"Just stay here for a second and don't move! I'm going to talk to the cops!"

I stare across at the extraterrestrial creature as he makes wildly gesticulating motions toward me and the floor, yells, and dances before ascending once more in the direction of the ceiling hatch. 

As soon as he is gone, I start looking for a way out and crawl across the dented floor, retrieving a ray gun and my translation device from one of the bottom cabinets.

My superiors had been adamant that I not interact with the local population until I was certain that they were non-violent, but it was too late for that. The creature referred to as "Alan" was a soldier, and orders were orders. Soon, more Tralfamadorians would be showing up with their guards, and I would be held hostage, tortured, and forced to give them information on the Tau.

Because of that, my exit had to be careful and swift.

I limp towards the side hatch and release the exit handle on the wall, the door sputtering open to reveal the dizzying sight of a narrow room. Toppled-over boxes, shelves, and a circle of smoke, ash, and destruction where I'd crashed my shuttle into someone's home were quickly evident, but I didn't have time or the emotions to feel guilty about it.

Boots thud on the floor, and voices rise from below as Alan and his troops move into position.

I sprint across the room and grab onto the nearest window, struggling to pry it open by jamming all eight of my fingers under the lip and heaving to no avail. Welded shut, I had been lured into a trap without even knowing it.

"It's not a real spaceship." Alan's voice filters from outside the room. "We just wanted more people to come and check out the bakery, so we kind of blew up our own roof, I guess? Just step back for a second while I open the door; there's a lot of trash in here."

The door creaks open, and I turn around, meeting eyes with Alan through the gap, who looks completely shocked to see me standing there. 

A second passes in which neither of us moves, and then I raise my ray gun and aim it at the window, the glass ball on the end buzzing and spinning when I charge it up.

"Wait!" Alan shouts, lunging for me, "No!"

I fire off a neon pink blast into the wall that sends the whole floor and building shaking. The sound is deafening when bricks and glass explode outward into the open air, and I quickly leap out, climbing out onto a metal grating on the other side and then falling when my shoe catches and rips off.

My head slams around as I roll down the stairs with multiple bangs and clatters, my already battered torso experiencing a double wave of punishment. Had I known that Tralfamador was this violent, I would have taken Mother Superior's beatings ten times over.

When I finally come to a stop at the foot of the stairs, I drag myself out into a filthy area littered with assorted bits of trash and catch my breath, chest heaving. This was the point where I wanted to sob deeply and scream in pure terror, but the Tau side of me wouldn't let me.

I stare down at the filthy ground beneath my bleeding hands as I kneel there, and slowly a torn piece of white, crumply paper comes into view between my fingers. There appeared to be an alien language written on it, and the material was slightly oily and left a yellow residue on my hands when I picked it up to inspect it. 

"Burr-Garr King," I whisper, my eyes rounding when I hold it up to my face. "Whoa-purr."

It was entirely possible that this "whoa-purr" was an invitation to see the alien king of Burr-Garr, and if that was the case, could I beg him for forgiveness? 

I carefully tuck the paper into my pocket and then limp out of the alley, something like hope beginning to return to my star as I make my way out from behind a wooden wall and several large tufts of green foliage peppered with yellow flowers. 

When I push the wall open, I emerge into the sunlight and am subjected to a rush of color and activity that nearly sends me reeling on the spot. 

There were structures of all sorts up and down a long grey path similar to the ones the Tau would take to and from the fortress and into the city. Tralfamadorians of all shapes and sizes were wandering in and out of these buildings, some of them carrying bags. 

The strangest part had to be the metal objects rushing past every five seconds. These were also in assorted shapes and came in different colors, and some of them smelled atrocious as they zoomed past, blowing out black smoke from their tailpipes. 

I reach out a hand to wave at one, wondering what it would do when it saw me, and much to my surprise, a bright yellow object slows down and comes to a stop.

The window rolls down.

"Hey, kid!" A scrawny Tralfamadorian shouts at me, his face wrinkles deepening, "Where you going? Cab fee's five dollars an hour."

I quickly turn on the translator in my ear in an attempt to help with communication.

"Burr-Garr King," I tell the alien man, showing him the invitation I had discovered and giving it a couple of taps with my finger. "I want to meet with your superior immediately!"

"Are you talking about Burger King down the road?" The man scoffs, "I wouldn't call it superior unless you like shitting for five hours on the toilet afterward, but I can take you there. This is a cab after all."

I gaze at him, unsure of what he is referring to and why the Burr-Garr King would influence my bodily functions. "My defecation habits have nothing to do with this," I inform him. "Will you take me to your king or not?"

"Just get in, Pinky!" The man snaps. "I don't got all day!"

I hastily clamber into the Tralfamadorian's metal beast and close the door behind me, a huge smile on my face, until I look out the window, towards the building I had jumped from.

Alan comes running out from behind the wooden wall, my pink shoe in his hands. He looks both ways frantically, his face and clothing covered in dust. A second later, he spots me sitting in the cab as it pulls away, and I think I see something like shock and dismay cross his expression.

I watch him for a second longer, and then I sit back in my seat.

I would not concern myself with a creature who had called his superiors to take me away.