After coming back from the so-called celebration that Kate had arranged for all of us, I had gone home and tried to sleep, because I was quite exhausted of the night’s events. I mean life, had just been completely spiralling out of control. For once, I wanted a nice quite celebration without any unexpected surprises. But like they all say: “You don’t always get, what you want.” Well now, I believe it.

Since I came home, I have been receiving texts from my friends, asking me if I was all right and I wanted to tell them just how fantastic I was doing. The irony in my statement is fantastic, I tell you. But still, I was glad to have friends who cared about me a lot, and made me feel special. And it was supposed to be a celebration whether it was inappropriate fun, or not. But still, feeling so ashamed didn’t make me feel any lighter, than I was feeling before. Hence, the bad mood.

Pushing away these bad thoughts, I decided to go to bed. But before that, I had to had some dinner, as a club (especially a male escort club) wasn’t going to provide dinner. Opening the fridge, I saw that I didn’t have much food to go on with, judging from the fact that it could have only lasted me tomorrow, or the day after tomorrow.

And since I wanted to save something for myself, I decided to phone the pizza place, Flame Pizza. They were always open till 2am in the morning and I was their favourite customer. The times they had my back.

Once again, dismissing my thoughts, I called the place.

“Yallo, spicy Flame Pizza, who is it and what’s the order?” Said a voice on the phone.

“Hi, I wanted to place an order of one Chilly Pizza with extra chillies, thanks.” I said and I was sure that someone would recognize my voice because as I said before, I was they’re most buying and favourite customer.

Sure enough, someone did recognize my voice.

“Kiana, is that you?” Asked the voice.

“Ae ko ahau, he aha koe?” I said, as a smile appeared on my face. You see, the person I was talking to was Papa Flange, the owner of the place, and my father’s friend back in college. And he was the one person who came to visit me quite often, and comfort me after both my parents died.

Translation: Yes, it’s me. How are you? (This is the translation of the language spoken in New Zealand, which is Maori.)

“Kiana, taku kotiro. Kua roa rawa, mai i te matenga o ou matua. E hiahia ana ahau kia noho tahi ahau ki a koe. I tata to maua papa me au. Ko te mea nui atu i nga hoa, he teina matou tetahi ki tetahi, a, kua ngaro nei ia ia, kei te ngaro i tetahi wahi o au. Na ko to whaea, he wahine ataahua, i awhina i ahau i nga wa e hiahiatia ana e ahau. E maama ana koe Kiana. Engari he mamae rawa i nga wa katoa ka whakaaro ahau ki o matua.” He said, and soon I heard sobs on the phone.

Translation: Kiana, my girl. It's been too long, ever since your parents died. I wish I could be there with you. Your father and I were close. Closer than friends, we were brothers to each other and now losing him is like losing a part of myself. And your mother, such a sweet lady, she helped me so much in my time of need. Sweet parents, you had Kiana. But it's so painful, every time I think about your parents.

“He pouri rawa ahau. Kaore au i te tikanga kia tangi koe. Engari ka whakaae ahau he roa rawa. A ka ngaro ano hoki au ia ratou.” I comforted him even though, I felt like falling apart myself since there was no one else to tell me it was alright. The girls were still at the club, I am sure. But I had to do my best to comfort Papa Flange.

Translation: I am so sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry. But I agree that it's been too long. And I miss them too, very much.

“Well, let’s talk in English now Papa Flange, my Maori is a bit rusty, but how have you been?” I asked him since last time I saw him, he was quite a champion in the food world.

“Well it’s been going alright. But to be honest, it’s been quiet too, ever since the price increase. I mean that, you know how prices can easily skyrocket, and we are all trying to make a buck, so we have to increase the prices.” Said Papa Flange, exasperatedly.

“Well Papa Flange, I understand what you are saying. At times, I wish the prices would decrease, but it’s not anyone’s choice. But that’s great, to hear you doing so well.” I said as I told you before, we were almost like family. His own family had supported me a lot when my parents had died, but otherwise my father and mother were close to Papa Flange, because they loved him very much as a family member and often helped him. Hence, the closeness.

“Well, what’s your order K, since we talked a lot other than the order?” He said as I laughed, at how business like he could be. Reminds me why, my father and him often got along.

“Well it’s 3 boxes of chilli pizza. That’s pretty much it. Thank you.” I said to him.

“It will be there in 10 mins, dear.” Said Papa Flange, then hung up.

Well, the food was going to take some time, what could I do meanwhile?

I got it.

I could prepare myself, put a movie in, and wait for the pizza to arrive. Basically, my dinner in a box.

In a frenzy, I ran to the bedroom, picked out my sleepwear, then ran to the bathroom like a maniac, did my business, then came out, and dressed up.

Then the bell rang. Right on time, I see.

The pizza man arrived, I thanked, and payed him. Then he left.

The movie I had set up was Spiderman: Homecoming. Hey, who said 22-year olds, couldn’t watch a teen film?

Anyway, the film when it ended was good I guess. Even though I wasn’t a teen, some films were pretty good, some were just good, and some were terrible. This one was just good. Oh well, I could sleep easy, compared to watching a horror film and staying up all night. That’s no fun and, nor is it fun being cranky because of it.

The actors were good, I guess even though I wasn’t a fangirl, to be really fangirling about something like that.

Well, enough about the movie, I had to sleep and then I had to find a job, and hopefully one of the girls would decide to call me back, and make me feel like I am not extinct to them. No matter, they were my friends. Then the world was thrown into darkness.

Morning had come. Sweet morning, especially on a Monday. The sarcasm that is coming out of me, is hilarious at times. But how I hated waking up at 7, in the god damn morning. Geez, it was pain, waking up in the morning, especially for a job. Even though being 23 years old and fresh out of university, I had to be that one adult to depend myself on. No one else was there except for Papa Flange, but he had had already supported me too much, and it wouldn’t seem fair asking him again.

Begrudgingly, I quickly took a shower. Nice quick, but long shower might I add, since this job hunting was going to shoot my nerves down. Then dressing myself up, with what you call an appropriate outfit and possibly a job winner outfit. Yeah right, and I would be Trump, even though he’s president, and I feel sorry for all those Americans out there. Oh well, we can’t all want what we want.

Great, breakfast time. What should I have for breakfast? Apart from eating French toast constantly for a week is irritating, I may have no other option. But maybe salad might work for some time, then I could grab something from a café. Well sounds like a good plan.

Soon enough I had walked out my door, and into the quiet Auckland street, as people on my street hardly left. As what looked like to me maybe they were nocturnal, and probably like being night birds. I mean I hardly ever saw people being alive at night, but one can dream, right? Hopes to the future then.

Taking a cab, since I didn’t technically own a car, the driver drove me to the Employment centre, so I could fill my form out. And then hopefully get some recommendations as to where I should apply, considering I am not a know-it-all about job places as especially where talent can even work. I mean seriously, if we all knew what we were doing and admitted or even changed it, the world would be perfect. But alas, the stupid fact. That it isn’t true, and neither is it going to be, any time soon.

Once I got out of my taxi, I looked at the building or rather stared since it was a massive building and well, I felt tiny compared to it. Almost like an ant being towered over, by the plants overhead. Carter Buildings. Of course, Carter Buildings was a very large business insinuated in language translators, considering their international businesses and for every language they have a translator for it. Me, I wanted to apply for French, since I had been studying it for quite some time.

It wasn’t like I hadn’t bothered to apply for other languages. No, trust me I had. But unfortunately, the only available option was for French. I mean it’s not a terrible thing but I like to experiment. See me in court then, for any objections and see if I give a damn. Oh wait, I would be too busy going into this building and applying, then giving a sarcastic comment, and shutting the case down like a file. Oh well, time to go inside. Although I suddenly felt too petrified to move as I stood there, gaping like a fish, dying for water. Well, at least I am still alive, and not dead after two minutes.

I am stalling, aren’t I? Of course, I am, it’s just too scary getting a job for the first time in my life. It’s not like I have no clue about job hunting, but honestly, I was brought up in a culture where working was not important, just having a handle on house chores was fine. Oh well, like I said before, I love to experiment.

Going inside, people were racing around. Not like leisurely, but more like in a hurry. Of course, the typical office look. Some people are always running around like donkeys, not that I have anything against office people, but honestly this is the most common scene found mostly in an office. Well, I am not a tourist, so I should just go to the receptionist, and tell her about me applying here.

Reaching the receptionist, I told her about me being an applicant, and where the heck I was supposed to wait.

“Just go to the left, and you will find a room there with weird design seats. That will be where the other applicants are waiting.” Pointed the receptionist.

“Thank you, kindly ma’am.” I said to her, though being nice was hardly a point made here.

And with that, I went in the direction which the receptionist had so kindly, directed me to. Note the sarcasm. Soon reaching the place, I saw many, many nervous faces greeting me as I came inside. Was it that tough that all these people were wearing nervousness, instead of a smile. Yes, I was also nervous, but I learnt to cover it. But these people had their nervousness literally written on their faces. It must be that tough then? Should I also be wearing a nervous behaviour in my attitude? Who knows.

Waiting for what seemed like forever, was an hour. What was I doing? Good question. I was busy writing a blog, or more specifically a post explaining my life as if I was in church, confessing to Lord Almighty. I would do that a different time though, probably on Sunday, or not at all. But I was busy writing about how life can change you in so many ways. Like for me it was that dreaded party.

Meeting that escort made me realize how sometimes we think the other person is enjoying him/herself. It could have proven me wrong in so many ways. Those eyes made me realize that sure we pretend we have an enjoyable time, and people buy it. But the inside scoop/story only that person knows. I mean the escort was something else as such to what we believe as a stereotype.

But I couldn’t dwell on something that I had just seen in his eyes. It could have been something different. Who could care? Soon that very nice receptionist came into the waiting room to inform us about who was going next.

“Ah yes, Mr Carter has asked Ms Kiana Knight to come into his office next. But thank you to the rest of the ladies in waiting.” As cheerful as a tone the receptionist could say all this, she soon left with her clip board in hand and me walking in step with her.

Can I just say how much I hate the idea of socialising? Well let me tell you then, it is horrible for us women to deal with, especially the ones who have more knack of sarcasm then a social tone of meeting others professionally or informally. A pain at both ends honestly. But hey, at least I was getting somewhere even without having much of a social life. But I do wonder, why everyone else goes nuts on the idea of friendship?

Sure, you get companionship and you know healthy relationships. But that’s not all sunshine. So much heartbreak and so much pain through that. But people would say that I have no clue about it. Well, they are right, I have no clue. But you know what, even if I have no clue, it doesn’t mean that I have no clue relating to what the actual matter at hand. It means that advice is there, take it or leave it.

We had almost reached the 20th floor of the corporate buildings. And I haven’t looked down since I feel like falling down. Did I mention I am acrophobic? Well, then that is what it is then. I mean if you see down below, you would feel like you’re falling, way down. I mean that’s not true but hey, being an acrophobic surely gives you more insight into this, than imagined.

Enough sarcasm and fact pointing for now. We had finally reached the door, of the great Mr Carter. Samuel Carter. The man was a genius, he had a knack for finding such excellent language translators, that we’d all be left in awe. Soon, the receptionist left me and I knocked. Soon the door opened, and I went in.

It was Mr Carter who had opened the door. But why did it feel like I’d seen someone like that before?