{sept 1st} Dear diary,

Despite my life spiralling downward more and more as the days go by I am now going to ignore the fact because now I have a reason to keep journaling. There are butterflies in my stomach (it's not a jock this time I hope you're proud of me) which is also what the boy sitting in front of me in french is drawing. He has long brown hair and hazel eyes and is wearing a band tee with jeans. I've been staring at him for the entire class period and it's almost the end. and I am HOPING I'll have the strength to talk to him tomorrow but I think that everyone in the world knows that Fen Lestat has never in his life walked up to a pretty boy and not have a breakdown in the bathroom from how bad it went afterwards. I think I'll settle with listening to carpetgarden while daydreaming and crying later. And even if I do end up talking to him the farthest I would get is them instantly finding out im gay and then I get another -male genitalia- drawn on my desk. Really, you think an art school would have more queer people in it but as far as I know it's only me, Cairo, nick, and that one dude in my math class but he's annoying. And despite all my reasons to stay away here I am, writing about a random boy I randomly started to obsess over because he's cute and he's quiet. What has my life become?

                -Love, your local gay mess, Fen.