Getting out of the car, my stomach was turning, but I pushed on. Vito was inside and he needed me. Matteo walked beside me. No idea the level of nonsense he was walking into. I knew, however, it was hard not to. I had spent so many years living in these walls. I was familiar with my surroundings and the people within them, and I knew that Vito could be in trouble. I was determined to help him, even though I was scared of my family, and Matteo had no idea the danger we were walking into.

To him, it would all seem normal. To me, this was a game of who’s mentally stronger. 

 It filled me with a mixture of emotions as I stepped inside the house; a sense of dread, fear, and nostalgia. I could instantly smell my mother’s favourite scent. The combination of raspberry and vanilla which brought back memories of my childhood. I was acutely aware of the fact that Viktor was going to test me to the limit, and I had no idea what to expect.

The paint on the walls was still the same ugly yellow, and the accents were still stark white. 

“This place is stunning!” Matteo said, and I looked at him. He seemed in awe of the details of the front foyer. 

“It’s deceiving.” I said, not sure if it was him or me. I was trying to convince of that. 

My family had nothing to do with my abduction or the abuse and torture I had sustained. One might say I was punishing them for nothing. I saw it differently. 

“I didn’t think you would actually come home, Ilya.”

Looking at the doorway leading deeper into this den of snakes, Viktor stood there, his bright white smile on display. 

“I came for Vito.” I said, before lifting up my sunglasses, leaving them on the top of my head. 

“You look well, cousin.” Viktor said, coming closer, and looking at Matteo. “You must be Matteo, Alessio’s brother.”

“Yes, it’s a pleasure to meet you, Don Russo.”

“Please, just call me Viktor.”

Matteo nodded, and the interaction left a sour flavour in my mouth. Nothing about it was all particularly wowing, or out of place. I just didn’t like it.

“Your mother and father are in the dining room with Vito. Lunch has just been served. Follow me,” Viktor said. Matteo asked him questions while we walked to the dining room, and I lagged behind, taking everything in. 

The door’s to the dining room were open and I could hear Vito as I walked in. My parents, and Vito, looked at us, and I took in the bruises, and cuts I could see on his face alone. Anger shot through me, and I felt someone touch my hand. Matteo touched my hand and spoke. “He’s ok, Ilya.”

“I want to leave.” I muttered. Viktor turned, and his lips set into a frown. 

“Come sit, we are having one of your favourites.”

Against my better judgement, I sat down at the table. I wanted to ask Vito everything, but there were too many eyes on me. My mother, my father and Viktor.

I looked up, met eyes with my mother. She flinched. I knew how cold and angry my eyes were. I looked at them every day. 

“Vito was telling us all about your improvements lately.” Viktor said, trying to make conversation, and Matteo too was talking about all my improvements. 

“So you thought it wise to use Vito to get me to come see you?” I said, barely holding back the venom in my tone. 

“Ilya, that is no way to speak to your cousin.” My father said, 

“And using an injured man as a hostage is any better?” I said, lifting the glass of water up to my mouth. Matteo said nothing, but you could see I did not disappoint him. 

“You refuse to see us, Ilya. There was little option.” Viktor said. 

“I am comfortable in the Concetta-Mihail house. Every single one of you, Russos, doesn’t seem to understand this—--”

“Ilya.” Vito said, with a warning in his eyes, and he kept flicking them to Viktor. Grinding my teeth, I sat back down, and I watched my mother relax again. She was on edge because of me. 

While everyone ate, Vito and Matteo included, I studied my mother and my father. They were still the same. The same eyes, hair, though now a little grayer than before. I felt I had to explain myself to them a little.

“I refuse to see you all, because I won’t pretend that everything is going to be normal again. It won’t. Just being in this house again makes my skin crawl. Without the handful of medication I take, I can’t function. Vito can attest to that. He is my babysitter.”

“You came here, though.” My mother said, tears in her eyes. 

“For Vito. I came for Vito.”

“Ilya, do we mean nothing?” My father said, raising his voice at me.

 I flinched, and Viktor spoke. “Let’s keep this conversation gentle. There is no reason to yell.”

“You’re my parents, but I don’t remember what it feels like. Hard to remember when the weight of the torture is heavier.”

“Oh, Ilya, what did they do to you?” My mother cried.

“Unspeakable things.”

“They left Ilya in the dark. They starved him, they beat him, they left him to die,” Vito said, making the entire story as short as it could be. I didn’t like that. He just laid it out for them to know. 

“You never would have cared for one person before. You did your family duty first.” Viktor said, 

“I paid with my life for this family, and Vito is not just a single person. He is mine, and I can’t function without him.”

“Ilya.” Vito said, and I looked at him. “That’s enough.”

“It’s not. But because you’ve said so, I’ll let it be enough.” Even if I didn’t want to in this moment.

“Ilya is still very much reliant on the treatment Alessio set out for him. Without the medication and therapy, and ongoing support, Ilya will revert back to being unstable.” Vito said. 

“You’ve had Ilya for years, and he is still having these issues?” Viktor said, crossing his arms, his food pushed away. 

“There is no fix for this, Viktor. I am beyond a simple fix.” I said coldly, before looking at my mother. “Do you still make honey cake?”

“Yes?”

“Do you have some already made?” I asked. 

“I might. Would you like it?” She said, standing up. 

“Please.”

Vito looked at me and frowned. “Still just as food motivated as you were seven days ago.”

“Yes. I am still the same, Vito.” I said, turning to look at Viktor. I spoke honestly. “I have no intention of ever returning to live in this home, have your position, or be an active member in this family.”

“Ilya, are you sure?” My father said, a look of hurt well masked on his face. I disappointed him.

“I want other things in my life. It was that title that got me into this mess. I just want to take Vito, and my car, and leave.”

“Your car?” Viktor said.

“Yes.”

Viktor nodded. “I was hoping you would stay longer. It’s been years, Ilya.”

“I need things to be on my terms, Viktor. I can’t do things on your terms, or I am dangerous. Understand this, the Ilya that grew up in this house is dead.”

“You can’t be that dangerous.” Viktor said.

Matteo chuckled a little and told him about the two guys in the basement and how I turned insides and outsides with my bare hands. I wasn’t as amazed by it as Matteo was, that was for sure. I wasn’t proud of it, but I didn’t regret it either. 

“How did you find Vito?” I asked, needing to change the subject.

“He was in the trunk of a car. I don’t allow gang members of any kind on my territory. We spotted them, and we removed them.” Viktor said, looking at me and smiling softly. He didn’t flinch or back down when he saw how harsh my eyes were. “I recognized him from the last time Alessio and I spoke in person about your healthcare, and had him brought here and looked at by our doctor.” 

“Thank you.” 

“Oh, no need to thank me,” Viktor said, smiling again, and it made my skin tight. 

I knew how this worked. Viktor would ask for a favour because he saved Vito’s life. Matteo knew this too, his eyes told me as we met eyes and he kept his face neutral. 

“What did you ask Vito to do for you, Viktor? Know that I won’t allow you to put him in any danger. I don’t care that we are family.” 

“We have a comfortable agreement.” He flashed me one of those bright white smiles, and I lost it. Comfortable agreement, my ass. 

Standing up, I stalked towards Viktor. Vito, despite his injury, was right on me. “Ilya. No.” 

My father watched in horror as I brandished one of the silver butter knives at Viktor. 

“Ilya, you’re clearly wrapped tight about Vito. Put the butter knife down, and we can talk about it.” 

“No.” I wasn’t interested in that. I was only interested in getting out of here with Matteo and Vito. Vito grabbed my hand roughly and yanked the knife out of it. He grabbed my chin and gripped it roughly. “Sit down and behave. Ilya. I'm satisfied with our agreement.”

I softened my eyes at Vito, and let my shoulders relax again, showing Vito I would listen to him.

“I understand now, Ilya. Vito isn’t just anyone, Vito is the one you love,” Viktor said, His eyes taunting me to deny him what he knew. 

The thing was, Viktor was right. 

“It explains so much, Ilya. The very reason you came,” Viktor said, further. “Our agreement won’t put your lover in danger, unless you’re a danger to him, Ilya.”