With these thoughts, Gerel once again headed toward the garden in the evening. There was a week left before the official negotiations, and he felt certain he knew what the next conversation would be about over their usual game of Mist and Clouds.

And, to some extent, he was right.

The emperor sat at the same terrace, at the same tea table. As usual, two cups were set out, and a board for Mist and Clouds was already prepared — he was expected.

This time, there were no bodyguards in sight, which further convinced Gerel that Yukinari intended to ask him to serve — such discussions were better without the presence of outsiders.

Yukinari, playing the role of a courteous host, poured tea into their cups.

There was something ritualistic about these tea sessions — strange, yet understood only by the two of them. (Or was it understood? Gerel wasn't sure.)

"This time, for a change, let's not play," Yukinari said softly. "Let's speak frankly."

"I have no objection."

"What do you think of Ryukoku? You've seen enough to form an opinion. And don't tell me again how beautiful it is."

"I could repeat that if you'd like. I'm increasingly convinced that every kingdom has something to teach and something to learn from. But each also has flaws that hinder one from seeing its virtues."

"I feel the same way. But tell me, have you ever wondered what the world would be like if there were no borders between the kingdoms?"

Gerel smiled faintly. The conversation was taking the exact turn he had expected, and he was curious to see how far Yukinari would push it.

"I think everyone would welcome it if peace prevailed, even if just for a time."

"Again with your 'temporary peace'... No," Yukinari replied with a hint of impatience. "What if there were no more wars, ever? What if the kingdoms that have been at war for centuries became one great nation? Without borders, without emperors. Have you ever imagined such a world?"

"I have," Gerel answered briefly and evasively.

Yukinari studied him closely, as if trying to figure out what he was thinking.

"I keep trying to understand what drives you. Just don't tell me it's for the money or power."

"Why do you doubt that I simply wish to serve my country?"

"Because we've discussed this before, and I know that neither patriotism nor loyalty to family, or anything like that, binds you to the Land of the Tiger. So why do you serve it? What do you hope to achieve in this war? What do you dream of?"

Gerel did not want to answer any of those questions.

Or perhaps he simply had no answer?

Once, he wanted only to survive.

Then, he wanted revenge: for his mother, for all the Strangers, for those who had the white blood... But as he grew older, he bitterly realized that no amount of vengeance could quench that thirst. He could kill ten thousand, a hundred thousand nomads, but he could never avenge what was lost in the past.

Then, he wanted power. And he achieved remarkable success in this. But power, like revenge, turned out to be a poor remedy for loneliness and self-loathing.

Had he ever dreamed of anything beyond that? Perhaps, but that was a long time ago. Now, he had grown up and become cynical.

He remained silent, deciding to wait and see if Yukinari would speak further.

The emperor hesitated, then seemed to resolve to be completely candid:

"Do you know what I dream of? I dream of uniting the Middle Kingdoms. I want there to be no more wars. I believe it's possible to create a country that has never existed before, where reason, freedom, beauty, and law rule — not fear, money, and prejudice. A place where people are judged by their virtues. Where any peasant could learn whatever he wishes, be tested on his abilities and talents, and perhaps even rise to the highest ranks."

"But you already have an exam for rank, like in Yuigui."

"Yes. But it's no secret that it's just a formality. Only the descendants of noble families get the positions. You could rearrange the words: all the descendants of noble families get positions, regardless of whether they deserve them. And the common folk have no opportunity, not just to take the exam, but even to learn anything. You yourself said it: in my country, being a poor girl from the slums means you're doomed for life... But I believe that one day, this exam will be completely fair. And women will be able to — not only able, but eager — to participate. Just like in Yuigui. The emperor himself will ask the questions to the candidates. And those who govern will be only those who are capable of wielding power wisely. Moreover, the people will choose their ruler... I don't want to say, 'I will create a country where everyone will be happy' — sorrow and happiness are in the hands of the individual. But I do want to create a country where people, at least, will have more chances to be happy than they do now."

Gerel listened with a cold smile.

"So you're quite the idealist. But I suppose that's no surprise — you're still so young..."

Yukinari was twenty-two, only six years younger than Gerel. But Gerel wasn't at all sure that he wanted to hear what the emperor was about to say and wished to stop him, even if it meant being rude or arrogant. But Yukinari understood him — sometimes even more than he needed to — and so he let the remark about age slide past, continuing:

"You can keep saying that I'm naive and that it will never happen. I've thought that myself at times, which is why I was afraid to even voice these thoughts to myself, let alone share them with others. But now I've seen you, and I've realized you've thought about this too. You, like me, have seen Yuigui and know how wonderful a country can be when it's ruled by wise leaders, fair laws, and prosperous citizens..."

"Well then," Gerel said with a touch of sarcasm, "shouldn't we just let Yuigui continue ruling the world?"

"And drain the life from other countries like it has for centuries? I'm no fool, General, I know that Yuigui's happiness comes at the expense of others. Yet, I still believe that it's possible to lead other countries to the same prosperity, but without oppressing each other. The world we live in, having wallowed in endless wars for centuries — it's all wrong, monstrous, unjust, unfair. The world should not be like this. It's as if it was broken long ago... But I believe it can be fixed. And you want the same thing, don't you? You want to change the world for the better, even if you're using rather unsavory methods... We are connected. You feel it too, don't you? It's like a memory of something that doesn't exist. A false longing for a different, never-before-seen world..."

Gerel flinched, raised his hand as if to stop him, but said nothing.

"Like phantom pain..." Yukinari continued mercilessly. "But what if we gathered the courage to believe that such a world — this right world — could actually exist?"

"If anyone tells you that this world is all there is, don't believe them..."

"Mother, not this again..." he says, with a touch of irritation.

She smiles, her expression filled with a tender guilt. Her frail, delicate figure, with eyes as pale blue as a summer sky, stares beyond his face, as if seeing something invisible to him.

"I'm sorry... I know I'm not the mother you need — not strong enough, not... sane — that's what they say, right? But, you see, even if those worlds are just a fantasy, they're the only beautiful thing I have. They are, and you too, Gerel..."

He sighs, sitting beside her and gently covering her hand with his. It pains him to look at her, but he's glad that, for a moment, she has remembered his existence.

"Oh, mother..."

She squeezes his hand.

"My Gerel... You must hate me for bringing you into this hell, for giving you life. I am a coward. I just wanted someone to share my loneliness. Please, don't despise me for my weakness..."

"I don't despise you, mother, how could you think..."

"I know I'm supposed to live in this world. But you see, a person who's been locked in a prison will try to escape, won't they? Is it weakness that I still dream of a home beyond the prison bars?"

He shakes his head. He doesn't know whether it's weakness or not. He just wants her to be healthy and happy.

"It's a beautiful place..." she whispers. "If only our world could be a little more like the one I came from, there would be far more happy people... How I wish I could show you, Gerel! There, anyone can be what they wish to be. The people choose their ruler. There are no slaves, no masters, and work is a joy, not a burden, and no one forces women to marry those they don't love or to sell their bodies, and even the poorest have enough money not to starve..."

"And no wars?"

She rubs her temple with thin fingers, lost in thought.

"I don't know... I don't remember... Probably not..."

For a few moments, they sit in silence, looking at each other. How could Yukinari, of all people, see that in him? How could anyone think that his life, filled with wars, intrigue, betrayals, and — as the common gossip goes — bodies hung from posts, had anything to do with a dream of changing the world for the better? "A false longing for a different, never-existing world"... Why had he described it in those exact words?

Gerel hoped his face remained unreadable.

"You're an idealist. And how do you plan to... fix the world?"

"I don't know yet," Yukinari said seriously. "I was hoping that together we could figure something out."

"Together?" Gerel repeated, with an ironic edge.

Yukinari fell silent.

"At this point, you should invite me to serve you," Gerel tried to smile, but it came out, it seemed, less convincing than he hoped.