Light in the Dark
Apr 14, 2016
I've fallen a lot in my life.
Anger's been there for a while, and while it's mostly gone, it still comes around every now and again.
Pride isn't the biggest of problems. I like to think I have it under control, but I'm certain I just don't see it.
That's self-hatred, right there. Second guessing myself. Letting others take control. It started as humility. Now it cripples me.
Desire and addiction are two heads of the same beast. One to lure me in, the other to keep me there.
Fear is mostly small and insignificant. Mostly it just pesters me every now and again, but sometimes, in the dark of night, it asks me questions. Scary questions.
There are more. But I don't want to talk about them.
They all try to hold me down. To pull me into the dark. But I can see the light on the horizon. I've never seen its full brilliance--only a brief and dim flash on a couple occasions--but it's a great light over that horizon. A great, beautiful light.
I might never see that light. Not in this life, anyway. But knowing it's there--knowing it will envelop me in the end--it's enough to keep me going in life.
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There's a constant war going on inside of me. Who will win? The darkness that drags me to the depths? Or the light that promises me salvation?
I don't entirely know, really. But I'm praying for it to be the light.
I don't entirely know, really. But I'm praying for it to be the light.
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