To not get confused: he is the kid from the epilogue. Actually, Chris is written after my friend again. He can be very childish, but can go deep very fast too if something bad happens in his life, or was like that at the time i wrote this book. Also he suffers from some type of post-traumatic stress disorder mixed with dissociative amnesia, and yes, he has two names. Seems in the past my readers were confused by this factor. Mr. Muller you can all guess who is ;p The book is a tad different from SID. Perhaps most of you might be put off by  one or few characters personalities, but are written after real ppl. Yes chris has a contradictory personality and can be annoying, but he didn't lived his childhood and teen period normally. Give the poor guy a chance, he will get under your skin fast :))). Had to write this because i remember the reactions i got 6 -5 years ago when i first published this story

 A ray of sunlight came in through the narrow and round window railing. From outside, the alluring warble of the birds was clearly audible, as well as the deep gasps of horror which riddled the peculiar silence, while I was being watched in a compromising position.

The fourteen pairs of eyes, which looked at me, might have thought I was some kind of freak, or worse, a pervert who couldn't hold his pants up on him for anything. I might have been, but not in public. A sly smile appeared on my face and then quickly faltered.

Now all might have wondered why I had my pants down and as well my underwear, shirtless and drops of water falling on my back. Easily could have been mistaken for sweat, while I was on my knees in the janitor room, between the legs of an inflatable doll.

My butt was out in all its full glory with an audience nobody wanted. There, in front of the door were the school principal, the secretary, and the school counselor slash psychologist, who had his palm on his face and worse inspectors. With the corner of my eye, I could see my soon-to-be former best friends who slowly slid away, laughing.

In short, a lot of bad luck and stupid dare, that led to this moment. What came next, was me in front of the Principal, and another long lecture, yet I escaped fast, and I even had time to wait for one of my friends too, who was the hostage of the same cruel man: the Principal.

In the glass, the reflection of a boy walking impatiently back and forth was revealed. He was a midget with good looks. He had stunning, rusty, short hair and was dressed in tight, black jeans and a grey hoodie with its sleeves up, revealing his leather bracelets. Yes, that was me!

The Principal's door opened and from it came out one of my friends. Staring at him, I was already drooling, like I was looking at a cake in a baker window where most of the tastier cakes were put on display.

I found myself many times just staring at them, nearly licking the glass. Tony glanced at me and rolled his eyes, pulling me by my sleeve and dragging me toward the cafeteria.

"If you stop eye-fucking me, I'll buy you a cake."

I nodded happily like a five year old child, clapping my hands, reminding me suddenly why I was waiting for him, while the secretary with her glasses on her nose was giving me annoying quick looks like she wanted to stab me in my legs just to stop.

"Did you cheat on the math test again and get caught?" I cleared my throat and gave him some advice. "When you cheat, my apprentice, never make a perfect score!"

Tony stopped and peeped at me with those big and deep jet black eyes of his that made me melt.

"I didn't cheat, you smart ass."

"Impressive! Did you actually learn?" I asked him, staring shockingly into his eyes.

"Yes!" he replied flatly, with a bored look in his eyes, as he started to walk toward the cafeteria. My stomach was growling heavily by now. "My brother stayed stuck like a leech to me," he continued, glancing ahead and ignoring me while I was bouncing around him. "He practically became a part of my body."

“Oh! the infamous brother who I had never ever seen. Are you sure you didn't mistake your pimp with your brother?"

Suddenly, I felt a punch in my arm and a smirk on his face appeared.

"I'm not a slut like you."

Touché, but if he was trying to make me feel bad, well, he didn't succeed. I had good looks and a slim body that everyone wanted to touch. It was not my fault.

"Hey!" I pouted. "You love shoving your dick in this sexy ass," I told him with a smug look on my face.

Tony snorted and I faked a hurt moment in a diva pose. Not paying attention to my surroundings, I walked into something, or rather, someone. Before my eyes appeared a pair of lifeless, green eyes. They were so cold that even I shivered looking into them, and I was hot as hell, but even so, those eyes made me freeze instantly.

"Mr. Schieff, look where you're walking and pay more attention."

Let's specify to whom this deep and low voice belonged. It was our gym teacher. He was young, beautiful, well-built, but sadly always grumpy, and I could swear he had a black aura surrounding him, which gave me the creeps.

I nodded while out of the corner of my eye, I caught something suspicious. Mr. Muller glanced shortly at Tony while he bowed his head like the good kid he was, and then he reverted his eyes back to me. He glanced with a frown at my wrists, and then walked away.

"That teacher scares me, and I think he hates me," I announced to my pal who told me he already knew because I always said it, then he went silently, like falling on deep thinking. "Tony!" I shouted in his ear.

"You fucking idiot!"

"Welcome back to earth!"

"Whatever you say, moron," Tony said, gazing down at the floor and pulling out his phone to check his messages.

I knew because I peeked. His voice was low and he seemed uninterested in everything. Usually he was cold and always serious, but today he seemed off for some reason. He shrugged his shoulders and sighed.

He frowned when he saw a message, but he didn't reply.

"Now, give this kitty a piggyback ride. I'm exhausted," I said to lighten up the mood. He lifted his head and smirked.

"It is just because you talk non-stop. We're at the door. Walk .You have legs, Sebby."

I pouted once again, but it seemed that my cute face didn't work today. I had to walk. The moment that I entered the cafeteria, my gorgeous self hit a thick wall of only muscles. Of course, a pain in the ass never came announced. It was my luck. What could I say?

What came next, I did not know, but for now let's just get rid of this pain that I call "Rick Carvin". He was the star of the school soccer team, and a huge motherfucker. Pardon this kitty language.

Glancing at him, I would have to have been blind not to see his sexy facial features which made him look slightly older than an 18-year-old teen. Those clear, icy blue eyes made me want to jump on him. However, there was a problem. His junk was freaking huge, and he would ravage my skinny ass in two. Not that Iever saw it, but I could have guessed.

"How many times have I told you? Stop staring at my crotch, fag!"

"Fag?" I glanced at him, and then he hit me. "Oh! You mean fabulous, agile, and gorgeous? Then yes, that it is me."

I finished my speech, winking seductively while licking my lower lip.

"Fuck off!"

"I'll fuck you badly, but you know at this moment I can't. I'm too shy with these eyes on my sexy body." I blew a kiss at Rick, who by now was red like a tomato.

I might have been short, but I certainly was not weak. I could defend myself from idiots, but with my luck I'd be pulled out of some can trash later by Tony with a black eye.

I shrugged while walking toward our table, hearing Tony chuckling behind me. James, my second best friend, was already eating like a pig. I should mention he was a Korean boy who didn't know how to say "hi" in his parents' mother country. What a shame.

He had red dyed hair and glasses which made him look like a nerd, but he was far from it. He stared at us and dripped a piece of meat from his mouth. It was a pretty sight, but not for those with a weak stomach.

"Yo, honey bunny!"

Tony stared and started to laugh. "Don't look like that at me. You already know this. I'm sweet like honey and can go like a bunny all night."

"I remember..."

"You two fucked again?" James asked while he licked his fingers and greedily stared at our lunch. We both shook our heads denying it while he started to eat my tasty pizza, while I started to brag about my mother's cooking loudly and scanning the cafeteria for my hot boys.

My eyes landed on the school "delinquent". Everyone called him that. His short, jet black hair, those stunning, black eyes, and his slim body made me drool.

Our eyes met, and a sly smile crossed my face. I noticed that he had just showed me his middle finger, and a grimace spread across his face. He looked pissed.

It was a good way to start a new friendship with a kid who seemed to hate you for an unknown reason. It was true that I always stared at him. Luckily, later on I'd feel his suave touch upon my ribs, like always.

I needed the pain to feel alive. This was the real me, not the goofy kid and what better way was to enrage a kid with anger issues. Tony's eyes land on me and suddenly soften.

During our lunch and while my eyes were fixed on the guy, I felt a grip on my leg and James' eyes upon me. I let out a soft yelp while he dug his nails like he wanted to pierce through my flesh.

"Are you okay, Sebby?" I heard Tony say, who had been watching me worriedly. I guess I made a grimace due to the pain from my leg. I nodded and started to bite my cold pizza.

James was still staring at me, clenching his jaw.

"I know," I whispered, but he didn't believe me. It was not the first time that I lied to him shamelessly. The same thing happened when I first met Tony.

"I'll be watching you," he whispered back.

Tony glared at us, confused.

"Anything I should know?" he asked while James smiled. We both shook our heads. My eyes were still on J.D.; yes, that was the guy's name.

"What are you thinking, Sebby?" Suddenly, I was pulled from my thoughts, and I felt Tony gripping my hand under the table." You have me for your needs..."

I nodded while James flashed a glimpse of anger and cussed under his breath. Behind J.D., suddenly I noticed a skinny boy, shy, poorly dressed, and pale like hell, while everything around him became fuzzy.

All became distorted around him and James' voice became sharp, piercing my ears. I could not swallow, and I felt my heart slamming in my chest while a cold sweat took over me.

He had beautiful, green eyes and ginger hair. He looked at me and his eyes became lifeless. He said something, but I chose to block it out of my mind.

A ghost he was, that it. My mind was playing tricks on me once again

My heart ached suddenly. My smile faltered and I felt weak. A flash passed before my eyes. A woman warmth while I'm at her chest, safe in her embrace I was crying, scared, and cold. I was undressed, in my knees. ..

I stood, shaking and trying to block my thoughts while feeling the saltiness of my tears in the corner of my mouth. James looked at me and tried to hold me down. I needed pain to be alive. I needed...

"Christopher, enough..." James yelled at me, holding me pinned to the wall. While I noticed we were outside, I struggled to get out of his grip. Near me, Tony was catching his breath.

I looked around, puzzled, and before asking how I got here, I heard Tony's voice, calming me.

"You dazed off again, Chris!"

"Who are you?" My head tilted to the side, and I stared at the boys in front of me, who looked at me, shocked. Then, slowly I remembered.

My head hurt and my body trembled. James let go of me and I pulled myself into a tight hug to his chest while we were both falling to the ground then blackness. All I could hear was, "Call Sky now."

If Sky came, he would know as well...

When I opened my eyes, I was in the nurse's office. Slightly dizzy, I could see that boy's eyes piercing me as well as his words. "You should have died..." I moved my hand and felt something warm. The moment I turned my head, a set of hazel eyes stared into my monotonous, fainter green eyes.

"I heard you ran away from the cafeteria all of a sudden, Chris. Can you tell me what...?"

"Triggered me..." I stopped and glanced out of the window. "You didn't announce him, no?" He caressed my arm, and I could see in his eyes that he was conflicted.

"Not yet..."

"Then don't", I said flatly and closed my eyes. "I'll be fine. My mother will be worried if she finds out. I slipped a bit."

Sky looked at me and nodded. "This time you got it easy. James stopped you on time. If you happen to slip back into your haziness..."

"I know, you will call him, and he will show up and give me a talk. I won't do anything stupid."

"You don't know that. Last time..."

Sky stood up and left, but not before telling me to get back to the rest of my classes. I rolled my eyes and the moment I heard the door closing, my body practically curled in a ball on its own. Why couldn't I remember what happened and what he talked about?

"I'm fine," I mumbled to myself. I was happy, I had a family that adored me, and I adored them as well. Then why did I feel so shallow and empty inside?

I hated when this happened to me; it scared me.

I wanted those images to get out of my head.

I gripped my hair and pulled hard to feel pain, to feel like I was alive. In front of me was a broken mirror. My reflection was shattered. I stared at it as I slowly stood up, exposing my body in it and slowly discarding my clothes.

My skin was filled with old scars, but visible to me, as they were like tattoos. They killed me slowly and all I had was my marked skin to remind me. They were old and fresh ones as well, mixed in a grotesque maze.

Suddenly, I felt warmth upon my skin, and I was pulled near the bed. I felt my heart slamming in my chest, but my eyes were dry.

"Forget it all, Chris. I beg you..."

I heard someone's voice, and I closed my eyes.

"I'll forget,"

I whispered to the voice I knew. It was James. He rocked me back and forth while caressing my back, slowly making me drift into a deep sleep, where all my memories started to slowly fade away. They were locked in a small box, which I sealed off.

I was running from my past demons, hiding from everything...