My name is Zeta and I love my Mama, she cares for me and loves me very very much. She makes me feel special, even in the dark world we live in now, even if people like my mother and I will be murdered if we are to be caught. But that’s okay because mother says that our bodies are only temporary, she says that one day, in one way or another, we will descend into heaven where Nana and Grandpapa live in, she told me that it is a beautiful place.

“Mama?” I asked my mother one day, “What happens if the monsters see us?” I ask her as I place my hand on her face, Mama was always watering me, she told me that I am a plant and that she is the watering can, feeding and malnourishing me. But each time I see her water me I want to water too because in her eyes I can see pain. I watched as beads and beads of water form on her eyes, falling onto me one by one, it was like it was raining. “God will save us.” Mama trembled as she held me tighter into her arms, I hold her tighter too. I don’t like seeing Mama cry, I love Mama. My Mama is the most beautiful woman in the world and when I grow up I want to make it a better place, for Mama. “Sleep now, it is late, Zeta.”

I look into Mama’s eyes as I see her eyelids come in contact, Mama is sleeping now. I hug Mama harder and one last time as I look into her closed eyes, through them I can only see pain. I hate it when Mama is sad. Ever since the monsters came into Thetadum, Mama has been sad.

I look then look over to the small, fragile, black trolley containing my infant brother, his name: “Sigma” meaning “save.” Oh brother, you will be saved, I promise you a land where the Zinas have never arrived, I promise you a better life, I promise you safety. We promise you safety. We promise you happiness… just not with us.

I remember back when I was eight years old, we lived in a small apartment along with the others, Nana used to be here with us too. Nana would each night tell me stories about the monsters that go about at night, the “Zina” she called them. She said that they come out at night and break into houses to eat children and take away other nanas, mamas and papas, when she told me about the part where they eat children she widened her eyes and mouth then made a biting movement. I would always laugh at the part because Nana’s wrinkles would always sag low, I loved Nana too. I loved Nana’s wrinkles and deep blue eyes, Mama also had those ocean eyes, their eyes were like mirrors to a new world. Nana was very beautiful, she had very very white skin, almost like snow with lots of wrinkles. Nana told me that wrinkles are a beautiful part of the body, the same way every part of the body was too. Nana told me that she was an ocean, and that her wrinkles were waves forming and calming onto her skin. But Nana didn’t have to tell me that her wrinkles were beautiful because to me, she was already the most beautiful in the world. She always put her hair in a bun with an ash black hair bow, I remember asking her what the black was for, she told me that it was for remembrance of grandpapa. Nana told me that before grandpapa went to heaven that he gave that to her as her last will before he flew.

“What’s a Zina Nana?” “A very very scary monster Zeta, you should never go near or touch it. A Zina eats people, a people eater. Zinas are the spawns of Hell Zina, they wear dark red uniform dyed from the people that they have eaten Zeta. Very, very scary- I saw one myself. They took Grandpapa away from me Zeta oh Zeta! They took him away from me! The ZINA! They shot him in the head Zeta oh Zeta” She sobbed and sobbed as I watched it rain, oh Nana, I miss you so much. “Grandpapa and I were sitting in the living room and I was knitting when the Zina barged through the door speaking gibberish, Oh Zeta I didn’t understand a word but it didn’t matter because when Grandpapa stood up they shot him in the head Zeta! MONSTERS! Monsters Zeta! They are big black creatures, their skin oily and dark as night, with no soil. Wearing a dark green and brown overcoat with a red badge pinned onto the cloth, that symbol on that badge Zeta… that red, black symbol… beware the bent cross Zeta. Beware the Zina.”

“Nana what is heaven like?” I asked her one day, it was a beautiful day, everything always used to be beautiful, not anymore. The Zinas have made everything black and ashy, it’s like I’m always breathing pure black ash, pure black evil- pure black death. When I asked her I saw the waves of the ocean begin to lift, the diamond orbs in her eyes lighting up: “Zeta! Heaven is so beautiful! It’s like a big garden of cloud, with lots of nice flowers blooming here and there, with clowdy chairs just waiting for us to sit on when we one day fly! But most importantly GrandPapa is there.” I watched as the diamond orbs darkened “I miss Grandpapa Zeta, oh Zeta. The love of my life Grandpapa is up there-“ she said as she pointed upwards towards the ceiling, looking at me with a hopeful smile. Through Nana’s wrinkles I can sometimes see a young Jewish woman, with her dark brown silky hair tied into a bun, I can see her being in a place where she was happier. I love Nana, “Waiting for all of us to go there with him” she croaked as her slow, wise and meaningful voice cracked every now and again. Each time Nana talked about heaven Mama used to always barge into the room slowly with her soft, young voice would say “Enough of that Nana, don’t scare poor Zeta about Heaven!” she would say “Your Mama is mad!” Nana would cheekily say as she giggled lightly. I loved the sound of her old wise laugh, each time she did I imagined Grandpapa waiting there with his old, withered ocean blue eyes laughing too with Nana. Nana would then slowly walk back to her room, with her long hard wooden cane, stamping the oak floor as she made her way to her cul-de-sac.