Atlas

Prologue

To feel like the world is caving in on you is, by far, the worst thing that could happen to someone. To feel like a freak in your own skin because you don’t fit into a normal standard to others was another thing. I was nowhere near normal. From the way I dressed to the way I acted. I wasn’t a normal alpha by any means.

It almost felt as if I were two people in one body. One that wanted to make my papa and dad proud of me and the other that wanted to tear everything to pieces.

My omega was soft.

My alpha was a disaster.

Our pack didn’t even like me. The only times I was treated as an equal was around my Papa, but the moment his back was turned, I was treated as if I were weak, almost like I was a no-one. I didn’t care much to be the alpha of my papa’s pack. At times I thought it pissed my Papa off being such a misfit. I wasn’t the alpha I needed to be.

I missed my Papa and Dad all the time, but I knew that they would be better without me there to fuck up the pack more than I already had, with the tainted genes I had. Maybe one of my cousins would take over the pack. A couple of them were alphas, anyway. It wouldn’t be hard for them. Alphas were meant to lead, and it would come naturally to them.

The day after my 18th birthday, I packed up my shit and traveled to another pack. I could feel the panic my parents had with the pack bond. I didn’t want to be around them. I didn’t want to look at their faces full of pity for me. I wanted to be alone. I wanted to breathe air without feeling like the world wasn’t crashing down on my shoulders.

I didn’t really do much in the pack I was staying in. But they welcomed me with open arms while I sorted myself out. It was no secret that I was one whole of two halves, the only alpha/omega in existence. The pack I was in managed to contact my parents and let them know that I was okay and I needed time to myself.

I stayed in a little cabin not too far away from the pack borders. I hardly went to visit people in the pack, and I didn’t even bother to get to know any of them. None of them was my mate. That was a quick realization after their first pack meeting. I just needed to collect my thoughts and discover who I was instead of the path that had been laid out in front of me since the day I was born.

I went on hikes, admiring the beautiful landscape of the state we lived in. Sometimes I’d sit at the peak of a mountain, and I’d stare out into the beautiful scenery and let my mind be at peace. I’d spend time writing my feelings and writing poetry. I also went to the pack's therapist, trying to sort out all of the webs that had been weaved into my head.

One thing I was grateful for was that I didn’t have problems with my parents. Despite how I left, I knew they loved and cared for me and only wanted the best for me. They did their best, and I slowly came to realize that. I wasn’t always an easy teenager to raise either. From smoking in the bathroom at school. Doing reckless things that would end up killing me, chasing after rogues who threatened our pack by myself. Driving drunk into the city and endangering the lives of humans and possibly exposing the supernatural world to them.

I mean, there were hunters, of course. But most humans thought them to be crazy, and they were outcasts to human society. They mostly got ahold of rogues and outcasts of the supernatural society, and even then, rogues typically stayed in their wolf form anyways. My Uncles Erin and Rowan were a bit different, though.

When they were rogues, they still clung to normalcy, electing my Uncle Rowan as the alpha of their rogue pack. They were misfits of their own pack. I related to them in a way, not fitting the werewolf societal norms. Not only were they rogues that were accepted into our pack. They were also in a polyamorous relationship with my Uncle Karsen. I loved them because they made me feel a little normal compared to others.

In a way, I craved what the three of them shared. I wondered if I would also have two bonded mates. Hell, if I knew. Even if I had one mate out there somewhere, would I be bonded to an alpha or an omega? Or just a normal wolf or something? I didn’t know, but I also needed to learn patience because it would happen sometime. Hopefully.

I think my biggest fear was finding my mate/s and them finding I’m Alpha/Omega and them rejecting our mating. It was one of the things all wolves feared. Although it was law to accept your mate, it didn’t stop people from rejecting them later on. It didn’t stop wolves from abusing their mates. I could never fathom hurting my mate/s. But it didn’t stop the fear of finding an alpha mate who would do those things to me.

I could defend myself, of course.

But would I be able to do that against someone I’m supposed to love and cherish?