Sierra sat next to Tara long after the people had left the small memorial that she'd held at the house. They had been sitting in a comfortable silence for the past twenty minutes, staring at the picture of Jonas that was nestled near the fireplace. It was strange to know that he would only be a memory now, how finite life was...a circle of beginnings and ends.
"Well I should probably get to cleaning up this mess..." Tara remarked as she pushed up off the couch.
"I'll help you." Sierra had a little more trouble getting herself off the couch, her belly had grown over the past six months. Tasks that had been no issue before, seemed much more complicated.
Tara reached out a hand, a soft smile on her lips as she helped her up, "You know you've always been beautiful. I always thought that when I saw pictures of you and Jonas together. However, Motherhood truly becomes you and I'm sure Jonas would have have said so if he was here."
"I've never seen a man so infatuated with a woman. It was inspiring the way you lifted his spirits when you came by to see him a couple of months ago." Her soft spoken words hit the chord of her heart.
"I'm sorry if I caused any trouble between you and Jonas. That was never my intention..."
"Oh hush, that's not what I was saying." Tara interrupted, waving her hand. Her eyes full of kindness and honesty as she held Sierra's gaze. She was beginning to see exactly what Jonas had seen in the woman. She was like a gentle breeze, moving people's hearts without force, "I've never questioned your relationship with Jonas. I trusted him and I trusted you. I know what you were to him and I know what I was to him. We both had different roles to play, but he loved us both in our special ways and we loved him. Everything else...well it doesn't rightly matter and frankly it's none of my damn business. Nor is it anyone else's."
Sierra smiled at the surprising crassness of her words, "I suppose not."
A knock on the door broke the moment, "Coming..." Tara moved across the room, opening the door, "Well, hello..." There was something in her tone of voice that had Sierra turning around. She froze at the sight of Scottie standing on the porch.
Tara looked over her shoulder to Sierra, then back to Scottie. She seemed to understand their familiarity with one another, "Well, I think I'll just go put the kettle on." she remarked, giving Sierra a gentle push in Scottie's direction as she passed her.
It hurt to look at him, but she wasn't going to let herself be broken before him, "What are you doing here?"
His chest was heaving as if he had run a marathon, "What do you mean what am I doing here? I've been worried sick about you...calling all of your friends, trying to figure out where you might have run off too. Do you think I could come in?" Sierra had been staying with Tara since Saturday, helping her make all the arrangements for Jonas funeral. It had helped to keep have the company and it kept her busy so that her mind hadn't wandered to the unpleasant places.
Sierra stepped back, allowing room for him to enter. He crowded in on her space, his closeness causing her stomach to turn to rot. She hated the way she wanted to bring him closer and at the same time push him away, "What did you have to be worried about?" Her voice was cold as she closed the door, "I thought you'd be relieved to have me out of your hair." Sierra put a couple more feet of distance between them.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean? What did I have to worry about? Perhaps the fact that something terrible could have happened to my girlfriend and my unborn child?" His voice rose, a subtle anger stirring in the undercurrent of his words. She could see he was trying hard to control his temper.
"But he might not be yours, right?" She hissed out between her teeth, meeting his perplexed gaze. Those blue eyes that were as deep as the ocean, they had dragged her down until she thought she would drown in everything that was Scottie.
He lifted a hand, pulling off his baseball cap, "What's this all about? Why don't you just be straight forward with me?"
"I overheard you and Andrew talking in your office the other night." Sierra replied much louder than she had intended but she was so hurt at the moment it was hard to contain her emotions. She lowered herself onto the couch, feeling drained, "I heard it all..." Her voice softer now.
"That's it? That's why you never came back to the apartment?" Scottie's question came out in gentle whisper. Sierra gave a slight nod of her head but didn't lift her gaze to look at him.
"Well, If you would have stayed a little longer than you would have heard the rest of what I said, Sierra." Scottie knelt down in front of her, looking completely undone as he grabbed her hand in his. His grip was firm as if he was afraid she would slip through his fingers, "I said I'd do the test, because I wanted people to be quiet. I wanted you to have proof to silence those who doubted your words, but I've never once doubted them. I know that this is my son you're carrying." The lump in her throat grew as tears filled her eyes.
"And if we did the test and by some weird turn of events find out that the baby wasn't mine...I need you to know that wouldn't change a thing for me."
"You say that now, but you don't know..."
"Yes I do know, Sierra. I know because I love you." She felt her breath catch at his declaration. Scottie seemed to know he had taken her by surprise, giving her hands a gentle squeeze, "I promise that I will be a good father to your baby and he will be my son to me, blood or not. That is not what makes someone family. And I want very much for us to be a family, Sierra."
A lot had happened and a lot had changed, but Sierra was certain of one thing in this moment, "I love you, Scottie. I love you so much that it hurts me." Tears rolled down her cheeks, "I'm afraid...I'm afraid to be with you, to be close to you...what if I lose you? What if you change your mind? I don't..." Her doubts were silenced by the heated pressure of his lips on hers.
He broke away after a minute, both of them breathing heavy, "I'm afraid too, but all we have is right now. We both love each other and that's the most important thing. We don't have to let our fears or doubts keep us from the things we desperately want. And I want you, Sierra Palmer. Desperately. I always have."
She found her lips curling up into a soft smile, even as the tears continued to roll down her cheeks. Oh, the bittersweet symphony of life.
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