James’ POV

My lips pressed against Dev’s and in the moment the world was perfect. I loved moments like this. When it was just me and him and the rest of the world could go to hell because they didn’t matter. 

A sigh left my lips as I sank farther into the bed below me. Dev swallowed the sound as he pushed the two of us impossibly closer. My hands tangled in his hair as his roamed my body gently as if I’d break if he applied even the barest amount of pressure. 

His teeth scraped across my lip as he sucked it into his mouth and pulled it until we were separated, a clear smile on his face as he pressed our foreheads together. My heart beats wildly out of my chest as I stare up at him, hoping the look on my face can convey the amount of love that thrums through my body. 

I must have been successful because not long after he pulls back just far enough to pull my shirt over my head and threw it to the side. He didn’t give me a second to respond before his lips attached to my chest, leaving bites, nips, and kisses in his wake; trailing every inch of exposed skin he could reach.

I loved moments like these. Moments when it was just me and Dev and nothing else mattered. Moments when we shared the same heartbeat, the same heat, the same breath. Moments when we all but shared the same thoughts. I lived for moments like this. 

The love of my boyfriend was the only thing that I needed. More than a home, more than parents who cared; as long as I had Dev I didn’t need anything else. 

I tried to remember that when the banging on the door became to loud to ignore. The walls rattled at the force and the yelling on the other side bounced off of every wall in the small apartment. 

“Focus on me,” Dev whispered, his lips brushing against mine as he pushed a strand of hair out of my eyes. I tried to smile up at him but it falters when the door is slammed open. The hinges are ripped out of the wall and fall to the ground as the door follows its lead, landing on the floor inches away from my bed. 

For a while, we all stare at each other. I look at my father, he stares at Dev, Dev stares at me with worry deep in his eyes; clearly debating what to do next. 

“What in the hell do you think you’re doing?” The words come out angry but his expression is far too calm for my liking. He glares but his posture is too relaxed, as if he were simply staring at a mess I had made without cleaning it up. 

When neither of us answers he steps farther into the room. This is what makes Dev get off of my stomach, standing between me and my father. 

“I asked you a goddamn question,” he seethed out as he stood chest to chest with Dev. His eyes never left my boyfriend as he stared him down eye to eye. “What in god’s name are you doing?”

“We weren’t doing anything,” Dev spoke, his voice as calm as always even as he stared death in the face. 

His words only made the anger worse. Neither of them had time to blink before my father’s fist connected with Dev’s cheek. Despite his smaller frame, the punch was strong enough to knock him to the floor. 

I was off the bed before I had a chance to think anything through. My hands connected with my father’s shoulders as I pushed him as far from my boyfriend as I physically could. 

“Do that again and I swear you’ll wake up in hell,” I seethed as best I could, trying to hide the fear that coursed through my body. 

“What’s a faggot like you going to be able to do,” he laughed mockingly, stepping back to his original place as if daring me to try again. “I knew something was wrong with you from the start but I never thought you were a cocksucker. Get that faggot out of my house. He’s kind is not welcome here.”

“ ‘My kind’,” Dev asked as he moved to stand at my side again, clearly getting ready to do something but my hand on his shoulder was enough to make him falter.

“Dev go home,” I said as calmly as I could. My heart was still beating out of my chest and my nerves ran ramped in my body. The only thought in my brain was ‘keep Dev safe’. I could handle my dad; I’ve done it long enough, it was normal at this point, just one more chore to add to the already too long list. Dev had decent parents, and a decent life, he wasn’t used to this the way I was. He couldn’t get hurt anymore because of this. I wouldn’t allow it. 

“I’m not just going to go home James,” he said barely above a whisper, the sound sending shivers down my spine making me want nothing more than for him to take me back to bed and spend the rest of our lives there. “I won’t leave you here alone with him.”

“Leave Devon. I don’t want you here. I never wanted you here. You’re nothing but a plaything. Go home and forget about this.” My voice was confident but I knew my eyes were filling with tears slowly. 

Hurt crossed his face for a split second but indifference covered it instead. 

He didn’t bother to say another word as he passed both of us and all but slammed the front door behind him. The second he was gone my nerves eased but that didn’t help the fear as I stared at the man who’s life goal seemed to be tormenting me. 

“You let a faggot into this house,” he asked even though we both already knew the answer considering we were both caught red handed. 

“I don’t remember doing that,” I said sarcastically, attempting to mask the way my hands shook. “Perhaps you have me confused with another man? Did you bring a faggot in here? Going against your own rules; what kind of man are you? To be stooping so low as let another man up your ass. That’s pretty low even for “

I didn’t get a chance to finish my sentence. 

A harsh fist came in contact with my temple and I dropped like a box of rocks. Black dots covered my vision as I tried to blink them away as his hand came to grab my neck harshly and before I could manage to right myself I was being pushed back against the wall, my feet dangled helpless under me as a crushing pressure wrapped around my neck. 

Breathing because a task as I stared the hateful man in the face, nothing but disgust filled his eyes. 

“I don’t know where I went wrong with you but no son of mine is going to act like that.”

“At least you admit that’s your fault,” I managed to squeeze out with the hand wrapped around my windpipe as a smirk slowly spread across my face. A backhand to the face quickly wiped away any smugness that it held. 

I could fill the blood piling up in my mouthing my body acted before I had a chance to stop myself. 

I watched in our horror as my blood filled spit covered my father’s already red face. I had no time to attempt to struggle free before the hand on my neck tightened and the black dots filled my vision again as another harsh punch nailed me directly in the temple. 

This time the hit didn’t stop with only one. I could do nothing but dangle in my father’s grip as hit after hit pounding into the side of my head. 

The pain was awful and I blacked out for god knows how long before I came to on the floor of my bedroom; the broken door laying beside me. I watched my father staring at me from the doorway, a cigarette between his lips as he took a long drag before blowing the smoke down onto my face. I could faintly see my mother sitting on the couch, her back facing me as if she couldn’t stand to watch. 

“No faggot is going to live in my house,” he said boredly as if he was talking about the weather. “I don’t want to see you around here again. Not in this house, not in this neighborhood, not in the city. I let you off easy this time pansy but if I see you again you better run before I can catch you or I’ll send you to hell where you belong. Leave before I chase you out.”

My throat still throbbed in pain yet I called out to my mother. She was never the best parent but she could typically reign in my father’s moods. 

“Mom. Are you going to let him do that? I’m your fucking son. You can’t let him do that!” She flinches at the tone but past that doesn’t react to my words at all, as if she’s already decided I won’t be there for much longer and can begin to act accordingly. 

“Living people can’t hear dead men walking,” my father said as he took a threatening step towards me. I hated the way I sprang away from him, especially when the satisfied look crossed his face. “Get the hell out of here. Your kind isn’t welcome here.”

I didn’t wait for any more warnings as I forced myself to heave off the cold floor. I didn’t wait for his permission either as I rushed to my closet, grabbing as many clothes as I could in one trip as I could before piling them in the duffle bag I had hidden away in the back of the closet for days I went to Dev’s house. He didn’t bother stopping me as I attempted to stuff as many of my things in the small bag as possible until it was time for me to try and leave the room to get to the front door. 

He stood there, unmoving from the door as he stared down at me. When I tried to move around him he only moved to be farther in the way. 

“People leave through the front door. Faggots don’t get that privilege. You won’t filth my house up any more than you have to.”

“How else do you expect me to leave,” I asked, trying my best to keep the irritation out of my voice. 

“How else do you think? Out the damn window fucking idiot.”

“You can’t be serious,” I asked with a sigh. My body hurt and we lived on the second floor. The shocks that would shoot through my body would be agonizing. 

“Does it look like I’m joking?”

It did in fact not look that way. 

In that moment I longed to start the day over again. To convince Dev to just let us go to his house instead. Hell at this point I’d settle for not agreeing to see him today; pushing our date night back just one more day. 

My body sagged as I made my way over to the window. I don’t bother looking back at him, I’d rather not see the smug look that was no doubt covering his face. So with one last sigh, I climbed through the window and left that awful house behind. 

Last updated July 16, 2023