“Give me the phone, Dino.”

Elias Nacht, Blue Jay Comics’ longest standing employee-of-the-month and resident cryptid enthusiast, fixed his sharp green-eyed gaze onto his best friend and held out an open palm. Adino Pao, said best friend and arguably the laziest employee-of-the-month, held the wireless landline up against his neck and pouted.

“But we’ve been at it alllll day, Eli!” Adino said, rocking back-and-forth on bare feet. “And you’re too nice to them! I’m tired…”

Something twisted in Elias’ gut, and he had to take a couple deep breaths. He rubbed his rotund stomach and squeezed his eyes shut, fighting the increasing urge to run to the bathroom. No, he refused to lose the vegetable Biryani Adino had packed the both of them for lunch.

“Please, Dino,” Elias huffed. He hoisted himself up onto one of the stools behind the store’s front counter. “Only one more call, then we can go home and play Mario Kart or something.”

“Ooooh, I do love going home early!” Adino clapped, landline still in his hand.

Business had been slow for Blue Jay’s Comics since the new villain known as “Boom Boom” wrecked havoc across the country with his perverse scheme, so their boss didn’t mind if the boys occasionally closed up early.

Especially because of their…well, unfortunate predicament.

“Okay, Eli, here you go!” Adino set the landline on top of the glass counter and Elias groaned. Why did he tolerate him again? The man was far too hyper. “Make this one count, okay?”

Although it pained him to push up against the glass showcase-for-a-desk, Elias snatched up the landline and pulled back. He grunted and flipped Adino the bird with his free hand, already dialing in the next insurance number written in Elias’ little black notepad.

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The distinct beep boop beep from Rosemary’s headpiece signaled another customer call, not even five seconds since she’d closed the last case. If she chucked her headpiece at Tanaysha’s cubicle neighbor, Jack, right after she had ended the call with the latest problematic member, then perhaps she could’ve had a minute to spare. But she didn’t, because Rosemary valued the company’s equipment, and she was a better person than that. Plus, Jack was a sweetheart who did not deserve to have a headset lobbed into the side of his own exposed head.

Rosemary had been working for Superior Healthcare since her move to the north twenty-one years ago, but the past month alone topped all experience at this particular call center by far in terms of busy work. There were multiple employees on maternity leave due to the last massive disaster and, since Rosemary wasn’t one of the victims, she was expected to cover for the significant decrease in available representatives, despite being a supervisor now. 

While insurance companies received constant calls on-the-daily, each representative would have at least a minute in between calls to send a report. However, the minute-break had been removed for the next month so the smaller team could take as many calls as possible. Given Rosemary had worked her way up to the supervisor position over seven years ago, she wasn’t as up-to-speed with the fast pace required, so she relied on that minute to catch up. 

“Thanks for calling Superior,” Rosemary drawled into her headset after accepting the connection. “My name is Rosemary. Can I get your name before I assist you today?” She resisted the urge to refer to her last case as “a Karen” in the document she was typing up, and had to split her screen into two windows so she could prepare a new report for her current call.

“Uhhh,” Rosemary’s new caller said, voice wavering. “I’m honestly not sure if you can help me…”

“Can I start by gettin’ your name?” Rosemary asked again and winced at the twinge of her Georgian roots. Sometimes the accent brought unnecessary irritation toward her. “It’ll be easier for me to help you when I already have ya pulled up in our system.”

“Oh, I’m n-not a member,” the caller stuttered.

“That’s alright, dear.” Rosemary finished up her last report and sent it off to the appropriate team for further handling. “I can get you set up if you’re lookin’ for coverage.”

“Well, I, uh, saw the commercials about, erm, m-m-maternity coverage and wondered if Superior could help me,” the caller said in multiple breaths, and Rosemary bit her bottom lip to keep from laughing. So, the pitchy, yet gentle tenor tone belonged to a female? “But everyone else has turned me away…”

“We’re offerin’ coverage to all victims of the recent catastrophe regardless of age or employment status, ma’am,” Rosemary said and sighed internally. Of course she was another “Boom Boom” victim, but at least she wasn’t a screamer like the last one.

“Boom Boom” was what the latest “viral villain” called himself, most appropriately. He was a retired doctor who specialized in maternal care thanks to his unique ability to aid females who had trouble having children (and he was very expensive at that). Rosemary didn’t know much about him, but she certainly heard a lot of him since the man decided to start the country’s second “baby boom.”

“Well, um, you see that’s the problem,” the caller sighed, and her breath came out too harsh in Rosemary’s ear. “I’m not actually a woman.”

Come again? Rosemary thought, and both her eyebrows raised high up where she’d carefully matted her curls against her forehead. 

She rubbed at her temples, anticipating a headache. Was this new client transgender? An insurance company would still cover a pregnancy, regardless of their changed gender status.

“My apologies for assuming your gender,” Rosemary said.

“That’s okay,” the caller squeaked, “but what I’m trying to say is that I’m not, and never was a woman. I’m a man.”

“Sir, I understand and I assure you that your new gender will not affec—”

“No, please don’t misunderstand! I was born male and this was never supposed to be a worry of mine! Ever!” 

Rosemary was often cut off by callers, so she wasn’t phased in the least by this timid male popping off, but she was confused by what he implied. Was he trying to get coverage for his girlfriend? 

Rosemary picked up her travel mug and waited for the caller to continue. While this caller was nowhere near as hot-tempered as most members who called, Rosemary had dealt with enough to know that continuing to answer would only escalate the situation.

“I’m sorry,” the caller sighed, “but I’ve talked to so many insurance companies and they all turned me away. I didn’t ask to be pregnant, but that crazy doctor did this to me and my friend, and we’re at our wits end. We can’t afford surgery, but we can’t have the babies either, so we gotta get the bastards extracted!” 

The caller paused his spiel to catch his breath, and Rosemary nursed her luke-warm coffee, caught between whether she should try to help the deranged man or end the call and move on.

“And my doctor charged me the full bill when I got the ultrasound because my insurance denied it…” the caller continued in a hushed tone.

“Oh,” Rosemary said with a pop of her lips. The thought that this caller was a prankster remained on her mind, but she had to wonder if there was a real possibility that this potential new member was actually a man who somehow developed a whole reproductive system. Was this another variation of Boom Boom’s abilities he kept from everyone? And who was his “friend?”

Since 1982, when a massive meteor crashed into the Sonoran Desert, the largest shockwave washed over half of the entire United States—but only the closest states to the desert experienced actual damage to their infrastructure. The blast was more like an invisible force that altered some US residents’ physiology or physicality; it affected millions of people in strange ways. Some people learned they could move mountains with their minds, for example, and these otherworldly abilities caused the biggest shift in how their society was run to-date.

But the biggest phenomenon wasn’t the fact that people obtained literal superpowers, but rather the missing meteor. Scientists claimed it was a meteor that had broken through the atmosphere, and had picture proof to back it up, but nothing could explain what happened to the asteroid itself. The giant rock vanished as soon as it landed—a mystery that had yet to be solved.

Unfortunately for Rosemary, neither she—nor her parents—received any special abilities..

“Assumin’ you are who you say you are,” Rosemary said after some thought, “are you tellin’ me ‘Boom Boom’ gave you female parts? And would your doctor be willing to share records?” She had to ask to be sure because there was no way she was helping some lunatic who didn’t have any proof. “And did you say you have a friend in this same situation?”

The caller sighed, and Rosemary could feel his frown through the phone. “Yes and no,” he said. “We don’t, and by ‘we’ I mean that yes, both my friend and I are pregnant, biological males, as crazy as that sounds, but we don’t, well, have vaginas, you know,” he coughed, and Rosemary’s face warmed on his behalf. “But my family doctor, Dr. Sandstone, took x-rays and told me that yeah, I have all the organs needed to carry a baby. And Dino also has them. It’s absolutely insane, I know!”

What a truly wild world we live in now, Lord, Rosemary thought and had to restrain a chuckle. She didn’t think laughing would bode over well with the young man, after all.

Rosemary wanted to see these x-rays herself just to clear her doubts, HIPAA violations be damned!

“Wild indeed,” Rosemary said after another swig of her coffee. She set her travel mug down and gnawed on her lower lip, still a little unsure if she should continue on with this call. But if all these other insurance companies already turned the poor men away, who else was going to help them? And Rosemary was nothing if not a stubborn mother mule, as her adult daughter often told her. 

“Well,” she continued, “I don’t think I can rig the system for you, but since I am a supervisor, I do have some sway with the higher ups. Perhaps I can email a letter explaining your situation and see if we can make accommodations. How’s that sound?”

“I’ll take anything you can give,” the caller said with a sniffle. “Thanks, Miss.”

“Mmmhmm. Just gimme a moment here.” Rosemary opened a new document and picked the standard prefill template. At least the caller was quiet now, giving her time to focus.

“Can I get both your names and doctors’ information?” Rosemary said. “I’m gonna need all the information to best present your case.”

“Of course!” the caller said, and Rosemary sensed the man was smiling. “My name is Elias Nacht, and my friend here is Adino Pao.”

“Mmmm,” a new, somewhat sensual voice hummed. “Did you have to give her my name, too, Eli?”

“Shhhh,” Elias said, voice sharp in Rosemary’s ear. “You would’ve given it anyway!”

“I suppose,” Adino sighed.

Couple of children. Rosemary shook her head and added their names to the email.

“And I wouldn’t worry about Dino’s doctor ‘cause he’s gonna be switching to mine,” Elias continued. “You can just call Dr. Henry Sandstone at 440 906 7834.”

Rosemary added the doctor’s name and number to her document in a separate paragraph, making notes for how she was going to word the letter. “Okay, I took down all your information, and will make sure this letter goes out soon. Give it about three-to-five business days to process, but if ya don’t get any type of response, feel free to call us back,” Rosemary said, rocking in her typical, black office wheelie chair.

“Now, is there anythin’ else I can do for ya’ll today?” She forced a smile, praying this was the end to her torment.

“N-no, that’s okay! You’ve been a big help. Thanks a bunch, really, Rosemary!”

The caller actually remembered her name. 

“Mmkay. If you could just stay on the line long enough to complete a survey, I’d appreciate it. Thank you for calling Superior Healthcare, and I hope you have a blessed day.” 

Rosemary ended the connection and rubbed at her face. The beeping then returned as fast as she could groan out a small prayer for getting through another hard call. Cheese and rice, she thought as she yanked the headset from her head, I can’t ever catch a damn break for nuthin’! Can’t wait for Tanaysha to come back… 

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