With an apartment full of nothing but withered ferns and blackened succulents, I’ve faced botanical failure more times than I can count. But when the terra cotta planter on my balcony began to tremble and fracture, I realized this was worse than my typical gardening mishap.
Time stood still as I watched a fissure travel down the large pot.
Crack!
It split in two, followed by a deafening shatter. I stumbled and fell as shrapnel of clay shards and loose soil rained over me. When I opened my eyes, there was a strange lump in the dirt. It didn’t exactly look like the carrots I had planted. I blinked a few times, trying to make out the blurry figure. It was beginning to rise. This thing was moving.
“Oh god, is that a… raccoon?” I stuttered.
“Seriously? Do I look like a damn raccoon? I’ll obliterate you!”
Hearing the unfamiliar voice, I fumbled to retrieve my fallen glasses. “Who’s there?” I asked, attempting to hide the panic in my voice.
I shrieked when the figure in front of me came into focus. It was bipedal and about the size of a toddler. A very orange, lumpy toddler. Before I could process what was happening, the creature pounced on me and clambered under my shirt. My scream melted into laughter when I felt a sensation like velcro pressing against my skin. Was this thing trying to kill me or tickle me?
The creature pulled back in shock. “W-what did you do to me?” It demanded, rubbing a finger along its tiny teeth. It turned to look at the shattered pot with a look of horror on its face. “Was I… in there?”
I slowly nodded.
It raised tiny hands to its face and shrieked. “Who the hell grows carrots in a pot?! You stunted my growth, you colossal idiot! Gah! I’m doomed!”
Concerned about the commotion we were causing, I quickly grabbed the creature by it’s foliage and tossed it into my apartment. I didn’t have the brain capacity to try explaining this to my nosy neighbors.
“Hold up, you can’t just explode out of a pot and start insulting me! What even are you?’” I shouted. “What is going on?! The gardener at Home Depot did NOT warn me about this.”
The horrible carrot-gremlin snarled at me. “I am Unit #292592. I will not reveal confidential information to human scum.”
Rude little thing.
★★★
After some persuasion involving the possibility of throwing it into a stew, it finally confessed. It wasn’t a carrot. It was a she. An alien species with plantlike characteristics. She was assigned to earth in seed form. Hidden in a commercial packet of carrot seeds, the goal was to be planted in a garden. Given enough time and space to grow, she would emerge from the ground in full form, capture the nearest human and bring it back to her home planet for dissection.
“Wow… this is a lot to handle.” I said, exasperated. “Is it rude to say I’m glad you can’t kidnap and murder me?”
“Yes, actually.”
“I’m gonna call you Babette.”
“I am Unit #292—”
“That’s no name!” I exclaimed. “Babette, the variety of baby carrots I was trying to grow. My name’s Tera, by the way.”
She grumbled but said nothing.
“So things didn’t go as planned. What are you gonna do now?” I asked. “Can you… call your leaders or something?”
Babette tapped at the triangular emblem on her chest. “Yeah, if you want them to kill us both.”
It would make sense that she’d face repercussions for failing her mission. Now she’s trapped on Earth with nowhere to go and no one to talk to. This was the first time I felt sympathy for a root vegetable.
“Well, um, if you need a place, you could stay with me.” I said.
Babette looked confused. “Why would you…?”
The conversation was cut short when I heard my front door open. Crap. I sprang to greet the person in my entryway.
“Mom, heeey! I wasn’t expecting you!” I said, forcing a smile.
Out of all the times my mom could come to visit, she had to pick the day I was harboring an alien carrot.
“Sweetie, have you lost weight?” Mom asked, cupping my face. “Are you remembering to eat? I bought some food for you!”
She barged past me to set the bags of groceries on the kitchen counter. Babette was in the living room about 5 feet away. I was silently praying that Mom wouldn’t notice.
“Oh my god!” she shouted.
My heart jumped into my throat. I watched as Mom’s eyes scanned the dirt-scattered living room before landing on Babette. She was lying motionless on the floor like a vegetable. I realized what she was doing and sighed with relief. Clever carrot.
“You grew this, Tera?” Mom asked, lifting Babette into her arms. “I’ve never seen a carrot this big in my life! You HAVE to enter the Harvest Fair, you could win a world record!”
I looked at Babette. Mom was right. I could afford months of rent with that cash prize.
“Yeah, that would be fun! I’ll definitely enter.” I said.
The Harvest Fair was brimming with people and the weigh-in was taking place soon. Babette poked her head out of the basket I was carrying her in.
“These humans aren’t going to eat me, are they?” she asked.
“They would never!” I replied. “You’re far too impressive to eat. You’ll be cherished!”
“Cherished…” Babette parroted. She dipped her head back under the cloth to hide her sheepish grin.
It was easy to tell we would be winners. People fawned over Babette. They’d never seen such a magnificent carrot.
“Beautiful crop, a phenomenal specimen.”
“So cute, its shaped like a baby!”
During the showcase Babette stayed still as a stone, but I could tell by the flush on her face that she was enjoying the attention. My heart swelled. Babette got to feel valued and praised. Something she’d likely never gotten on her home planet where they simply viewed her as a “unit” used for missions.
After grueling evaluations, we won best-in-show and smashed the world record! Babette got a big blue ribbon strung around her neck and I felt like a celebrity as I posed with her in front of flashing cameras. I’d finally accomplished something with my life.
★★★
I sat on my balcony counting the prize money and enjoying the gentle autumn breeze. Babette had been scowling at me for a while and her leaves looked wilted.
“Whats your deal?” I asked, continuing to count.
She hesitated. “It wasn’t for fun.” she finally said. “You used me… you just wanted currency.”
I was speechless for a moment. I didn’t expect her to care about something like that, but she wasn’t entirely wrong.
Babette scoffed. “Whatever. I was using you for shelter anyway, but I don’t need you anymore. I can handle this dumb planet just fine on my own.”
“Babs, wait, I—”
Before I could explain, she hopped down from the balcony and headed for the forest. The first thoughts to pop into my head were:
How many ways can a tiny vegetable alien be killed while alone in a forest?
And...
I don’t want that!
I realized that I actually cared about Babette.
★★★
When I found her, she was between the claws of a horrific beast I’ve never seen before.
Don’t show fear. It can probably smell it... My knees were shaking. It was human-like, but easily twenty feet tall with disturbingly long limbs. It had massive claws and teeth. There was foliage growing from its leathery orange skin. I was frozen in place as I realized what this was. This was what Babette would’ve grown into? I looked at her small body, pinned beneath the beast. She squirmed and I felt relief wash over me. She was alive, thank goodness.
The beast had locked eyes with me. When it spoke, the deep voice boomed through the forest.
“Go home, human. Leave as if you have seen nothing and no harm will come to you.”
“L-leave her alone.” I stuttered.
“I cannot. #292592 is a defective unit. It has failed its sole objective and brought shame to our people. It can never return to our realm and must be destroyed.”
“I won’t let you hurt her!” I shouted. I walked forward until I was standing below the creature. “It-it’s my fault.”
“You are mistaken.”
“Her growth was disrupted because of me. She failed her mission because of me. Leave her on this planet as punishment… let me take responsibility.”
The beast appeared to be considering the offer. If Babette was trash to their people, then perhaps she could be left here for good.
No. With a swift hook of its claw, the beast pierced Babette’s chest. I screamed and fell to my knees. It tore the triangular crest from her body and it sparked with light before fizzling to black.
“As of today, #292592 is no longer Phytherium. We have plenty of Earthling samples and will no longer monitor this planet. Farewell.”
The creature vanished into thin air. I dove toward Babette’s body, desperately cradling her in my arms. She was so limp. Her color was so pale. I couldn’t save her...
“Tera…?”
My head snapped up. She was still with me. I sprinted home with her as fast as I could.
★★★
Back at home, I placed her in a comfortable position on my sofa. I sobbed as I watched the white sap oozing from the cavern in her chest. Her breathing was labored and she looked agonized. I started frantically mumbling to myself. How do I save a plant-alien? I thought about my terrible track record. All of my past plants had died except for Babette. She grew strong and healthy, considering her limitations. What did I do differently with her?
“It’s... your voice.” she said weakly.
“What?”
“Vibrations. The frequency of your voice is... healing.”
It made sense now. For the last few months before Babette’s emergence, I had been chatting to that pot on my balcony. I only did it because I read that plants grow faster that way. It’s totally not because I’m lonely and friendless in this god-awful city...
“W-wait, does that mean you heard everything I said back then?” I asked.
“Everything, down to the whispers.” Babette said between breaths. “I know a lot about you, Tera. I think the best part was—”
“Okaaay, let’s get started!” I interrupted. The little brat was grinning even in her grievous state.
God, she knows everything... My face flooded with heat as I recalled all of the late-night rants and embarrassing personal troubles that I shared. I quickly grabbed one of my poetry books and started reading.
Never trust a mirror,
it only shows you what’s skin deep,
You can't see how your eyelids flutter
when you're drifting off to sleep
It doesn't show you what the world sees
when you're only being you
or how your eyes just light up
when you're loving what you do
It doesn't capture when your smiling
where no one else can see
and your reflection cannot tell you
everything you mean to me
-Erin Hanson
I read to her for a long time before noticing that the wound had closed up.
“It really worked!” I cheered.
“Why did you save me…?” Babette asked. Although her strength had returned, her demeanor lacked its typical gruffness.
“Well… I don’t know! You’re not the nicest carrot girl, but you’re still a sentient being. Did you expect me to just leave you to die?”
“You heard the commander. I’m worthless. Look at me. I’m small…I’m weak… he removed my crest. I’m not of use to my homeworld. Nothing but a waste of life. I don’t deserve anyone’s kindness. ”
That was the second time I felt sympathy for a root vegetable.
“Kindness isn’t transactional, Babs. I did it because you’re important to me. I… I like you, okay?”
Babette bashfully turned her head away. “Back home they aren’t like you. You’re strange.”
I lifted her to my face and grinned. “Hey, you don’t have to worry about them anymore. So they don’t appreciate you, big deal! Here on Earth, you’re more special than you know. Bonus points for being kinda cute.” I teased.
“C-cute? I’d crush you, if not for…” Babette squirmed in my grasp, looking flustered. “Just put me down already!”
I couldn’t contain my laughter and I swore I saw a hint of a grin on her face too. Babette was never contacted by her people again. She seemed quite happy here on Earth. She decided to stay with me, became friends with my mom, showed me how to properly care for a balcony garden… and that’s how a carrot became my roommate.
★★★
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