Without warning, he darts up and gets out the door.It all happened so fast as I nearly leaped out of the mattress that I was on.I could only hear a faint “Hey” from an unfamiliar voice before it cuts back to silence.He was back in the RV, shutting the door behind him and rushing towards the sink.I walked over to see the water turning crimson red as he scrubs blood from his hand in the running water.He looks at me dead in the eyes.”Fine.”Not explaining the blood on his hands, nor what happened.He grabs the pistol from the table, at that moment I closed my eyes.Expecting him to follow through.A minute passed, and opening my eyes I saw a gun in my hand.He was right in front of me.

”Take this, you’ll need it.I’ll drop you off in the nearest city tomorrow.”

“What about you?”

“I don’t know.”

“Taking more clients?

“Are you?”

“No.After a certain point, you realize the fun is over.Pain and guilt just set in after that.Do you ever feel guilty?”

“Not since I was 4.Even then, I can’t afford it.”

A large growl reminded me that I haven’t had a single ounce of food since the previous night.”Sorry.”He got up and went through the white plastic bag, going over to the small microwave and reheating it.Within minutes, he took it out to what I can see was a small crusty pie.It was warm, yet a bit cold.I could smell faintly the caramelized glaze of apples, thick and enriching the air in the suffocating heat of the RV.He placed it on the table and took out a white plastic fork and handed it to me.

”Here.”

“Thanks”

“I apologize, that was all I could get.It’ll have to do until tomorrow.”

My fork was already breaking through the crust, diving into the innards of the pie that has the thick consistency of bubblegum.The crust was warm, so were the apples that were a bit tough to bite down on. It was incredibly sweet, almost to the point of eating liquid syrup the apples were bitten right through, I could feel a bit of frost on some of the pieces on the edges of my teeth.Regardless I swallowed and devoured everything, at the end, I was still famished.

“It...could have tasted better but….thank you.”

“Get some rest.”

With that, he got up and walked towards the head of the vehicle.I could have sworn there was a faint smile on his face.I made my way towards the mattress and decided to rest.Tomorrow would be the last time, I would see him.

Thunder, the faint flashes of lightning in the cabin.The loud beeping alarm and shrill screams of passengers.We were falling, everything lit up.I was blinded, no air...I can’t breathe, everything feels so heavy.Falling faster, the freezing cold wind slicing through my skin like ice.Numb, everything is numb.Blood pouring out of my body, a headless woman next to me.Her left arm was gone.”Mom….mom, MOM!”

“Eadiyn!”

I gasped.Making out the face in front of me, and finally slowing down my breathing to be able to speak.”Sorry”

“What happened to your mom?”

“It was just a bad dream.Sorry If I disturbed you-were you driving?”

“You kept crying out.”

“Right, it was just a nightmare.”

“Nightmares usually happen because of unconscious thinking.”

“I-it was just…”He pulls out a napkin and hands it to me, I realized that tears were running down my face.

“I guess I shouldn’t have asked.Must have been 10 years ago, both your mother and father were casualties, correct?

“You knew?”

“You said “mom” in your sleep.You never had a connection with your current mother, it’s the only assumption I had.”

More tears drip down my face, I wasn’t really crying.At least not that I want to, but it just kept coming.7 years of living alone and nameless, I grew used to disconnecting from the world.Not a single tear shed from anything I have ever done.And yet, tears just continue to fall from my face.

“Fuck” I muttered.Abruptly something pulled me in, I was soon pressed against softness and warmth, occasionally a heartbeat.I felt my face turn red.”I heard this is what people do to comfort others in distress.”His grasp was tight but I held onto him instinctively, shamelessly.An infant grasping onto its mother for warmth and safety.Slowly the tears stopped.

“Can’t I at least know your name?”

“You’re asking again.”

“I won’t tell.”

He leaned in closer to my ears “ Xi Ya”.I almost burst into laughter.

“That’s a girl’s name.”

“ It is.”

“So,...you’re a female?”

“Uhm” He unbuckled his belt, and took a look inside his pants.”No.”Refastening his belt after.

“Oh”.