As I lead Heidi’s mount on through the deepening shadows, the story of my past leaves me slowly, in broken sentences with long stretches of silence in between. She listens without a word, giving me time to collect myself, and reminisce at my own pace.

As a young man, though I was large and formidable, I was an academic at heart, a student of the law. My dream was to become a judge one day like my grandfather, and I studied hard to that end. Studied so hard I might not have even noticed her, if she’d not been so persistent in her affections.

Jael.

We married on the first day of spring. Indeed, she was like the spring to me. Vibrant and colorful and full of life. We were mad about each other, and in only a few months she was pregnant, expecting our first child.

I was anxious. I was so much larger than her; any baby I gave her was bound to be large, too. Each day I watched her body change and grow a little more, and each day fear would scratch like a persistent demon at the back of my mind.

What if the baby’s too big? What if something goes wrong in the delivery?

I tried not to think of it. To focus on my studies and prepare for my upcoming bar exam.

Then the next spring, my worst fears were realized. Jael went into labor, and the baby got stuck.

The midwife said it wasn’t my fault, that there was nothing that could have been done for either of them. But I blamed myself. If I hadn’t loved Jael, our son never would have been conceived. If she’d never known me, she might still be alive.

The day I laid them in the ground I lost my mind. I couldn’t go back to our little home in the city. I couldn’t stay there another minute.

So I ran. Like a madman, like a coward, I ran for days, far from that place, until at last I came to the mountains. By that time I was so exhausted, I really couldn’t think of anything but finding a drink of water and something to fill my stomach.

The simple need for survival outweighed everything else. And survival was difficult. It took up all of my time, all of my thoughts. When I threw myself into it, I became numb to everything else. I could forget.

So that’s what I did.

For thirteen years, I ran from that memory. And I’d still be running from it. If not for my Squirrel…

That night I put an exhausted Heidi to bed. I leave her to sleep and go to the stable to tend tanning chores with my usual methodical efficiency.

I’m not unsatisfied with this life, I think as I wring out the hides. Sure, I might have made one hell of a lawyer and one day even made judge. But my work now is no less honorable, I decide. No less fulfilling.

I can’t bring Jael and the baby back. The midwife said our son wasn’t too big—he was breech. And that was no one’s fault.

I’ve known this. I’m not sure why I couldn’t accept it until this moment. Not sure why I’ve spent so many years blaming myself…

This is my life now, I think as I come back outside to stare up at the stars. I’ve made a place for myself out here in the wild. And I’ve even found someone important to me.

Jael would not begrudge me this. She was a jealous woman, but she loved me first, and always wished for my happiness.

And I am happy now, I think. I’ve already been happy with my Squirrel for several months. We’ve gotten used to living together, to working side by side. And I’ve fallen in love with her. All we’re missing now, is…

Inside the cabin is dark. I stop at the door to unlace my boots and pad silently across the floor, finding my bed with a weary sigh. A moment later, I hear Heidi’s bed creak.

I feel my heartbeat quicken as I hear her soft footfall cross the floor. Then, without a sound, she climbs into the bed beside me.

I scoot against the wall to make room for her, and she follows my body. Attached as if by a magnet.

Hesitantly, very carefully and mindful of her injuries, my arms go around her, heart thrumming wildly in my throat. She clings to me, face buried in my shirt. I feel the silent wet of her tears.

I let her cry, just holding her close to me, gently stroking the back of her head. She has a lot of tears, I think an hour later. I guess she’s been storing them up for a long time.

At last her tears slow, but she does not fall asleep. After so long intertwined like this our bodies are hot and damp with sweat. Her hold on me changes, becomes less desperate and more… inviting. Slowly, she pushes herself up to kiss the side of my face.

I lie absolutely still, allowing this. She pulls away slightly in a silent question. I pull her back to me, lips finding hers in the dark. I kiss her deeply, surely, with all my heart. I want more, but I hold myself back, thinking of her injuries. When I pull away, she makes a pitiful, impatient, whiny sort of sound.

“Rand, please… I need you.”

“When you’ve healed,” I say, my voice deep and grainy. She goes very still beside me.

“When I’ve healed… promise me.”

I chuckle. Does she really imagine I’ll be able to keep my hands off of her the moment she’s better? This Squirrel has a lot to learn about her mountain man.

“You don’t have to worry about that.”

“Promise me you’ll be my lover,” she insists petulantly.

I sit up a little, tracing the side of her face in the dark. “Not your lover,” I say seriously. “I’ll be your husband, your real husband. And I’ll teach you the way a husband ought to treat his wife. Slowly, gently, patiently. Forever.”

A week later, when her back has healed, we ride into town, cart laden with furs and leather hide for trading. Everyone is shocked to hear me communicating with them using real words, and by the time we’ve finished our trading, I think half the town’s come out to witness the event.

The Squirrel helps me buy up supplies for the coming season, and I take her to buy a couple of dresses, though she insists she prefers to make them herself, and buys instead several more bolts of fabric in red, ocher and green.

On our way out of town we stop by the courthouse where Heidi gives a statement I feel sure will keep Philips behind bars for the rest of his life.

Sheriff Barret tells me Philips was a meticulous businessman who kept very careful receipts. Including a record of the price he paid Heidi’s father for the ownership of his daughter.

“He wanted her from the moment he saw her. She’s a good looking woman, after all. But he wasn’t kind or patient enough to woo her normally—I doubt he wanted a normal relationship to begin with. He wanted someone he could control and abuse, so he made her and the whole town believe she was his wife, and did what he wanted with her behind closed doors.”

“Then I right about the marriage certificate?”

“Spot on. Her signature was obviously forged. Heidi was never his wife; she was his slave.”

“He still in jail?”

“He made bail, of course. But he knows not to come near you. If he causes you any trouble, just send him back our way. I’d be more than happy to take him for a longer stay.”

To Heidi, he says, “The trial’s scheduled for June first; I’m sure we’ll get a conviction. I’m going to push for the judge to have reparations paid to you out of his estate, Miss.”

“I don’t want reparations. I just want to be left alone, and never have to hear his name spoken ever again.”

“You’ll still have to testify at his trial,” the sheriff points out.

“Fine,” she says coldly, and she steps a little closer to me. I shoot Barret a menacing glare, and he backs off for the time being.

Before we leave the courthouse, I stop at the county clerk’s office. He is a busy looking man and doesn’t appear too pleased to be interrupted, but one look at my menacing size changes his tone.

“We’d like a marriage certificate drawn up.”

“Just like that, eh? No ceremony, no wedding bells?”

“We don’t need something like that,” I say, glancing at Heidi, who nods, her face already transformed after her painful interview back to a bright and happy expression, much to my relief.

“Suit yourself…”

He works quickly, drawing up the document.

“There you are. I’ll just need your signatures here.”

I take up the pen and sign my name to the bottom of the document. Then I pass it to Heidi.

With great care and still somewhat large and wobbly letters, she signs her name under mine.

“There,” she says, tears in her eyes. “I’ve signed it with my own hand.”

“Yes, you have,” I ruffle her curly head with a giddy sort of feeling. “You clever Squirrel.”

“That’s it,” says the clerk. “You’re married. Now get out of my office.”

We step out into the late afternoon sun, both of us beaming. I have eyes only for my bride, and I stop on the bottom step of the courthouse to kiss her in spectacular fashion. That’s when I hear it.

The click of a pistol.

I have less than a second to pull the Squirrel out of the way before the bullet goes whizzing past.

It grazes my arm, leaving a trail of pain like fire. But I’m hardly aware of it.

Greg Philips stands just a few feet away, holding his single shot pistol out. His face that was red with rage at seeing us together now blanches white as a sheet as he realizes he missed.

Dozens of people run our way, screaming. Witnesses.

“He shot him! Greg Philips shot him!”

“N-no!” Philips cries. “I didn’t!”

“I saw it with my own eyes!”

“We all did!”

Stopping a moment to make sure the Squirrel is safe, I leave her on the courthouse step to swallow Philips in my shadow. He’s crying as he looks up at me, knees knocking in terror. A damp spot appears in his crotch as my hand descends to crush his hand together with the pistol. He screams.

Is he a fool? Blinded by jealousy? Or just his hatred of me? What did he really think he was going to accomplish with one little pistol? Did he think something like this would stop me?

Behind me, I hear the sheriff shouting at the top of the courthouse steps. Before he can get to us, I lean in to speak lowly against Philips’ ear.

“You’re a very lucky man. This is the second time witnesses have stopped me from exacting your punishment.”

He whines and begs me pitifully as my grip tightens on his hand, snapping his bones one by one in my merciless grip.

“It would not be so in the wild. Up there, there are no witnesses. No one could stop me from doing all I’ve imagined doing to you. With the bear trap, with the hatchet…”

I step away as the Sheriff closes in on us, dropping the other man’s hand. The pistol falls from his broken grip and clatters against the stone.

“Philips, you’ve just violated your conditions of release. I’m placing you under arrest.”

“Alright,” he gasps, practically falling into the sheriff’s arms to get away from me. “Alright, I’ll go.”

Leaving them, I return to Heidi’s side, and I’m relieved to see she’s more concerned about my bullet wound than she is upset at having to see that man again.

“Rand, your arm!”

“Don’t fuss, Squirrel.”

“But—”

“I’ve had worse scrapes on tree branches,” I assure her, and I scoop my bride into my arms.

“You—you great, wonderful brute,” she says with tears in her eyes, and she wraps her arms tightly around my neck to claim my lips in an adoring kiss. “You’re perfect,” she says, pressing her forehead to mine. “You’re absolutely perfect and I love you.”

“I love you,” I answer. “Now. Forever.”

“Oi, Mountain Man!” Barret shouts at us. “Don’t leave town. I need to take down your statement after Philips’ assassination attempt.”

“Another time, Sheriff,” I say, adjusting my wife’s weight in my arms.

“It’s our wedding night.”

-The End-