” He glanced down at a card in his hand before straightening back up into his formal pose “—your presence. U-Under royal orders, you-you must come with me.” Putting my prepared fists down, I blinked a few times.

“…….what?”

The man seemed embarrassed, looking back at his card. “Uh—Her R-Red majesty h-has requested your pr—“

“No don’t repeat yourself, put the card down” The albino appeared to be at a loss, as if he had only planned up to reading the card. His ears twitched as he would glance from me to his shoes. Inhaling deeply, I thought about how to deal with the strange situation.

“Okay. So – you have broken into my family’s property in order to take me to this Red Majesty? What does this definitely real person want with me? And why are you dressed like that?” he opened his mouth to respond, but I managed to think of new questions to berate him with “And why were you watching me instead of just approaching me like a normal god damn human being? Like, we have a front door; you just gotta knock and ask for me. It’s a perfectly common, legal thing to do when one is summoning a royally requested person”

The man looked at me as if to make sure that I was done, then kind of glanced around as if unsure how to respond.

“Ah, w-well… um… her majesty i-informed me that you-you have helped h-her kingdom before, b-b-but as a mere m-messenger boy, I am on a n-n-need to know basis; I-I-I am not sure what is wr-wrong with my attire; a-and I arrived in this y-yard, and then I-I-I found you. I-it would be somewhat c-c-counterproductive to go to t-the door when you were right there… I-I was watching you b-because I had to m-make sure you were the p-person I was looking for” His hands where so shaky as he counted on his fingers, making sure that he was answering ever question I had thrown at him.

Taking in the information, I continued to stare “… you seriously see nothing wrong with the outfit?” I wasn’t sure what was worse – the fact that he thought his little costume was fine, or that out of all that information, his denial of his costume was what stood out to me. Pulling at his red waistcoat, he looked down at the plaid pattern before glancing back at me with a worried look “I-I mean, I suppose it is not very fashionable—“

“No, no not that!” I shook my head as I cut him off before stepping forward and going to grab his rabbit ears “I mean the…se?” As I had gone to remove the accessory, he took a step back “Pl-Please do not touch m-my ears, th-they’re incredibly sensitive and such a f-f-firm grasp may n-negatively affect my h-hearing…” I paused “Are you trying to tell me that those are… real?”

“Ah, well, I u-understand as an O-Overworlder, this is a l-little strange, b-but yes, m-m-my ears are real...” I was frozen in position, hands up in front of my chest as I just kind of squinted. There was no way… was there?

“… Let me touch them” The man seemed flustered by my request “T-Touch them? Oh—O-Oh no I do not think I can…”

“Listen; let me feel your ears up. If they’re real, I’ll follow you. I’ll go on your weird little quest to this Rad Majesty or whatever and pray to every God that what she has in mind for me won’t end up with my untimely demise” Although I didn’t believe a single goddamn word he was saying, if he did turn out to have rabbit ears… well… what else am I going to do? It was a once in a lifetime opportunity, and by god, if animal people are real where he’s taking me then colour me curious.

Fiddling with the seam of his gloves, the rabbit looked as if he was in deep thought – his cheeks reddening as the seconds passed. “I-I-I—I s-suppose that… i-if you promise to c-come with me…. T-then it should b-be okay…”

Finding myself somewhat excited and scared, I carefully stepped closer to the man. Face to face, he wasn’t that much taller - just enough to have to glance down at me - and his facial hair matched in colour with the rest of his hair – and by colour, I do mean lack of. I wasn’t joking when I referred to him as an albino; he’s got the lot - red eyes and everything. He looked very nervous, and despite the fact that he was an intruder on my farm, I felt a little bad for touching what may or may not be a part of him when he quite clearly didn’t want me to. Reaching upwards, I wrapped my calloused hands around the white ears.

My thumb ran over the pink inside of the ear, feeling veins, and fine fur, and more importantly, warmth. If these ears were fake they certainly were detailed – furries invest a lot in their costumes, I suppose. “Bend over, you’re too high up” Dodging the phrase ‘tall’, I watched as the man obeyed my order. Grabbing an ear with both hands, I gently pulled once and a little less than gently another time, prompting a closed-mouth yelp from the bowing man. The ear didn’t budge, and I gulped. The concept of these ears being the real deal was becoming more and more likely, and I wasn’t entirely sure how to deal with it. Sliding the ear between my thumb and forefinger, I reached down to the base. There was no sign of it being removable, and as I slid my finger into the hole, whines of protest followed by the ear twitching to my touch made me pull my hands back. I glanced at the finger I was poked into his ear, spotting the amber substance; it was earwax. With a blank face, I wiped my hand on his white shirt – despite all the evidence piling up, I still refused to believe that those ears were real. At this point, there was only one thing left to do. Grabbing the ear, I leaned up and screamed into it before the poor man had a chance to pull away.

“oH GOD!” He raised his voice and pulled away, the assaulted ear twitching violently as he shook his head “T-That—uh… o-oh boy… that smarts…” A small tear appeared in the corner of his eye as his ear spasmed, and small tears formed in my eyes as I was forced to accept this reality. There was no way technology could make fake ears that realistic.

The loud clap of my hands startled him as much as my scream had, and as he covered those ears for his own protection, he looked up at me with confused and expecting eyes. I opened my mouth, standing there for a few seconds as I realised there was no other way around this.

“Alright then bunny boy, take me to your leader” That sure made those ears of his perk up.