Jean-Luc and Joey rode off in their getaway van as the sun raved on in the Western Australian desert. After a lucky escape like that, the best option now was to find a presumably new spot to vacation in... or at least get back to town, pick up their RV, and ride home. The boys rode through the canyon ridge with nothing but their lives accompanied by a crocodile bobblehead sitting on the dashboard. The crocodile nodded happily at the sight of its big, human catch. The ride was quiet and comfortable, but something crossed Joey's mind.

"Sooo…" Joey pondered, "Is what we just did considered stealing?"

"I'm surprised it took you this long to ask," Jean-Luc began, "In technical terms, it can be. But in times of danger, then I think-." CLANK! Something collided with the back of the truck. An adjust of the rearview mirror and a group of motorcyclists trailing behind. Jean-Luc had to do a double-take because he was sure nobody was following them. Joey took a closer look and found a bunch of trailing bikers, and saw that they were loaded with guns... lots of guns.

"Do you think they're just passing by?" Joey wondered. With each passing mile, they just grew closer to the pursuing vehicle. Joey kept an eye on the ascending motorcycles as everyone drove through a dark tunnel. But a profound roar would echo throughout, causing Joey to reel back and exclaim, "I-I think the king is back!"

"WHAT?!" Jean-Luc shouted back. He took one last look in the mirror and found the no-good Australian king riding on a carriage as the raging gorilla pulled him through. The gorilla sprinted heavily on its hindlegs as it chased the van. An idiotic scream exploded from the furry fools' lungs, and the van was put in at top speed as they made their getaway.

"AFTER THEM!" The king commanded. All of the bikers aimed their guns and proceeded to fire. Our furry friends had to put the pedal to the metal if they were to get out of this one!

Two bikers, a wolf-man, and an inbred cat sped furiously at the pair. They RAMMED the side of the van with theirs to try and knock it off balance. The bikers rolled to the door of the van and shouted, "You're coming with us!" only Jean-Luc to roll up his window in response. The bikers would use the butt of their shotgun to break the window. CRASH!! The window was destroyed, and the brothers would find themselves grappling with the intruders. The wolf man jumped in and strangled the duo as they desperately tried to stay on the road. 

Somewhere under the wolf man's giant arms, Joey struggled out of his claws. He punched the wolf in the jawline, and thumped the biker in the gut while Jean-Luc tried to gnaw and kick the man's arm off. By happenstance, Jean-Luc's foot knocked into the radio, causing it to play some chase music.

More bikers clamored the van as it swerved furiously on the road. They climbed on the trailer and began to stomp on its hull. This made Jean-Luc pretty mad, and it wasn't even his car! The fox adjusted his neck over his grappler's claws and pulled him over to Joey, allowing the rabbit to strangle the wolf as hard as he strangled his dad.

On the opposite end of the van, the bikers unsheathed large blades from their coats and pierced the hull of the RV. Jean-Luc then began to drive even more erratically, trying to shake off these relentless goons. To make matters worse, two impending trucks crashed through sets of cacti and sandwiched the getaway van. One was paired with a rabid alligator while the other was loaded with a double-barreled Gatling gun.

"Urk!" Jean-Luc responded loudly. He stretched an arm to grab Joey and spun him about. Jean-Luc then hurled Joey into the driver with the Gatling gun, causing him to shoot blindly. Bullets were sent all over the place, barely missing their targets. Other bikers were gunned down, throwing them off course or just filling them full of lead. Joey couldn't handle the pressure and dove back onto the van to fend off the remaining bikers.

One by one, Joey threw his punches. Despite his size, Joey knew right where to aim. Somewhere that was much worse than falling off the roof of a speeding vehicle. Once they were gone, Joey looked down at the mirror and gave Jean-Luc a wave. Jean-Luc looked up at his boxing bunny and remarked, "And to think, this all was over a glass of beer!"

Just then, a spotted toad paired with a gray turtle leaped over a set of slanted pillars and on the rolling truck. They crashed on the hood of the rolling camper van. The turtle pulled sticks of dynamite from his shell and threw them at Jean-Luc. Jean-Luc flinched and caught the dynamite. He kept it by his side before chucking it back at the turtle.

"Hey! This is yours!" The turtle complained as he threw the pack back.

"Nuh-uh!" Jean-Luc spat back as he returned the explosiv. 

"Yours!" the turtle counterargued.

"YOURS!" Jean-Luc asserted with a raised tone.

"YOOOUUURRSS!!!" the two brawlers screeched.

"YOUR-eh," Jean-Luc stopped, stringing up a scheme, "MINE!"

"WHAT?!" the turtle shouted in disbelief, "That's mine!"

"Well, is your name on it?" Jean-Luc asked while raising his eyebrows up and down.

"Why 'course it is, mate!" the turtle spoke out, "I's got me name and everythin'!"

"Well, it is the holidays... Sure, pal!" Jean-Luc gleefully replied, "Merry Christmas!" He handed the pack of dynamite back to the turtle, set him back in his truck, and drove off. The turtle tossed his dynamite around with glee while his partner, the toad, looked at him with a grimace. 

"What?" the turtle asked dumbfoundedly. When the turtle finally realized his stupidity, the dynamite exploded. KA-BOOM!!!

That's one truck down, but there's still one more to go. The camper van took a ramming from the offending truck, and was slammed heavily against the canyon walls, losing its suspension. This gave the king's men optimal time to climb back on the roof of the van. These guys were more decadent than the last set and overpowered Joey before he knew it.

Concurrently, a madcap wallaby used his pet alligator to burst through the passenger window and attack Jean-Luc. Jean-Luc yelped and began to punch the gator hard in the nose. The van rolled straight through a long tunnel, all with boulders that seemed ready to collapse at any minute. Joey, still restrained, caught sight of the boulders above. This gave him a brilliant idea. 

In an instant, Joey shook himself furiously and blasted everyone off! Next, Joey pulled a mallet out of his hat, and swung it at the bikers. The rabbit slammed his mallet repeatedly against the tunnel's tight walls. Jean-Luc saw this and shouted, "JOEY!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Jean-Luc then took a second look and saw the boulders crumbling down.

"Wait, nevermind! Keep doing it!" Jean-Luc rescinded, allowing his son to continue his plan. As the boulders came tumbling down, they would either block the chasers' path or crush them to smithereens. Joey's plan was a success, but it wasn't foolproof. The canyon turned out to be Australia's dangerous badlands... The Raging Rockslide. It surely lived up to its name as the boulders began to topple over the road, making the camper van's path an unstable one. Joey would utter a short, "Oh dear..." as he watched the canyon crumble before his very eyes.

Jean-Luc would come to the rescue and pull Joey back into the van. Jean-Luc then slammed his foot through the pedal, making the van speed faster than the speedometer would allow. It took the grit of his teeth and the weight of his foot for Jean-Luc, but it would all pay off. They'd burst through the barricades of the canyon edge and get out of the badlands before the exit caved in.

"Yeah!" Jean-Luc and Joey shouted as they gave each other a high-five.

"There's no way anybody could survive that!" Jean-Luc exclaimed, "Now, we can finally enjoy our Christmas holiday." The fox and rabbit could sigh in relief now that the madcap caper was finally over. Joey looked at the road ahead and smiled, only to suddenly shiver and frown in an instant.

"What is it, son?" Jean-Luc asked. He put a pair of glasses on, but they would come flying off at the bulge of an eye. Just over the horizon, an XXL Metroactual Combine came gunning for the RV. And the driver? No one but that lizard bartender in all his bolted glory, maniacally laughing and blaring the horns of his massive freighter.

"You've GOT to be kidding me..." Jean-Luc cursed under his breath. Without thinking, he threw the camper van into a drift, turning the vehicle hard on its side. The Combine collided straight into the side of the camper van, pushing it across the long, bumpy dirt. The Combine grated the edges of the van to shreds. Soon, the entire side of the camper was exposed. To make matters worse, a cliff was nearing by, which elicited a scream from the unlucky duo. 

The lizard was a mad man! He threw the Combine at top speed and pushed both himself AND the camper van over the edge, causing everyone to fall into the depths below. Jean-Luc and Joey held each other tightly as they plummeted to the ground. And as they watched their lives flash before their eyes, a maniacal lizard rolled in to taunt them one last time.

"Can't wait to see you boys splattered all over the pavement!" taunted the laughing lizard. The lizard then bailed out of the Combine for a safe patch of land. It was a long way down from here. But then... The camper van hit an extended piece of slab. The vehicle flipped on its wheels, breaking the bearings before screeching in an overactive motion. The camper van finally spun out of control, and then... 

CRASH! A crooked sign stopped the van dead in its tracks. The impact caused Joey to fly straight through the windshield. Jean-Luc, on the other hand, slammed his head against the dashboard. The wreckage took a toll on Jean-Luc's head. He opened the door slowly and fell onto the hot sand with a thud. Jean-Luc's eyes twirled as his body slowly caught up with his brain. Once he felt some energy come back, Jean-Luc hopped onto his feet and called for Joey.

"Joey? Joooeeeeyyy?" Jean-Luc called. No answer. Jean-Luc started to get worried. His tail would catch his attention and point upward. There, he'd find Joey, unconscious as he dangled from a tree. Jean-Luc gasped in fright and ran to his aid. But suddenly, a large force fronted the fox and thrust him to the ground.

"Goin' somewhere, mate?" asked a dangerous armadillo. Jean-Luc gasped and was abruptly surrounded by the King of Australia and his burly men. The king took a glance at the hanged rabbit and gruffed, "Looks like we got a good one, boys!" He then pulled a knife from his back and rested the sharpened blade on Jean-Luc's neck. He sinfully stared at the fox and uttered, "Now yer' gonna watch ya' blood spill out yer' neck, bushranger."

"Pfft. Like that's gonna kill me," Jean-Luc bluffed. The king lifted the blade from his neck and pushed it gently against his heart. The fox gulped in fear and quivered, "B-b-but that might hurt a lot..." The king unleashed a vile cackle. The king pushed the sword deeper on the fox's chest and persuasively asked, "Any last words before we skin you into Christmas Bush?" Jean-Luc closed his eyes and made fun of his crown. Enraged at this, the king pulled back his blade and prepared for the lunge. But just before he could deliver the final blow, a hand of bananas knocked over his crown.

"Bugger!" the king cursed loudly. The king ran for his crown, as he wouldn't be ruler without it. He also picked up the bananas and demanded the head of the fool responsible for this act. Little did he realize that in this situation, he was the fool. A wall of steam loomed over the king's back. Now with the bloodshot in his eyes, the king's smile lowered to a quiver. 

The King of Australia eventually locked eyes with the creature that stood before him. An unstable gorilla towered over the minuscule armadillo. The king's loyal pet growled deeply as it stared at the bananas with its bloodshot eyes. The gorilla wanted nothing more than to eat, and it wasn't going to care who got in its way—especially not some feeble king.

"Knickers..."

A swift crush to his torso would find the king trapped. And as abrupt as a truck stop, the king was mauled to death brutally by the ravenous ape. The mauling was visceral enough that even the toughest bushman would not dare to look. The ravishing would end with a long and satisfied burp. The final remnant of the late king would be a crown that the gorilla, fortunately, coughed out. The bikers stared at the crown in disbelief. Their king had met his untimely demise, and they only had a crown to show for it. These loyal henchmen wanted vengeance, and they knew just who to turn their wrath towards. 

"Ulp!" Jean-Luc yelped. The bikers unsheathed their blades and marched for the weary fox.

"Wait!" Joey cried, hopping down to his father's aid, "Isn't it the holidays? Why-why-why don't we celebrate over a nice drink?" The bikers were unfazed, still aching for revenge. That is until Jean-Luc raised a finger and added, "Y-yeah! Why don't uhh... why don't 'cha try some Carrot ale?" Jean-Luc reached in Joey's hat and pulled out a cooler. He opened the cooler and a fresh mist of dry ice steamed out. Under all of that smoke, a dozen shining bottles of carrot-flavored ale was revealed. The brothers offered this new drink to the bikers. 

At first, the bikers were unsure of this new drink. One brave soul stepped forth and tried it for himself. The drinker was unsure of this new ale. The tanginess and flavor seemed to counteract his preconceived judgment of traditional liquor. But then, his eye twitched. The biker did a jig, then a spin, and threw himself out like a goofball. Like a child coked up on sugar, the drinker got his friends to taste the golden liquor. Just like that, the ale grew to the other bikers' liking. 

"It's a miracle!" one biker exclaimed, "It's a Bloody Christmas Miracle!" Inevitably, the bikers, and the gorilla, chugged the ale like champions. The new beer was to their liking, and they were craving for more. One biker hobbled to our foxy friend and asked, "Say, ya' think you could hook us up with more?"

"Get more?" Jean-Luc responded with a smug stare, "Why, my friend, I'll make you some! For all of you!" The bikers, and the gorilla, roared louder once they heard the good news. Jean-Luc and Joey were crowned the new kings of Australia, and had quality beer to celebrate. The bikers lifted Jean-Luc and Joey on their backs and carried them back to town, all while singing and cheering in the process.

As the sun began to set on this sanity-deprived day, Jean-Luc and Joey got to spend their Christmas vacation in Australia precisely as they planned. This time, though, they got to share it, and some homemade liquor, with a couple of new friends along the way. It was a beautiful end, and not without a couple of swigs to boot.

"Ooh, heh-heh... I think I feel a little bit drunk," a stupified Jean-Luc remarked, "Hey Joey! Hand me another drink, would ya' please?"

The End