Cyrus

I walked into the kitchen confused, scratching the back of my head as I let the door fall closed behind me. Em was still making stuff in the kitchen, and I raised an eyebrow. “I though’ you already made dinner?’ I questioned, and she nodded solemnly.

“We have not had dessert in forever, and those are my favorite to make.” She said. I nodded, finally catching drift of the aroma filling the room.

“Is tha’ cinnamon?” I asked. She nodded once more.

“I’m making cinnamon rolls.” She stated promptly, using her voice in such a way she reminded me of a dojo sensei. Odd little thing. I shook my head, the words ‘cinnamon rolls’ finally registering.

“Those are Victoria’s favori’es!” I celebrated, as if I had accomplished something.

“Is that the first thought that comes to mind?” She asked, eyeing me curiously. I shook my head ‘yes’, in honesty. She raised an eyebrow. “Cyrus, I’ve been meaning to ask-” She began.

“Yes?” I asked her, ushering for her to go on. She sighed once again, and I nearly scolded her.

“Are you in love with Victoria?” She asked. I choked on air. She put down her tools. “Wait, are you? You are?” She went on. I continued to have my seizure. “Well, you need to back off! I need nephews!” She threatened me, picking up her knife. My eyes widened as I looked at her, too frightened to register what she meant by nephews.

“I promise ya I’m no’ in love with ‘er!” I shouted. “I don’ know how you could get such an idea...” I trailed off, looking away.

“Oh wow! You’re not fooling me! You’re obsessed with her!” She shouted at me. I choked again.

“I am no’ ‘obsessed’!” I snapped at her. She raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms. “Ch- Fine! I am obsessed, but no’ in love!” I cried out.

“I don’t believe you!” She said, sticking her nose up. I groaned, letting my arms dangle as I leaned forward.

“If I tell you a secret will you shu’ the bloody ‘ell up you little angry ball of hate?” I hissed at her. She nodded eagerly, demanding an explanation with the gesture. “I’m bloody gay you uncultured swine.” She froze, gaping up at me.

“You’re what?” She asked. I rolled my eyes.

“I’m gay. A homosexual.” I enunciated the last word. “I like men. I’d to’ally do yer brother if I didn’t hate ‘im.” I strung out for her. She choked on air herself this time. I sighed, standing up straight again. I dragged my hand down my face as I looked down at the frozen fluff ball. “You go’ a problem with tha’?” I asked, looking down at her.

“Your gay! I have been hoping someone on this goddamn ship was gay for forever! They say one in ten people are gay and we have like fifty million on this thing so I figured someone must be! I didn’t expect you though! That’s great now I can pair you up with men!” She squealed excitedly.

I looked down at her with an eyebrow raised. “How did you no’ expec’ me tuh be gay? I am like the gayes’ person ‘ere.”

She shrugged. “Well, Angelica was pining after you for like ever and then I thought you loved Victoria. I did think it might be true before Victoria came onto the ship but then she did and you were so… boyfriend-like I thought she must be like your incest love thing. I don't shame so I wasn't going to say anything about loving your sister, though she isn't related by blood, but whatever.”

I licked to roof of my mouth, not really understanding much of what Em said. “Okay then.” I said, eyeing the oven again.

“Those really are her favori’es.” I said, thinking back to when Mortieu had first taken us in. He’d brought us cinnamon rolls, and Vic’s jaw had nearly hit the floor when she’d tried them. Maybe it had been that she had nothing to compare it to other than the crappy, usually burnt, stale bread rolls the bake Moriater fed to his pigs. Stealing from pigs was easy.

Em rolled her eyes. “Why don’t you just tell her then?” She suggested, probably only wanting me out of her kitchen.

“I should go tell ‘er!” I said, acting as if I had come up with the idea. Em rolled her eyes once more, and it looked like she were going to strain them. I skipped off into the dining hall merrily, bumping into Angelica.

“What’s got you in such high spirits?” She asked, stepping back away from me. I looked down at her slightly awkwardly after what I had heard from Em, but then stopped when I remembered what I was going to do.

“Cinnamon rolls!” I said, hopping past her as I went to the dining hall door. I hopped over two crew mates on the floor, looking at them curiously as I made my way onto the deck. I wandered over to Victoria’s quarters, and was so excited to see her reaction that I didn’t even bother knocking.

I opened the door with a wide smile and stopped dead. My smile slipped off my face as I gaped at Vincent and Victoria. He had her pinned against the wall, his lips pressed against hers. And to top it off, as if it wasn't bad enough, his hand slipping up her shirt. They broke apart and I forgot I was supposed to breath. It took me a moment to take it all in before I could react.

“VINCENT!” I shouted, my teeth crashing down when I finished calling out his name. I was certain my face was red, as I was boiling with anger. He dared do this?

Vincent’s head whipped around, and he blanched when he caught sight of me. “Y-yes Captain?” He asked, as if he didn’t know exactly what I was upset about. I stormed over, and grabbed him by the collar before making my way to the deck of the ship.

“NO! No’ cap’ain! I am no’ your bloody cap’ain anymore you blubberin’ pile of-” I bit down on my tongue to refrain from going on with that. “Out! I wan’ you gone!” I shouted, my grip on his shirt tightening. I could hear Victoria yelling at me from behind, Vincent himself too shocked to speak.

“Cyrus!” She screamed, I continued to go on. “CYRUS!” She screeched, her hands digging into my coat. I felt a fist pound against my back. I hissed, biting down even harder on my tongue.

I threw Vincent down on the wooden deck floor and turned to her. Vincent grabbed at his shirt collar, and by the looks of it had gone around his neck like a noose as I had dragged him. “What?!” I yelled at her, my voice lashing out at her in cold fury.

“Stop it!” She yelled. “Just stop it!”

“Stop wha’?” I asked her, my voice cold. “Stop tryin’ tuh protect you?” I asked, nearly laughing. “Stop trying tuh keep ya safe, and happy, and alive?” I took a step towards her. I lowered my eyes at her, smiling, “Or is i’ jus’ like then?” I questioned, raising an eyebrow.

“Don’t you say it.” She warned me, and I couldn’t help but want to hate her at the moment.

“Is poor li’l Vic tired of wha’ she’s been given?” I spat, taking another step. “Does poor li’l Vic wan’ wha’ she can’ have again?” I hissed at her. Another step. “Well then,” I began, towering over her at this point. “Should I jus’ hand the other arm over now?”

Her hand flew up and hit my across the face. She slapped me! “Shut up!” The stinging on my cheek was nothing compared to the realization of what I had just said sinking in. How could I? “That has nothing to do with this!” She spat at me, and I raised my hand to my face as I looked back at her. Almost the entire crew had gathered around to see this.

“Victoria...” I had begun. How could I? How could I have done this? “I just wan’ed to-” I began, before she cut me off.

“No! You can’t do this! You can’t freak out whenever I have fun! I am in love with Vincent! Okay? You can’t stop me from seeing him and if you throw him off this ship I will jump off after him!” Vic shrieked at me, prodding me in the chest with her finger. I was too shocked to speak. The small gesture felt like a bullet, and I nearly toppled over at the feeling. “It’s my life and I don’t need you to bloody look over me like I’m some child!” She called out. Another shot in the chest, and my ears began to ring.

I couldn’t breath, looking down at her furious eyes, brimming with tears. Had I caused them? I hurt her. I hurt my darling Vic. For once in my entire lifetime, it was Vic’s voice that I could no longer hear. My vision went dark on the edges, and her figure was a blur as I looked at her. I didn’t need to hear the words for them to hurt. Shot, after shot, after shot, rang throughout my chest, leaving empty spots that ached.

I failed her. I had failed Victoria. My mind clawed away at itself, screeching at me that I’d hurt her. She didn’t need me, I only dragged her down. A single tear was all it took, a single, angry, tear was all it took for my lungs to shrivel up and knot themselves, for my throat to close in on itself. My eyes widened, and I tried screaming out at her. To tell her I’m sorry and beg for forgiveness.

You don’t deserve it! I hissed at myself. Another shot, my ribcage cracked and morphed, stabbing myself. You hurt her, you hurt her, you hurt her, another side of me cried. I felt dizzy, and with every word I felt myself stumble backwards. Another tear, two steps. My hands wrapped around my throat. Suffer, a poison voice screeched at me.

She was screaming something at me, they all were. I couldn’t hear them. I felt my eyes go dry, and I wanted to cry. You don’t get to cry, my mind tore into itself. I couldn’t feel my toes, my fingers dug deeper into my neck despite me not being able to feel them. Victoria, Victoria! She screeched something unintelligible, and I felt my back go up against the ship’s railing. I couldn’t move my body. I just kept backing up, one last thought was hissed at myself before my vision went black, and my body hurled itself backwards off the boat:

Die.