It hurt. Oh god, it hurt. I couldn’t get the image of Neo’s pained expression out of my head. I’d lashed out, and I had hurt him, and my heart was screaming.
I always had trouble driving in the rain, because there was a part of me which froze when clouds covered the sky and masked the moon, and it slowed my reflexes. It was harder when there were tears clouding my vision. My breath was hitching in my throat, little wheezing whines betraying my pain more than the tears which I hadn’t yet allowed to spill to join the rain’s moisture on my face.
Thunder cracked, and the wolf inside me quivered with fear; it had me jumping in my seat, my hands jerking with the shock of the sudden loud threat. Which was not a good thing considering I was trying to drive like an idiot. If it had been a sunny day, I would have been able to save it. As it was, the rain made the road slick enough that the slight sideways motion turned into a nasty fishtailing skid onto the wrong side of the road.
If it hadn’t been so late, the rain so torrential, there was a good chance that would have been the end of me.
Thank god there was nobody else in the road- but I was in the middle of a forest. My skid took me into an old elm tree; it ruined the hood of my car without doing a damn thing to the tree, and I could hear the metal crumpling under the force with the terrifying crystal clarity of a wolf. My heart seized in my chest, eyes closing tight, as I was flung forward against the tight restraint of my seatbelt.
I should have been relieved when the seatbelt did what it was intended to, but all I felt was the strangest sense of disappointment when I was still alive to feel the sting where the shattered glass had ripped across my skin, the pounding pain where my head had connected with the steering wheel. My vision was blurred worse than ever as blood coursed down my forehead from where the impact must have split my skin.
For a moment, all I could do was sit in silent shock, staring at the smoke rising from the folded front of my car, the rain glistening in the circle of light from the headlight which hadn’t shattered. Other than the ringing in my ears, it was quiet. Peaceful.
Then I choked on the pain and fear, and the tears I had been holding back came out with a keening whine which turned into full on sobbing. I put my arms up over the steering wheel and rested my aching head against them as I cried. Whether out of anger, relief, or some strange combination, I didn’t know. I was a mess of boiling emotions that didn’t make sense no matter how much I wanted it all to stop.
I had no idea how long I sat like that, huddled over the steering wheel with the smell of smoke burning my nose. Long enough for the pounding rain to finally slow to a soft drizzle. Long enough for my phone to start screaming in my pocket. I let it ring through to voicemail several times before the ringtone finally came through my fuzzy head properly. Then my heart knotted tight and I scuffled at my side to wrestle my phone out of my pocket and up to my ear.
“Tsuki!” The voice which came out of my phone, tinny and shrill, was familiar- both comforting and heartbreaking.
I clutched the phone tighter, trying to get my throat to work, and only managing a whispered, “Dad…” which turned into harsher, wracking sobs.
“Tsuki? Oh my god, Tsuki! Are you okay?” He waited a few beats, before the concern in his voice thickened. “Sweetheart, I don’t know what happened, but I need you to calm down. Deep breaths. In, and out. In, and out. Can you do that for me, honey?”
I shook my head, which was nonsense on two counts- he couldn’t see it, and it had the blood which had stopped beginning to creep down my face again. “Dad- can’t. It hurts… it hurts so much.”
“Shit!” he hissed the word, and I was faintly worried that I was worse off than I had thought. “Is it bad enough that you would need a hospital?”
“Y-yes,” I stammered out the word, though I knew I wouldn’t get to one. There were very few hospitals which wouldn’t turn a wolf like me over to the mad scientists. Most of them had disbanded after the Moon Guard had been all but destroyed by the previous mad alpha of the Cereus pack. The only option a wolf had was to be delivered back to his pack. Of course, the problem with that was that my pack wouldn’t raise a damn finger to help me.
“Damn it. I can’t do anything on my own… well, I suppose it was about time anyway. Where are you, honey? I’ll send somebody to get you, and they’ll take you to a pack that will help. I promise, you’ll be okay.”
About time for what? I didn’t have the strength or concentration to push past the pain enough to really wonder about that. “I was… on the way home. The pack meeting- Neo- god,” I choked out the last word, my heart throbbing in time with my head. I was dizzy- logically, I knew htat I’d probably lost too much blood even for a wolf, most likely coupled with shock and what would probably turn out to be a concussion.
“It’s okay, sweetheart, that’s good enough. Now I want you to close your eyes, okay? Close your eyes, and take deep breaths. Breathe with me, Tsuki. In, and out. In, and out. Remember how we used to do that when you had nightmares? I’m right here with you, honey. In, and out.”
I shuddered at the reminder of the burden I had been on him when I first moved in. It had taken me weeks to fall asleep in a bed and not find somewhere to hide. And even when I had managed, I’d been plagued by nightmares of the beatings I’d received even with Neo’s protection. Every time, my father had gently woken me up. He always sat on my bed next to me, putting my head in his lap and combing his fingers through my hair, while he told me the same thing: breathe, in and out, slow and steady, because nothing can hurt you while I’m here.
Astonishingly, I found myself listening to him. My breathing began to match with his words. Ever so slowly, I calmed myself down from the knife edge of losing consciousness- which, considering the probable concussion, passing out would have been a very bad idea.
“Dad?” I whispered the word when I was calm enough to speak without losing it all again.
“Yeah, baby?”
“I’m sorry. I’m trouble. For you, and Neo. I’ll be better.”
“Tsuki?” My father sounded confused and worried. “What are you talking about? You’re fine just the way you are.”
“No,” I breathed, feeling my consciousness beginning to sleep away as my deep breaths became shallow. “I’m spineless. Weak. It’s no wonder they hate me. Neo… I’ll get better, dad. I swear. I’m… tired…”
My dad’s voice rose high with panic, but I’d already hung up and dropped my phone. I heard it hit the floor of the car, and couldn’t bring myself to care that it may have shattered the stupidly fragile screen. My head was swimming, but it felt peaceful, calming, and it was a strange relief that the black haze curling around my thoughts was dulling the pain.
It was nice- until the shriek of squealing brakes tore through my peace and quiet. My startled jerk had me whimpering in pain, clutching at my aching head and regretting it immediately when my fingers came away sticky with half dried blood. I cringed back from my stained hands, shutting my eyes again and trying to drown out the world.
“Here! The rain has almost drowned out his scent, but there’s no mistaking an omega! God, the amount of blood…” An unfamiliar voice joined the ringing in my ears, and I fumbled for the latch of the seatbelt. I was fighting to get it off when my door opened, and I flinched hard when I was assaulted by the bright beam of a flashlight.
“Damn it, Thrane, turn that off! If he hit his head, that’s going to be agony!” A sharper voice joined the sudden chaos, and the blazing light gave way to blessed darknes.
“Well sorry that I’m human, and I can’t see in the dark,” a third voice added petulantly.
“I’m human too, but I know better! Can you get him out of the car, Alyx?”
Alyx? The name sounded familiar, but at the moment, I couldn’t place it. The pain was overwhelming, worse than before thanks to the brief repreive, and I would have cried if I didn’t know how painful that was. Jerking at the touch of a hand didn’t help. My voice was a constant low whine in the back of my throat as I cringed away from the shadowed figure leaning over me in the car.
“Ah, it’s worse than I thought it would be. Kibba, do you have the serum the Moon Guard came up with? He’s going to need something to survive getting to our pack.”
“Yeah. Move out of the way.”
A slightly taller figure took place of the first one, accompanied by a flash of metal which I tried to get away from; it drove into my neck anyway, a yelp of pain torn out of me as I did my best to claw at my assailant. I got a hiss of pain, but icy chill spread from where the needle had pierced through my skin.
“Relax, Tsuki. Your heart rate is going fast enough to speed along that medicine without the help of panic. We’re here to help.” The first voice I had heard was soft, soothing- and underlined with a familiar, otherworldy power. But where most alphas couldn’t even attempt to influence me, this voice was calming me just as he demanded. I knew that meant something- I just didn’t know what.
I didn’t even know what they were saying, the three of them speaking next to me, though it was hardly in hushed tones. Whatever they had injected me with was dulling the pain again. With it came the soft fuzz of black which curled around my head to mute my thoughts. Vaguely, I remember fighting against strong arms when I was pulled out of the car.
And a calm, low voice in my ear. “Your father sent us, Tsuki. You’re going to be okay. I promise I’ll keep you safe.” The unearthly timbre rose in his voice again, and I couldn’t help feeling safe being carried by the owner of that persuasive tone. “Now, sleep. You need to heal, and that means rest. I’ll watch over you, I promise. Just sleep.”
I had no will to fight against that order; whether it was his influence, or my sheer exhaustion, I didn’t know. Didn’t care. But I surrendered myself to the encroaching darkness with blissful abandon- and with no worry at all that I was being carried off by a strange wolf with a power like none I had faced before.
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