Severus fiddled with the page, glancing at recipes that he knew were completely off the mark. You have to shave the fruit’s skin, not pull at it. You have to stir vertically, not in a circular motion…pretty soon he just shoved the book away and began brewing earlier than the rest.

Some of the class scoffed, others ignored, and the bolder ones would try to copy the dark haired boys’ techniques, he would often do them too fast for them to keep up with it though, either that or Severus’ long sleeves would hide what exactly he was doing with the ingredients. The concoction was finished earlier than the rest and as usual, Slughorn seemed delighted at the spectacular brew. Usually the professor would still have him around, can’t give special treatment after all, but perhaps he was feeling generous that day as he let Severus go earlier than the rest. 

A solid ten minutes were left until the next class would start, so Severus took his time and slowly walked through the quiet halls. Usually these would be filled with crowds who’d chatter endlessly, being able to simply enjoy the echoes of his steps was a nice change.

The dark haired boy was about to pass by the courtyard when he spotted two students near the yard’s tree. It was a boy with hair as dark as his own, but much shorter and curlier. Beside him stood a redheaded girl who giggled and smiled at whatever he was saying, it was hard to hear from this distance. He knew those two students well, especially the girl.

Were they allowed to leave early as well? No, highly unlikely. Severus did think it was strange how neither Lily nor that buffoon were attending potions today, it seemed Potter had convinced her into skipping class for a private rendezvous.

Severus’ hand clutched in on itself into a tight fist. He stopped in his tracks and simply scowled at the two, he wished to move his eyes away but this isn’t the first time he’s seen that moron kissing up to his frie-...his former friend.

Doesn’t that delinquent ever consider the consequences of his actions? Even just once? To think he’d pull Lily into his needless rebellious nonsense, she could get in serious trouble. Of course, that would just give Potter a better chance to get closer. Severus grinded his teeth as he imagined the two together in detention subtly throwing love notes.

Why can’t she see what he sees in Potter? In fact, what in the world does she see in Potter in the first place? He is nothing but a spoiled, arrogant brat. Him and the rest of his little gang are just…Ugh! He doesn’t get it one bit. The only explanation he could possibly conclude is that she likes him for his looks.

It hurts to admit, it really does, but James Potter is dashing…in a conventional sense. He has a strong build and a well shaped facial structure. His hair always seemed so flawless, especially when compared to Severus’ locks. His teeth were even pretty, what the hell, it’s like James won in the genetic lottery or something.

Sometimes Severus wonders if Lily would spend time with him again were he to look even close to perfect as that smug schmuck. Perhaps she would forgive more if…goddammit, this is exactly why they fought in the first place. 

When did Severus begin treating Lily as beneath him? Why did he call her something she knew would hurt her?

He wishes he could forget the shock, the betrayal. The way Lily looked at him…he never wanted to see that, he never wanted to be the one to make her look so…pained. Perhaps it’s not that Potter is some kind of handsome bad boy in her eyes, it’s more that Potter was there for her when the oldest friend she had wounded her deeply.

While Severus stood deep in thought, Lily had turned around and spotted the dark haired boy stalking them from the halls. James had looked over as well and grinned when he recognized Severus. James took hold of Lily’s shoulder and held her close, his eyes still focused on “Snivellus”.

Severus huffed in anger and finally averted his gaze, walking through the halls once more which had slowly begun filling with students again. He took one last glance, only to see a blank look from those beautiful greens. She used to look at him with so much warmth…

The dark haired boy bit his lip, trying his best to keep a neutral expression. Perhaps one day…someday…she will look at him with that same warmth again.

Days had long passed. It's been weeks, months and now years…but Lily and him were still silent to each other. After she and Potter had become an official item, Snape wasn’t sure how to approach her anymore or if he could even get close to her at all.

He could swear she tried to approach him during their graduation ceremony, however she was quickly pulled away by a half-drunk Sirius before they were close enough for conversation. Sometimes Severus wondered what she was going to say, or if she was actually just trying to head for the plum pudding behind him. 

By their last year Lily no longer looked at him with emptiness, so perhaps she forgave him…? It’s nothing but hope speaking, a delusion really.

Severus has done nothing but fantasize during his teen years. His stupid, stupid teen years. He constantly waited for her to approach him when he knew it should’ve been his responsibility. He didn’t however, he just cowered away because the idea of actually admitting his mistakes was too much for his fragile teenage ego.

Now, closing in on his mid twenties, he would legitimately do anything to rebuild the bridge they had. He didn’t care if he couldn’t get involved with Lily romantically anymore, he just wants his friend back. He wants someone who is still on this earth to care about him before his own passing.

He would do anything, anything to escape this lonely pit that he had dug himself.

None of his old Slytherin “friends” ever reach out to him, including the ones who were trying to get them in on their Death Eater cult, thank goodness he decided against it. Not even Lucius, his former senior who tended to treat him like his #1 lackey.

Severus wonders if that man will at least remember to send him an invitation letter to his wedding, as he’s heard that the man got engaged to a girl of the Black family. Oh! Speaking of letters, he hadn’t checked the mail yet today.

Although his old “friends” may not write to him, a high quality freelancer gets tons of ordering mail. As usual he gets requests for medicines and relaxing potions, however one letter looked different from the rest. The envelope was clearly made with muggle material, and the post address writing had been done with machine rather than feather; the postmark clearly indicated it came from England’s main muggle inhabited place, London.

He took a look at the sender…”Lily Potter.”…Ah.

Severus shoved every other letter aside and sat down, staring at the envelope for what felt like an eternity before finally flipping it open and reading the paper inside. It stung having to see her associated with that last name, but it certainly wasn’t a surprise.

The contents read…

Dear Sev, 

How have you been?...Haha, sorry for the cliche start, I wasn’t sure how else to begin this. 

James and I have recently moved to London, I’m not sure why but one day he decided to start working as a conductor for one of the hidden train stations! That’s right, stations, apparently they’re building more paths to places besides Hogwarts for easier access to muggle born wizards and witches.

We were living well, James still has his inheritance after all, but he’s been getting bored of the peaceful days I suppose.

Anyhow, I’m sure you’re wondering why I’m suddenly writing to you after…goodness, how  long has it been now, it’s been more than five years already hasn’t it? Ah! I’m getting distracted again.

Let’s skip to the main point: I miss you, Sev. I miss you a lot.

I’m still mad at you!...but nonetheless, I still want to see my friend again.

I recently tried reconnecting with my sister again and uh…let’s just say it didn’t go quite as well as I hoped. After that I started remembering our fight and…well…I don’t want to fight anymore.

Maybe this whole thing is a mistake and you still don’t want to be close to someone like me…just as my sister hates me for being a witch, perhaps you still hate me for being a muggle

…It’s ok if you ignore this. However, if you have any interest in catching up…write me back.

Above the last line something was clearly marked out. Severus could use a spell to get rid of the white out and see what it read, but whatever it was, Lily didn't want him to read it in the end, so he left it as is.

Snape sat back staring into nothingness for a while. He felt…strange. Happy, but confused and somewhat scared. Had she really forgiven him? Just like that? No, not forgive, she was still mad after all…maybe she just isn’t hurting anymore.

Reading that she tried getting back with Petunia again was a shock, the horrid words that girl said must’ve hurt more as they were family. Yet Lily still tried to resolve things with Petunia? Even after everything?

Severus read it again and again…until finally he grabbed a parchment and a feather to respond.

Dear Lily,

I’ve been well, after graduating I took a long trip through Scotland to learn more about foraging, during that time I learned that I despise taking long trips.

After that I worked at a simple potions shop for a while, but I didn’t enjoy the lack of quality in their work and instead started my own business as a freelance potions maker. Things were tough at the start but I saved up enough to not starve to death before business started to get going.

…I miss you too, Lily. I’m beyond ashamed for calling you something so horrid.

May we perhaps meet again? It might take a while for me to arrive to London as I still have to finish brewing for certain customers.

I would love to see you again and apologize in person…as well as once more become your friend.