What are good omens? A sparrow chasing a crow? A white crane crossing your path? The watercolor-blue shadows striping the charcoal asphalt? I think everything is; every part of the day is a good thing, because God made it. The way the trees look after a curve in the road, how the sky is perfectly painted with bright blue and white clouds. The way my hands can feel the road and the car purr and growl. I’m glad I was able to live in the moment today, and appreciate being alive, float through the day with no concern of what’s ahead and what I’m leaving behind, all because I went out to drive.
Not all my thoughts were as vibrant as the sunny roadside grass. While the world outside my windshield is glossy and pigmented like a well-made painting, my brain was looking through an album of amateur pictures; Pictures of drive-by views after days at the park, band practice, friend’s houses, and school. Each curve was a snapshot into my childhood. Everything in town looked the same: the sky, the trees, the buildings. But instead of looking out the window in the back of the car, I’m looking over the steering wheel. I don’t know if I’m ready to drive past my kid days yet. I’d like to drive by more slowly, but I’ve already gotten up to speed, and slowing down would only hurt my neck and get me a ticket. I hope what’s ahead of me is better than what I’m seeing now. I hope I become a good adult.
Some time has passed, but I’m still at the wheel. Instead of my grandfather coaching me, guiding me through the safe, cozy and green roads of Bristol, I’ve got to push through Miami traffic on my own with my mom in the passenger seat. I’ve come to realize that what I hoped wouldn’t happen too soon is already here. I’m responsible for my day, my activities, what I think, and who I talk to. I realized all of this as I sat on my stiff office chair that I can’t look to Mom and Dad for help anymore. I mean, I can, but they can’t rescue me. They can’t make me manage my time in class, deal with people and take me to the park to make new friends. I have to do all of that myself. Although, after thinking more clearly, maybe this won’t be so bad.
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