Dallas heard a soft hiccup as he approached the side corridor and he sprinted the rest of the way. Nate was hugging his knees against the wall, but he looked up when Dallas arrived. His eyes were red, as if he’d been crying, but there were no tears now.
“Hey Dallas,” Nate said softly, and he grinned ever so slightly. “You saw, didn’t you?”
Dallas nodded and he sunk to his knees next to the other boy.
“What happened?” he asked.
Nate took a deep, ragged breath; he looked as though he was about to start crying again.
“After we got back to class yesterday, Roy sent me a note to meet him outside the gym when school was done,” he said. “I thought it had something to do with church, so I went to meet him. Except…he told me that he knew I was…I was…”
Nate’s breathing started to falter and Dallas rubbed his shoulder comfortingly.
“Take your time,” he said. “I just want to help you.”
Nate’s lips trembled, but he nodded.
“Roy told me that he knew I’m…” he said, his voice growing quieter until the final word was barely audible, “…gay.”
Dallas was stunned. To his shame, hope flared in him and he wanted to declare, “I like boys too!”, but it wasn’t the time for that. Nate needed a best friend right now, so that’s what Dallas would be.
He must’ve been quiet for too long, though, because Nate’s eyes filled with tears as he glanced at Dallas.
“Please don’t hate me,” he said wretchedly. “I never meant to hide it from you! But I understand if you think it’s disgusting…”
“I don’t hate you,” Dallas interrupted fiercely, and he gripped Nate’s shoulder. “You’ve done nothing wrong and you’re not disgusting. I told you before, nothing you could do would make me mad at you - you’re my best friend, Nate!”
Nate was still crying, but he managed a grateful smile.
“Thank you, Dallas,” he hiccupped. “Thank you!”
Dallas waited patiently while Nate tried to compose himself.
“Roy threatened to tell my father unless I agreed to do what he said,” Nate finally managed to continue. “The Reverend can’t know about me being gay, so I panicked and stupidly agreed to do whatever Roy wanted. Then Roy held my arms and tried to kiss me.”
Again, Dallas’ blood pounded in his ears as rage overcame him. His fury must’ve shown on his face, because Nate grabbed his hand and squeezed it.
“I swear, Dallas, he didn’t actually kiss me!” he said quickly. “He was about to, but some of the other boys from the track team came around the corner and spotted us. Roy panicked and pushed me away, shouting something about how he’d never kiss me. I didn’t think twice before I ran out of there. Please believe me, I didn’t kiss him - I’ve never kissed anyone!”
He held Dallas’ hand tightly and stared at him with a fervent look in his clear blue eyes. Dallas understood it was important to Nate that Dallas believed him, so he managed a short nod of his head.
“I’m still going to bash his fucking brains in,” Dallas growled. “He had no business threatening you like that! I’ll make sure he’ll never say anything to anyone ever again!”
He moved as if to stand up, but Nate held firm to his hand and wouldn’t let go.
“No!” he cried. “Think of your practicum - you’ll never get to go if you beat Roy up! He’ll have you thrown into jail!”
“Fuck the practicum! My dad won’t let me go to jail!” Dallas replied heatedly, but Nate was crying again.
“Please, Dallas, I don’t want you to get into trouble for me!” he begged. “Promise you’ll stay away from Roy! I don’t want to lose you!”
Dallas’ head still throbbed with anger, but the sight of Nate’s tears brought him back to what was important: Nate’s safety. He took a deep breath and settled beside Nate again.
“OK, OK,” he said trying not to sound gruff. “So did Roy end up telling your father?”
Nate shook his head. “No, he’s not that stupid. But I was so scared that the word would get out anyways and sure enough, this morning I got to my locker and saw…that.”
He closed his eyes and his shoulders shook as he sobbed. Dallas put his arms around Nate and pulled him into a hug which Nate leaned into. He ran his hand over Nate’s thin back, feeling the bumps of his spine under his shirt. Nate seemed to calm down again and Dallas reluctantly let him go; his own anger had ebbed away, so that he felt hollow and empty.
“Do you think the Reverend would believe you if you said it was all lies and gossip?” Dallas asked. “Can’t you just tell him that Roy was harassing you and some of the church girls took it the wrong way?”
Nate sadly shook his head.
“No,” he said. “The school is going to report this to him and the truth will come out. It always does. And honestly, at this point I’m tired of trying to hide it. I think it might be better if I just come out and get it over with. Then I’ll finally be free of the fear of being discovered.”
He gave Dallas a tight smile that made Dallas want to cry.
“What can I do to help?” Dallas asked desperately. “Do you want me to be there when you talk to him? Do you want my dad there?”
“No, that’s not a good idea,” Nate said firmly. “My father already doesn’t like you or your dad. This is MY problem to take care of…but…”
He took up Dallas’ hand.
“…But if you could walk with me to the guidance counselor’s office, I’d appreciate that,” he finished.
Dallas laced his fingers with Nate’s and fought back his own tears. “Of course. Whenever you’re ready.”
They sat for a few minutes, long past the end-of-lunch bell. Finally, Nate gave a determined nod and they stood up. They took the long way round to the counselor’s office, ignoring any questioning looks that passersby gave them in the halls; it only took one glare from Dallas to make observers avert their eyes and scurry away in a hurry. Dallas refused to let Nate go into the office alone and he escorted him right up to the guidance counselor (who looked surprised to see the two of them together, much less holding hands).
“Oh, Nathaniel!” she said with relief. “We’ve been looking for you everywhere!”
Nate nodded. “Dallas convinced me to come. Can he have a pass so that he isn’t marked late for class?”
The counselor raised her eyebrows and looked at Dallas as if she’d never seen him before (which she hadn’t, really).
“Of course, dear,” she said, and she pulled out the pad of hall passes from her desk. “Here you go, Dallas honey. Try not to dawdle on your way back.”
She handed Dallas a hall pass and he let go of Nate’s hand to take it. He probably wouldn’t have left that office if it weren’t for Nate, who gave him the barest of smiles and said, “I’ll be OK, Dallas. Trust me.”
“I trust you,” Dallas replied, and he left.
* * * * * * * *
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