So I came across a massive company known as Fight US who wanted me to locate some Flintium so that they can build a superhuman army. Fight US said to me that this shit gave me superpowers. This does make sense because I woke up doing backflips. Before I couldn't even frontflip on a trampoline. Anyways this material gave me super stealth, super jump abilities, flexibility and more. I'm pretty much a ninja. Bodyguards were keeping watch on me while I was looking for Flintium. Like for fuck sake. Flintium is harder to locate than the Lamb Sauce. So after 3 hours I decided "Fuck it!" and I knocked out all the bodyguards in the radius and fled. I ended up having a 3 star wanted level. I camped out in a sparsely populated village in the Flintopian Desert. I was lying low for about 4 weeks.

By Jojo.