Beatrice was brewing the last of her tea and listening to some hard rock that afternoon. She had time off from both workplaces for once and she had spent all day enjoying with Lisha by cuddling on the couch while they watched cheesy movies.

Lisha had gone to the store to buy some things that Beatrice needed for their dinner together, leaving Beatrice to wait around. Lisha was taking longer than she expected though. Shouldn’t she be back already? Then she heard the familiar sound of her wife parading through the door.

“Baaaaabe, guess who’s back?!” Lisha boomed.

“Good, now get me my tea and chips and-”

“Babe, did you know they sell kids where you come from?” Lisha asked enthusiastically.

“Huh.” Beatrice said, confused and scratching her head. She didn’t really know what that had to do with their cuddle day. “Could’ve sworn that was abolished before my time.”

“It was fancy and labeled ‘Orphanage’. It was super cool!”

“Babe… where’s this going?” Bea asked with narrowed eyes. Fluffy slithered around Lisha’s foot, but quickly retreated to Beatrice and wrapped around her arm.

“Look!” she said, unable to contain her excitement.

Lisha stepped out of the way to reveal a little girl, about 10,  wearing a small black dress. Her skin was dark and her hair was frizzy, like it hadn’t been properly brushed in a few weeks. But she had these dark green eyes that demanded the attention of onlookers. She was a pretty skinny kid, but she assumed that was because of being in an orphanage for who knows how long. She wasn’t winning any sympathy from Beatrice either way though.

“Babe.” Beatrice said, inhaling sharply. “I asked you to go get tea, bread, and chips.”

“But it was a good deal!”

“You adopted a child.” Beatrice said. She looked through the bag of groceries and was fuming. “And you didn’t even get me my salt and vinegar chips!”

“What do you want me to do?” Lisha asked, defeated.

“Return it.” Beatrice said heartlessly.

“I can’t.” she said, head bowed.

“Why?”

“They didn’t give me a receipt.” Beatrice felt something tug at her pants, and she looked down to see the girl.

“Are you my new mommy?” she asked.

“No.” she said coldly. “I’m the new monster under your bed.” The girl whimpered and backed away. Fluffy nudged her, but she ignored him.

“Beatrice!” Lisha scolded. “How could you say that to the child under our roof now? To our child!”

“To your child.” Bea countered with disdain. “I didn't ask for you to pick up a child. I asked for chips and bread. I don’t know how you confuse them, but I didn’t ask for that hellspawn.” She paused for a second. “Screw it, you get what I mean.”

Beatrice marched away, still disturbed, confused, scared, and speechless that Lisha actually brought home a kid. She slammed her bedroom door and sat on the bed, head in her hands. She could barely keep her relationship with Lisha together. How would she ever be expected to make a relationship with a kid?! And Lisha never even asked her about it first!

“Hey, babe…?” Lisha said, hesitantly entering. “Are you… alright?” Beatrice was frantically petting Fluffy, but looked up with a flash of anger.

“NO I’M NOT-” Beatrice caught herself and breathed deep, calming breaths. “Babe, I’m not ready for this. I’m not ready to be responsible for a kid.”

“Listen, baby, she was so sad.” Lisha said, looking like she was going to burst into tears. “Kids were trying to kick her and she was crying and… I couldn't help it. I take full responsibility and everything for her, but… work with me. I don’t wanna return her; she was so happy when I said she’d have a new home. I’ll do the heavy lifting, but I just need you to do one thing.”

“What’s that?”

“Make her feel welcome. Let her into the family.”

“Babe… I-”

“Please?” Lisha pleaded. “Just let her feel what she deserves to feel like. A loved kid.”

“Fine.” Beatrice said. “I’ll give her a chance, alright?”

“That’s all I want!” Lisha cheered, throwing her arms around Beatrice.

“Yeah, yeah.” Bea laughed. “I wanna spend the rest of the night on that couch with you though, alright?”

“At least give the girl a room and put her to bed first.” she said firmly.

“Fine.” Bea agreed. “Let’s just do this for tonight, then we can talk about it in the morning.”

“If that’s what you want, babe.” Lisha agreed.

Beatrice and Lisha came back out to find the girl patently sitting in a chair, rocking herself back and forth. Lisha nudged Bea forward with her horns and she reluctantly approached the girl.

“You wanna sleep in a bed tonight?” Beatrice asked callously. 

The girl just nodded her head and got up. Beatrice walked down the halls, hands in her pockets, and was followed closely by the girl. They stopped at a door, which Bea opened to reveal a guest bedroom for her to sleep in.

“You sleep here.” Beatrice said harshly. The girl didn’t exactly feel welcome.

“I’ll take it from here.” laughed Lisha nervously.

Lisha held out her hand to the girl, and she hesitantly took it. They walked into the bedroom together and closed the door behind them. Curious, Beatrice put her ear up to the door. Fluffy put his chin up against the door, as if he was trying to listen in as well. The two were talking.

“You said she could be my new mommy though…” the girl mumbled.

“And she is.” Lisha said softly. “She just isn’t good with people.”

“If she’s my mommy, what are you?”

“I’m… the cool mommy.” Lisha said with a smile. She kissed the girl on the forehead, turned her lights out, and headed towards the door.

“Are there really monsters under my bed?” the girl suddenly asked fearfully.

“No monsters here honey,” Lisha said in a comforting voice. “Just confused angels. Our room is at the end of the hall if you need us.”

Without any more explanation, Lisha quickly and quietly exited the room, closing the door without a sound. Bea was waiting for her in the hallway, arms folded.

“Come on, you always look better with a smile.” Lisha insisted, pointing to the corners of her mouth.

“Smiles are for wives who don’t bring home a child out of the blue and insist that we’re her mothers.” Beatrice judged.

“Hey, what did I say?”

“I know, it’s just… ugh.”

“Come on, it’s cuddle night!” Lisha cheered. “Let’s cuddle!” Lisha swept Beatrice off her feet and carried her all the way down a set of stairs and to the couch.

When their cuddle session was over, Lisha had to leave late that night to take care of some business. Beatrice could never figure out why Lisha insisted it had to happen at night. Forbid that Lisha’s job cut into her cheese-eating hours.

Beatrice was awoken from her dream and saw the door open to her bedroom, letting in a sliver of light right into her emerald eyes. At the doorway stood the girl Lisha brought home.

“I couldn’t sleep.” she said, trembling. “It’s scary here…”

“Not my problem.” Bea said, turning over.

“Can I… sleep with you?” she asked. Bea groaned, but remembered what Lisha said about letting the kid into the family, even if it was just for one night.

“Fine.” she said between gritted teeth and tired sighs. She was lucky that Lisha was out tonight, or there wouldn’t have been any room. She closed the door and crawled into the bed, huddling under the blanket and scooting towards Beatrice.

“Why do you guys live in a castle?” the girl asked.

“Because we’re both queens.” Beatrice said.

“Of where?”

“Hell.” That shut the girl up. Beatrice forced herself to turn around and look the girl in the eyes. “What’s your name?” she asked in curiosity.

“I don’t have a real name.” she whispered. “Everyone just calls me ‘alley cat’.”

“I gotta call you something.” Beatrice said, thinking. “How about… Lizzy? That’s a good name if I heard one.” The girl perked up and looked like she was given a gift on Christmas.

“I… love it.” Lizzy said, starstruck.

“Good, because it’s the only name you’re gonna get.” Beatrice grumbled. Even that comment couldn’t put her mood down though. “Now go to sleep. I gotta get my beauty sleep, and you could learn a thing or two about it.”

Beatrice turned over, and grabbed her sleeping mask and pulled it down. Behind her, she could hear Lizzy giving off sounds of eager excitement at her new name, and whatever else could come from her new home.

“If you’re queens, am I a princess?” she asked.

“You’re-” Beatrice bit her tongue to avoid saying something mean. “For one night. Just for tonight, you’re a princess.”

“Adopted and a princess in one night.” Lizzy said in pure joy. “This has got to be the best day of my life.”

“Yeah, well don’t get used to it. Life’s got a funny way of making sure these ‘best days’ only last once.”

Lizzy went to get closer to Beatrice and Fluffy crawled over her. She wanted to scream, but only stifled out a small yelp. Fluffy crawled around and let himself be a sort of pillow for her. Lizzy scooted closer to Beatrice and hesitated for a second before clinging onto her and hugging her from behind.

Beatrice was about to turn around and resort to violence, but kept reminding herself that this was only for one night. There was no way Lisha was going to win an argument about this against her, so the girl would be gone before tomorrow night.

So Beatrice just sucked it up and went to sleep with a child wrapped around herself. This is why children never interested her.