Cyrus

“Victoria! Vic- Victor- Victoria...” I wailed, curling up in the mass silence. All my screams choked in my throat, making no sound. It hurt. Everything hurt. The world was dark. Black. I was alone in the dark.

“How could you dare go near her?” My own voice hissed at me. “You can’t even properly die what makes you think you’re any good for her?” ‘He’ demanded. I felt a thunk, and my body ached in waves all over again.

I wailed out and screamed, hoping that one of them might get through, might make a sound. Any sound except those horrible voices that whispered in my ears. Many of them disdain, other’s wails of failure. I didn’t even care anymore. I just wanted Vic. Or I wanted out. I wanted to hear my own thoughts again or die and never have to hear these voices. I wanted Vic’s smile and to hear her voice one last time.

I couldn’t tell what direction I was moving. I honestly couldn’t tell whether I was moving at all. “VIch tohr hiaaa...” I tried to sound out her name. I felt yet another thunk, and yet another wave of pain. I felt liquid run down my skin, but I didn’t know from where. I ‘slumped’ over, crying exhausted tears as I tried to speak out once more.

It was all for not when the voices tuned out, and the ever so welcome tides of sleep dragged me into a familiar darkness.

I woke up. It was still dark. It felt darker than before. I looked around, it was impossible to tell if this was all inside my head or not. A strange thought crossed inside my head. Was I dead? Was this hell? Or some limbo in between? The space felt larger now, like it went on forever in endless nothingness.

I ‘stood up’, unsure as to whether the action was in my head or not. I looked down, and saw that at the very least I could make out my own features. My mech arm was gone. It was horrid, standing on nothing. I turned in a slow circle searching for anything.

I started walking, wrapping my arm around my stomach as I felt myself moving. I couldn’t even tell whether I was going up or down at this point. I squinted at a point ahead of me, and I swore I could actually see a wooden door. I began running towards it, my feet slamming against the solid nothingness below me.

I nearly fell over when I got to it, and I looked on either sides. It wasn’t attached to anything at all. It was just- Floating. Like me. My gaze fell onto the door knob in irony, tempted to turn it. What good would it do? I reached forward and turned it when the thought,what harm could be done entered my mind.

The minute I opened the door I was blinded by a bright white light. I squinted, unused to anything, much less light in the hell hole. I took a tentative step forward and fell swirling down. I screamed and looked around, the area around me was blue, and I realized I was in the sky. I fell past clouds and looked down, my eyes widening as the city streets below came rushing towards me. I hit the ground, not making any sound despite the pain it had sent throughout me. I took in a breath, too shocked to do anything else. I stood up slowly and looked around, it was Kalvington. No it wasn’t just Kalvington, it was Kalvington from when I was a kid! I could tell from the fact that Lentorum Hall had been burnt to the ground at the time, and reconstruction of it had clearly only just begun. The crazy old man Yorling was still shouting nonsense in front of the ashes instead of being dead, so I suppose that helped my guess as well.

That’s when I heard him. Or rather me.

“Shu’ up ye old geiser!” The younger version of me shouted at Yorling. “We don’ bloody care whether you think you wanna be king, I’ll bloody kill myself befur I le’ tha’ happen!” ‘I’ had been shouting at him, waving both of my very fleshy arms around.

Yorling started cursing at me and started towards me, his hands clenched in fists. The younger me just laughed and danced out of his reach, racing away to the street I was on. Young Cyrus turned around and stuck his tongue at him, showing him a not so nice hand gesture as he ran past me. He didn’t notice me, racing down the street past startled and disgruntled people milling the streets.

My mind urged me to follow him, shouting at me to move my feet and follow myself. So I did. I ran, no one seemed to be able to see me, or if they did they didn't notice. It wasn't hard to keep up with my younger self’s short legs. My thoughts were numb, unable to comprehend what was happening. He looked so… well young. He was so much different than the me now. He had both his arms for starters. His hair was long and matted, having never been washed or cut. He wore a oversized dirty cream shirt that was stained and brown pants. His shoes were wore down at the sole and were much too big for him- Er.. for me?

“No no no no no!” I heard a horribly familiar voice screech. Both Cyrus Mini and I turned our heads, my movements too urgent. “Mama no!” The voice cried out, high pitched and cracking. Mini Cyrus and I both jumped to our feet, turning the corner into the alley way. The only difference between him and I is that I knew who was screaming.

There she was, Victoria. Or at least, a very tiny Victoria. Do you know the feeling that you get when you read the end of a book? The feeling that it's just not complete yet. That there is more to be said. Looking at Victoria felt like that. She wasn't Victoria.

She was only three years old, and her purple hair had still been long. She was dragging her tiny, clumpy, shoes behind her, her face red and covered in tears. She was kicking and thrashing, her hands being clenched by two very tired, very annoyed adults. Her mother had the same purple hair as her, and her father had brown hair. They both had a snarl on their faces as they looked down at Vic.

They tore their hands out of her’s, the woman crouching down in front of her. “Shut up!” She hissed at her. Little Victoria continued to sob, and outstretched her arms as she tried to hug her mother.

“Mama noo!” She wailed, and the woman shoved her away. Little me watched in horror as a loud slap could be heard, and Victoria fell to the muddy ground. Her hand to her cheek as she looked up in hurt sadness. “Papa! Mama!” She said, getting to her wobbly knees as she grabbed onto the man’s pant leg.

Little Cyrus winced once more when he saw the man kick her away. “HEY!” He shouted in anger, stomping towards the two adults. “THE BLOODY ‘ELL DO YE THINK YER DOIN’?!” He demanded, pulling up sleeves that only fell back down as he made his way over.

The two adults looked up in almost scared surprise until they realized he was a child. The small Victoria was still sobbing on the muddy ground, clutching her stomach as she wept. “Piss off child.” The man warned. “We’re just taking out the trash.”

“Trash? Tha’s a li’l girl ye bastard!” Cyrus mini spat at him. “Yer li’l girl by the looks of i’!”

“Not anymore!” The woman called out. Cyrus looked at them in disgust.

“You’re gonna leave her to die jus’ cause ya weren’ smar’ enough to pull ou’?” He taunted, standing his ground in front of them. The couple sneered, getting more annoyed with him then before.

“She costs too much! And she can’t even do her damn job right.” The man said, as if she were some animal instead of their daughter. I watched in sadness as Tiny Cyrus watched in anger. For him at the moment, his concern was the horrid parents. I looked down at Victoria, and at the moment knew mine was her.

“The bloody ‘ell do you mean ‘er ‘job’, she’s practically a baby!” He said, crinkling his nose.

“Whatever, she’s not our problem anymore.” The adults said, shoving tiny Cyrus to the side as they made their way out of the alley. He stood there in mad surprise. He turned around to yell at them some more only to realize they were too far.

“You- YOU BLOODY SONS OF BACHELOR’S!” He spat, cursing some more afterwards as he threw a fallen brick at them. He stood there shaking in fury when the little Vic’s continued sobs caught his attention.

“Are ye okay?” Lil’ Cyrus asked, crouching down in front of the crying heap in front of him.

Victoria sniffled and looked up at Cyrus with big eyes. “Who are you?”

Cyrus straightened up and placed his hands on his hips. “I’m Cyrus O!” He declared proudly.

“O?” Victoria sniffled, her hand still covering her bruised eye.

“It stands for Orphan! ‘Cus thats what I am!” He grinned. “You are too now!”

She stood up suddenly, her tearful face suddenly fierce. “I am not! I have parents!” She yelled, her tiny hands clenched in fists. “They will come back. They always do. They need me.”

“They don't need you! Why would they come back?” Cyrus asked, his impertinence clear.

“I can get place! I have small hands that can slip into people’s pockets. That’s what Papa always said.” She replied sternly.

“Do you want to go back to them?” Cyrus asked her, his tone softer.

Victoria stopped for a moment. She looked up at Cyrus’s face. “Where else would I go?” She asked curiously, wiping away at some of the tears on her face.

“You could come with me!” Cyrus smiled brightly, holding out his hand. “Come join me on my rag tag adventure through England! We could start a circus!” I had forgotten my aspirations at the time.

Victoria hesitated, looking back over her shoulder to where her parents had left to. She tentatively took Cyrus’s hand.

“So what's your name?” Cyrus asked as they walked out the alley hand in hand.

Victoria thought for a moment. “Victoria. Victoria O.” She said decisively.

The moment froze like it was a picture. A snapshot of a moment in time. The young Cyrus turned to me, slipping his hand out of Victoria’s he walked up to me, seeming to see me for the first time. He didn't seem too confused, much the opposite, he seemed like he knew I would be there all along.

“Wha’ are ye doing here?” He asked, his face devoid of emotion. I thought for a moment before looking down at him decisively.

“Looking for Victoria.” I replied bluntly. He blinked in return.

“Why?” He asked.

“Because…” I trailed off. “She’s my sister.”

“Is she?” He asked. I furrowed my eyebrows.

“What does that have to do with anything?” He blinked again.

“Iunno, wha’ does it ‘ave to do with anything?” He asked. I crinkled my nose.

“You protec’ family. Ye stay with ‘em no matter what.” I replied.

“Do you?” He questioned, and I was starting to get irritated.

“Yes, now how do I find Victoria?” I snapped at him, not wanting to deal with these questions of his.

“You look around.” He said, walking right through me as Victoria went to join him. They disappeared in a poof of smoke, and I was left breathless at the feeling of literally being walked through.

My surroundings began to swirl into a whirlpool that sucked out the scene and everything in it, leaving me in pure white. I looked around, and to my dissatisfaction, found only another floating door. I grumbled and stalked towards it throwing the door open. This time was much less painful. I walked through the door onto a busy street. Motorized vehicles clanked their way down the street, sending smoke and the loud honking and rumbling of engine noise into the polluted air. I coughed as I walked straight into the thick black cloud of smoke blown towards me. The door I had went through to get here disappeared, leaving me no exit until I found whatever it was it wanted me to find.

It was raining, the clouded sky cast shadows over the buildings and forced the already small cramped street to feel smaller. I searched around until I saw the familiar faces I was looking for. Young Cyrus and Victoria were shuffling around in the crowd, their hands clasped together. Victoria looked to be a year older than she was when I went through the last door. They turned and wandered into an alley. I followed them, passing through the people. It felt disconcerting, being able to walk through people, and them walk through me. I followed myself and Victoria into the alley where Cyrus was giving her a lesson on thievery.

“Now to be a good thief you can' let them notice ye.” Cyrus lectured, Victoria looked bored.

“I use to be a thief I know this already!” She groaned.

Cyrus tutted, “Do you know how to pick a lock, using your toes?!” He added enforcement by sticking his face inches from hers.

She grumbled out a no and flushed, turning her head away in annoyance. Cyrus nodded and went back to his lesson. “Now, here’s the plan. You will distract them while I steal their wallet. Once I give the okay run to our meeting place two buildings down okay?”

She pouted. “No fair! I'm always the distraction!”

“Too bad! I'm older so I make the rules.” I stuck my nose in the air and she huffed.

They hurried out of the alley and Victoria immediately latched onto her target. She feigned bumping into him and fell over slightly over dramatically. The man stopped and crouched down over her.

“Oh my! Are you alright?” He exclaimed, helping her stand up.

“Sorry mista’” She apologized. “I didn't mean to I promise! My foot hurts real bad when I walk on it. Makes me trip all the time.”

He looked genuinely concerned. I felt bad watching Younger Cyrus rob him blind. Cyrus had crept up behind him and was attempting to slip his hand down the man's pocket.

“Oh dear. May I see it dear?” The gentleman asked Victoria. She sat down and pulled up her skirt, showing him her foot and ankle. “Now where does it hurt?” He lifted her foot and felt along it until she let out a wince.

Meanwhile Cyrus had his fingers around the man's wallet, he braced himself to pull it out as inconspicuously as possible. Victoria and the man were still talking and Cyrus had gotten half of it out. That's when his hand slipped. The wallet stuck half in- half out as Cyrus fell against the man's back. He turned around, feeling the wallet out of place. He spotted Cyrus and a mixture of shock and fury materialized on his face!

“YOU LYING CHILDREN!” He roared as Cyrus and Victoria raced away. “HOW DARE YOU! I WAS HELPING YOU!”

They stopped two blocks away, both breathing heavily. Cyrus flopped down on the ground and took a deep breath. “Sorry for messing up.”

Vic paused between her gasps to reply. “It's alright. I could have done it without him noticing though.” They bickered back and forth but eventually agreed to disagree.

The frame froze and I waited patiently for Cyrus to start questioning me like he did before. Instead it was Victoria who stood up and started towards me. Her face resolve of emotion. It was almost scary how people's faces looked when they had no life in them.

“Why are you here?” She asked, her voice just like I remembered from when she was young.

“To find Victoria. My Victoria.” I repeated what I had said to the first zeitgeist I had talked to.

“Why did you keep me with you?” She cocked her head to the side.

“What?”