last day off I had opted to stay in like I always do on my days off and had binged watched cheap sci-fi movies while eating way too much junk food. The mess had been slowly accumulating for weeks, but I had turned a blind eye to it. I have a tendency to ignore problems until they become bigger problems. I rub my face and quickly come up with a plan of attack to restore my sanity. I start with folding all of the blankets I’d left scattered on the couch and neatly pile them on the end cushion with the pillows stacked on top. Next I grab all the bags of chips and candies I have lying about and walk them to the kitchen to shove them into a cabinet. I go back to the living room to tackle the stacks of books and movies I have everywhere. Maybe it’s a good thing I had woken up early because I can already see my self spending the next hour (if not two) reorganizing this stuff. Before I can get started though the light catches something shiny on a stack that I’d been building on the coffee table drawing my attention to it.
It’s the card Ray had given me. The gold lettering had been reflecting the light. I pick it up as I remember the disaster of this morning’s date/not date thing. Not wanting to fall into that pit of social despair I shake my head to clear the thoughts out. I turn the card over and again find the number printed on the back and the website. The website’s url is ‘wizardforhire.’ Even the thought of adding the phone number into my contacts causes a pit to grow in my stomach. I quickly nix the idea to soothe my anxiety… It wouldn’t hurt to check out the website though.
I boot up my laptop and type in the full url. I don’t know what I had been expecting. Maybe some part of me had been thinking it would look like some website from the early 2000s with blog posts about the occult and links to other gimmicky occult websites. But no, instead it’s an actual online store. The home page shows pictures of the inside of the shop with a small about blurb at the top.
‘Potions, psychic readings, and magic investigations.
- All potion orders require a first time consultation. (For love potions all parties intending to participate must be present for consultation.)
- A copy of the police report is recommended for any investigations involving a crime.
*We are not entertainment for hire.’
I read and then reread the words on the screen. ‘Magic investigation…’ Like a PI? I know that Ray consults with the police (or rather with Dana), but I didn’t think he did independent work for money. I try to think back to the few times he’s come to see me and asked me for help on old police cases. He had always just said that he was trying to help out a friend or that he was just curious about it like a while ago when he’d asked me about some girl that had been murdered in her home during a robbery. I thought he’d just been interested in true crime stories. It had seemed like a normal thing to assume about an occultist.
The latter half of the About page is taken up by another blurb talking about vegan candles sold in the shop, but they’re clearly not affiliated with the wizard side of the store. I continue to look through the website to see what else I can learn about Ray and his wizard business. There’s a page dedicated solely to potions that I start to browse through. Most of them seem to be medicinal in nature. Potions to help with arthritis, cataracts, or back pains, but there are also a few that just seem more recreational like one for increased energy and the so-called ‘love potion.’ Just like the blurb had said though, I can’t purchase any of these things online. Instead the website asks for my information and when I want to come in for a consultation. None of this seems really magical. In fact the most magical service advertised on the site is a psychic reading, but even that’s just tarot cards. There are no magic crystals or seances or spell casting or even lucky charms.
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I sit back on my couch with a frown. Maybe I had pegged Ray all wrong. He had said wizard and magic and my mind had jumped to Hogwarts, but all this stuff seems pretty run-of-the-mill. I mean I can walk into Chinatown and find twenty different shops selling this type of stuff. So maybe not a delusional weirdo. Eccentric, absolutely, but I guess not crazy. Hmm, I stare at the card… I guess it wouldn’t kill me to add his number into my contacts. It’s not like I have to text him or anything yet. In fact I’ll probably see him in my morgue before I build up the courage to text him… which seems worse.
What if I do actually see him in person before contacting him? That’ll be super awkward. He’ll want to know why I never texted him. And what would I say? That my anxiety gave the idea a big nope and so I had just ignored him. No, no, no, I need to text him something… but what? I could just say hi. I find myself shaking my head at that thought already though. ‘Hi’ is super lame. I need to actually say something, start a conversation. I stare at my phone dumbly while trying to think of the words to type out. Finally I just give up and type out:
I quickly add on my name so he doesn’t think I’m a spammer or something.
I feel my gut twisting itself in knots while I’m waiting for his reply. It’s about five minutes before he texts something back.
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