Cracking sounds bounced off the palace’s golden walls as the God of Love stretched his muscles with a loud yawn. Stiff joints were to be expected after 200 years of hard work.

The God of Love slouched back down in front of his gaming console and stared at Kimiko-chan’s face as she called him a “b-baka” but still agreed to go on a date. Somehow, he always ended up on the tsundere route.

“Enough!” the deity announced to himself as he leapt from his seat. “Time to do something active!”

He put in Final Fantasia VII and sat back down.

A thundering voice interrupted the opening theme as his home’s large golden doors flew open. He really hated that locks didn’t exist in Heaven. “God of Love!”

That unfortunate voice had him rolling his eyes as he smashed his controller to skip the game intro.

“I have some news that may finally get you off your hindquarters.”

“Unlikely, but hit me.”

The God of Marriage raised a bushy grey eyebrow, annoyed by his colleague’s strange and improper language. “The divorce rates are going up. I’m letting every God in the division of Family and Relationships know.”

“LOL. Sounds like we need a God of Counselling.” The God of Love snorted as he dug his pinky into his ear.

The more upright deity huffed. “It is your responsibility to give people compatible matches and opportunities to meet those ma― ….What are you doing?”

“Playing FiFaVII.”

The long nose of the mature god scrunched in distaste. “You're obsessed with human trifles. I would think you'd be more concerned about human lives.”

“It's not like I'm slacking off.” The God of Love rolled his chair over to his nearby desk and excitedly framed his computer monitor.

“What in Heaven’s name?...” The god’s beard hit the floor in horrified confusion.

“It’s automated! See, these babies were just born.” He tapped the keyboard to highlight another window on the screen. “Now they all have soulmates. Regardless of orientation and gender, everyone has a harem and multiple routes to choose!” He was very proud of his creation and not just because it left him with more time for snacking and gaming.

“What is that monstrosity?!”

“A computer I put my magic into.”

“Where is your familiar?”

“She’s on vacation.” His rabbit assistant was a little too serious as well, but she had shot out of the door with her bags as soon as the God of Love gave her permission.

“The humans are believing less and less in us,” the God of Matrimony explained with fervor. “Their free will is getting stronger, therefore we must keep their faith.”

“Yawn. It's not my fault if they get a Bad End.”

Seeing that the God of Love was beyond hope, the God of Marriage stormed out. The God of Love didn’t flinch as the door slammed closed. But he stayed at his computer a little longer, watching all of the unique people navigate their love lives across the world. Honestly, his job had gotten so boring. He desperately needed some excitement. 

A ding sounded as a notification popped up on the screen. He clicked on the alert to make sure it wasn't a system error and ended up rolling his eyes. It was just another human yelling at him again. The human's love satisfaction was at a level zero, yikes. He'd have to fix this manually.

The God of Love lifted his fist then slammed it onto the monitor. That should at least increase the human's level by ten. But nothing happened. What was wrong with this person? The God of Love entered the human's profile to check their data, such as orientation and relationships. Upon seeing a five letter word, he squeezed his eyes shut to reset his vision. But when he opened them again, the large letters did not change: ERROR