Should I? Did I mean to? Don’t think so, don’t want to. Does It want me? Or do I want It? It says It wants me for me, It wants me to make It jealous. I want It. It doesn’t know about It. Or itself. It thinks we’re through, It still thinks we’re still on break. It wants me but won’t ask. It wants me, but it’s scared. It doesn’t tell things to It. So It won’t say a thing to It. Should I cease the tease? I didn’t mean to start it. But it happened, now It wants me. Is It strong enough to fight for me? To take me away from It? I do things for the pleasing. I thought I was over it, until it said, “I still love you.” I thought we were over, but It brought me back. Should I be fooled? Or played? Don’t think so, Don’t want to. Should I cease with the playing of its heart? I didn’t mean to, or should I? Should I make it pay? No, after all, that’s happened I’m not mad at It. After all, It said, I’m not less in love with It. I’ve learned my lesson, but when It asks again will I say yes? And when It finally asks, will I say yes? With one it’ll be our first, but with the other, it might be a repeat. I’m cool with It, after everything that’s happened. But will it be the same with the other? For it will be our first. Either way, I’m cool with both of them, or just one? Two makes one. But with me, is it two or three? I guess I will cease my tease. And therefore be at ease?
These are a small collection of poems, short stories, or what could have been novels, that I have written since '06. & now after more a decade, I've decided to share them all with you. Looking back, some stuff will be cringy to read lol...it's all an emotional rollercoaster, but hopefully you'll have fun with it, like I have, but in the meant time, enjoy my awkward queer weird self, as I go thru my journey of just plain awkwardness, & learning to heal, letting go, & moving forward, with life.
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