Speaking to Rogan gave me the encouragement I needed. However, it was weeks before I saw an opportunity to talk to him. I was ready when I slid into the seat opposite Rogan in the food court. He was typing something on his laptop and didn’t look up. I handed him a smoothie in a foam cup and asked pertly, “Do you like blueberry?”

He eyed me skeptically. “Who are you and why do you think I’m homeless?”

“Sorry, I must have made a mistake. I thought you were a university student.” I looked at him meaningfully, like all university students must be poor. “So you’re not homeless?”

He took the smoothie from me and popped open the lid. “There’s not some weird drug in here, is there?”

I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, I knew there was a reason I picked you. Look, I know you’re in my economics class and I wanted to ask you to be my partner on the next assignment. This is just my way of introducing myself. We were supposed to have our partners by the end of the day. I’m not slipping you the date rape drug or anything. I promise.”

“That’s good, because I have my whistle,” he said.

I laughed. None of the men carried rape whistles. It was a girl thing. “I just couldn’t remember anyone else in the class except you and when I saw you sitting here, I thought it was good luck,” I lied.

“Sorry,” he said before he took a strong drag on the straw. “I already have a partner. I got one before leaving class. You should have done that too.”

I smiled at him. He was trying to make it as hard as possible. I didn’t let it bother me. “Forget about the assignment,” I said coolly. “How about a dinner date?”

“And your name is?”

“Beth.”

He cocked an eyebrow. “Well, Beth, you’re not really my type.”

“Really? What’s your type?”

“Her,” he said, pointing at a girl on the couches with his smoothie straw.

I turned my head to get a better look. Oddly enough, I knew who she was. Socialite extraordinaire, she was a relative of Trinity’s. Her name was Felicity-Ann, but she always got called Felix, or Feline, or something like that. Her hair was blonde and long. Pricing her outfit at a thousand dollars, excluding her coat, would have been low-balling it. She hadn’t ditched her parents, so she didn’t count her pennies.

Felicity-Ann noticed our interest and shook off her friends to come over.

I rolled my eyes and sipped on my beverage. I really loathed her type, if only because Christian had always liked it.

“Rogan!” she exclaimed pleasantly as she placed a hand possessively on his shoulder. “I haven’t seen you in ages. Did you get your cell phone replaced?”

“Yeah, yesterday. I haven’t had time to renew all my contacts.”

“What took so long, anyway?” she pouted. “I’ve had so many things I’ve wanted to invite you to.”

He adjusted the glasses on his face. “You know me. It’s hard to find the time.”

She shrugged her beautiful shoulders. “But there’s a party tonight I want you to come to.”

“I’m sorry. I can’t,” he interrupted. “You really should try to schedule me in advance like this girl here. She was just trying to squeeze her way onto my schedule.”

I loved that man! Just sitting there listening to his ridiculous, condescending voice filled my heart with glee. That was just like Christian. The way he made it sound like both of us were a burden, and he was merely tolerating us because it amused him, was irresistible.

“Oh, Bethie, I didn’t see you there,” Felicity-Ann said snobbishly. Of course, she had seen me. We’d known each other since Trinity and I moved to Edmonton. She was just trying to lower my stock in front of Rogan.

I smiled at her like we were best friends. Never badmouth another girl in front of a man. It only makes you look bad and makes the other girl look more desirable. Christian taught me that.

“It’s no problem. I didn't see you either,” I said breezily with a flick of my hand.

That shut her up. Her shoulders slumped and she lowered herself into the chair beside Rogan. “When’s your next free day?” she asked him with a flirtatious smack of her lips.

“I don’t have free days. I’m actually driving down to Calgary tonight. Too bad you’re busy with your party.”

“I could ditch it and tag along,” she offered immediately.

“And too bad I’m busy,” he continued. “I’m on my way out now, so I’m going to have to shoo you along.” He closed his laptop and started packing it up.

Felicity-Ann got up to give him room. “Okay, but I’d better get a text from you or something.”

“Of course, you will,” he said, giving her a little push back toward her spot on the couch.

Another girl would have been discouraged by the constant blow-off, but not me. To me, it only provided further evidence that he was Christian in disguise. What I was witnessing was a perfect example of how he treated women. Granted, he was less cordial than gentleman Christian, but the message was the same.

He slid a toque over his hair and seemed like he was going to leave without saying anything more to me, but he picked up his smoothie and drank some more of it.

I stood up and met his eyes. “What about our date?”

He took another long sip from the straw. Then he put the cup on the table with a slight echo. “I’m not likely to whore myself off for a smoothie.” Then he winked at me and disappeared around a corner.

I shook his cup. It was empty. Did he drink that monster-sized smoothie in five minutes? And he left the cup for me to throw away, which was the reason for the wink.

Well, I was completely mesmerized.

***

Except that evening, I was hit with another blow. I knew something was off as soon as I entered the apartment and Trinity was home without a guest. For two years, we had had an odd rotation of visitors. Now the apartment was blank, and Trinity sat alone in the middle of the shag carpet, playing on her phone.

“Oh, you’re home,” she said when she saw me.

I looked around wearily. “Is Brighton in the bathroom?” I asked.

“No.”

“Did you two break up?” I asked, looking around again like I’d see him behind a sofa. He practically lived at our place.

“No,” she giggled, and that was when I saw it. She had a diamond ring on her finger. Since her personal makeover, she didn’t wear rings unless she was going dancing. It was very noticeable.

For a second, I didn’t know how to react. If Brighton had asked Trinity to marry him, then that was tremendous… for her. I didn’t have any complaints against him, other than his considerable lack of flair. She’d been dating him for a year and a half. He was a law student who found time to work at the Campus Food Bank, where she worked. Their attraction had been instant. Though it was clear what his charms were, none of them were physical, but he was extraordinarily attentive to Trinity after the fashion of a guard dog. Trinity, who had never been cared for by a man in her life, was one hundred percent charmed and they started dating.

Stupidly, I hadn’t seen marriage in their future. I had always taken it for granted that Trinity and I would live together for at least four years. But as I saw her seated on the rug with her legs crossed and her eyes shining, I saw at once that our time together was coming to an end. The question was: how soon?

“Nice ring,” I said with a carefully chosen smile as I set down my bag.

“We’re getting married,” she said, sporting her engagement ring.

“Wow,” I said, hiding my unease.

“I know the ring isn’t worth that much,” she justified. “It only cost about seven hundred dollars. Can you imagine the look on my father’s face if he saw it? He would die of embarrassment at his daughter marrying a man who only spent seven hundred on an engagement ring. He would demand that I break it off until Brighton could afford to get me a ring that cost over eighty thousand. You don’t think it matters how much it costs, do you?”

I clicked my tongue sharply. “No. We’re not in Paris anymore.”

She understood what the reference meant immediately, and looked at me as if to beg my forgiveness for backing out of our deal.

Without words to excuse her, I dropped on the rug next to her and put my arm around her. I had been her friend too long to dismiss what she was getting when she married Brighton. I was still in the league of people who remembered Trinity from her wild, attention-getting, days. Everything was perfect as long as she wasn't dumped on the sidewalk in front of an emergency room by friends who didn’t want to get arrested. She was a long way from that and marrying Brighton would take her even further away.

“Congratulations!” I exclaimed. “Have you set a date?”

“We were thinking this summer,” she said dreamily. “That way, he’ll be done law school and I can move with him wherever he goes to do his articling. I might not have to give up on my degree if we move within a certain radius of a decent university.”

I nodded. “I’m happy for you.”

“The only thing I’m sad about is leaving you alone here after the wedding,” she said mournfully.

“It’s all right,” I said, picking up her left hand and making a show of looking at her ring. “I’ll put some effort into finding another roommate… or maybe I’ll just live here by myself.”

“I don’t want to leave you alone,” she protested. “I’ll help you find somebody if you have trouble.” She winced.

Then I winced.

She wasn’t finished giving me the bad news. “And there’s something else. Brighton wants to take me home for Christmas.”

I nearly choked. As it turned out, I had already taken all the bad news I could stand for one evening, and this final bit was going to make me cry.

“He doesn’t want to take me for the whole holiday,” she adjusted quickly. “Just for Christmas Eve, and then we’ll be back by the twenty-seventh. I’ll be able to spend New Year's Eve with you.”

I nodded slowly. I had never spent Christmas one hundred percent alone.

“I’m sorry,” she said, “it’s just...”

I blew her off. “There’s no need to apologize,” I began. “We’re friends, not life partners. Go. Have fun. I’m sure I’ll be able to think of something to do. I’m not helpless.”

Trinity dropped her head apologetically. “I’m so sorry. I’ll see if I can help.”

I sighed. “Really, don’t worry about me. I’ll think of something.”

I didn’t have a bedroom to stomp off to, so I went to the bathroom and started the shower. Even though all I did was lean against the counter with my knuckles against my mouth while the water ran. I didn’t cry. I breathed and got a grip. There was nothing to be afraid of. Christian was back, and this time, he wasn’t my guardian. He was Rogan, my contemporary. All I had to do was let him know what was happening with Trinity. Everything would be fine. Even if Trinity moved to the moon, everything would be fine. I just needed to find a way to tell him how scared I was to be alone, and how I had never got over the hurt I felt when he left me.