She couldn't do it anymore.
Some people didn't want to change no matter how much you wished them to change. Sometimes you had to recognize when you were sitting around waiting for something to happen that was never going to happen. This was that moment for her.
"Reagan, you're being ridiculous." Chase called after her as she flung herself into the hallway of his apartment building. The walls were stained from years of smokers and the mustard carpet may have very well been white at some point. The place was a real shit hole but she had overlooked that because she loved Chase.
Reagan spun around, arms cradling all of the things of hers that she had been able to fit into them and somethings she hadn't, "No, I'm not. What's ridiculous is that after five years of being together you still clam up at the conversation of us living together. I spend almost every night here, Chase. So I don't see what the big deal is." She tried to ignore the hard lines of his body that she had memorized like the back of her hand as he came into view.
He pulled his shirt on over his head quickly, stepping into the hallway after her, "Look, I know I could have reacted better...I just wasn't expecting you to spring the conversation me like that. Come on, baby...let's go back inside and talk about this." His blue eyes roamed the length of the hallway as if he was anxious of gathering a crowd. She knew how much he hated when she caused scene's but this was the one time she didn't give a damn about how he felt.
"No, because it won't change anything. You'll say the same shit you always do, I'll pretend to drop the topic, and we'll end up in your bed. I can't do this anymore, Chase." Reagan felt trapped between the desire to cry her eyes out and pummel her boyfriend for being such an idiot. She had plans for her life, being married by thirty was one of them and at the rate things were going that was never going to happen. If she couldn't even get Chase to be comfortable with them living together full-time, how was she going to get him to commit to her for the rest of his life? This relationship was becoming a drain on her emotions and life the longer she tried to hold onto it and him.
Chase took a half-step forward, brows drawn together as he frowned at her, "Baby, please let's just talk about this, okay? I know you're upset but that's no reason to do anything drastic. I love you, Reagan. I want to be with you, you know that." His voice was soft and cajoling. She had always loved the deep rumble of his voice, it had a melodic sound that put her at ease or drove up her desire. At the moment though, all Reagan felt was her frustration and heartbreak, being forced to look at him was painful.
"Did you ever have any plans to marry me?" She needed to know, this was the make or break moment.
"What?" Chase seemed confused by the question.
Reagan shifted her arms, trying to keep from dropping anything, "I said, Did you ever have any plans to marry me?" The silence that followed her question was all the confirmation she needed to follow through with her current decision. As much as it hurt her heart to know that all the time she had spent with him had amounted to nothing but heartbreak. She shook her head, giving him a flat smile, "That's what I thought."
She turned her back to him, walking away from his apartment for the last time. Five years of her life, five years of memories shared... all of that was done with. This was the right choice. It wasn't fair for him to ask her to stay when he couldn't promise her the future she wanted and it wasn't fair for her to ask him to become someone that he had no desire to be.
"Wait, Reagan..." He called after her, but she ignored him, "Come on, baby. Don't leave like this."
Reagan was thankful when the elevator happened to open as she approached, an older gentleman carrying a armful of groceries stepping out. She moved into the stale smelling death-trap, struggling to press the button for the ground floor. The process became harder as her eyes began to well up with tears of frustration. A whimper of desperation crawled out of her throat just as her finger found the button, pressing it in.
"Reagan, don't go." Chase was suddenly standing before her, keeping the doors from closing. He looked more than a little desperate, eyes wide and chest heaving as he panted.
The sight of him causing a scene like he was more than surprised her. This was a side of Chase that Reagan had never seen before. However, it was too late. She forced herself to turn off her emotions, "Just let me go. We're done here." Her words were cold as was her tone.
"You can't be serious. Are you..." The words seemed to get caught in his throat, "Are you seriously breaking up with me?" Reagan let her calm silence be the same answer that his had been for her. Sometimes silence spoke louder than words.
He stared at her in shock, arms falling to his sides as if he had never fathomed a time when Reagan might actually leave him. It was as if he had believed she would stay with him forever, even though he was happy with their relationship stagnating. It was more heartbreaking to her that in the final moments he showed any signs of growing-up and wanting to fight for what they had. He took a step back as the doors began to close again. The look of utter loss on his face struck a chord in her heart, a couple of tears falling, "Goodbye, Chase."
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