Read 8 Eyes for You :: 9- A Message Unread (pt. 2)

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"Hidemi, I found that weird guy with the nasty hair." Hona came in. She stretches, "He spilled the truth, it seems that he made your roommate drink."

I nod, "I know. He already told me..." I closed my laptop and stood up. "I'm going to bed, good night--"

"No, go check your roommate. He seemed a little bit sober before I left." Hona quickly hung her jacket and went to the bathroom. "Good night, Hidemi."

I groaned. I scratched my head and opened the guest room.

He slept on the bed. No covers and with tear droplets. Near his eyes, it had a small puddle of water on the bed sheet.

...man...I can't believe I made him cry...

I touched his cold face. I can still remember kissing him. Hmm...

I sigh and grabbed the kicked covers and pulled over him. "Stupid..." I called him and yawned. I closed the lights and shut the door.

...

I couldn't fall asleep.

I didn't check the messages and missed calls that Hyun Oh sent me. They're probably drunk messages.

I don't want to hear it after we just fought.

I sigh. I should check what he wrote so I can make fun of him later...

I checked the text messages first.

[Hidmei, you're so dumb!!]

...he spelled my name wrong...

[FUCKKKKK]

[YOLO]

[LNLLLLLLL ALDJLA;]

Okay, all of his texts are just bad grammar and spelling mistakes...

Maybe his voice messages are better than this...

Ling!

"H-Hello? Hideeemmiiiii? Aweee, Kennnn!! Ken, he didn't answer..."

"Hyun Oh, you can call him later--"

"No no no-wait wait, Hidemi, I'm sorryy! I really really like homos! HAHAH!! I just said homos!!"

"Dude, I should've never gotten you drunk--"

"No no-wait wait!"

"Kyaaahhhhahahah!!!"

"Hyun Oh! Get down, we're going to get kicked out!!"

"Nuu, I have to call him! Hu--Wait, awww! He didn't answer again!"

....I seriously don't want to listen to his whining voice....

I closed my phone and sighed. I don't really want to hear about this....

Seriously...what's with him acting like this?

Even so, he seemed so scared of me when I told him I was bisexual.

Ugh....he's confusing....

I shouldn't like kids like him. It was a bad idea...

As I tried to put my phone in my pocket, it fell out and turned on.

WHAT THE HELL?! HOW DID IT TURN--?!

"Hhaaha....Hidemi, why aren't you answering meee?! Do you not like me anymoree? I'm sorryyy, please like me again....I like you tooo....pleaseee....I really like you, sniff. I wish I told youuu!"

...What....

"GAH! I'm so sorry!! Hyun Oh!!! Stop it! Get away from the couple!!"

"I don't see any!! Go away, Ken!!"

"Hyun Oh, come here--!!"

I don't believe that, to be honest.

I sigh. I ruffled my hair back and grabbed it. "Be quiet..." I closed it.

===============================

I woke up.

That's...that's right...I'm not at the dorm.

I'm at someone's home.

The door knocked. "Can I come in?"

"Yes!" I answered.

The girl came in. She smiled this time with more gentleness.

"So, how are you feeling?"

I didn't look at her. "I'm good..." I cough. "I should get going..."

"You should wait for Hidemi. You both live together, right?"

Yeah...that's right.

I got up and looked at her. "Yes...um...is he still asleep?"

Hona nods, "Yeah, just wake him up. I need to go to work. Goodbye."

She leaves the room.

I sigh. I don't want to wake him up. I just want to leave by myself...

I leave the room and looked. No one, no sound, just emptiness.

I exhale and grabbed my glasses and other belongings.

I have to leave now before he wakes up. It...it will be awkward if we both saw each other.

As I open the door to the exit, he opens.

"You should wait for me..." His voice echoes throughout the room. I stop and turned to look at him.

His glasses aren't fixed, his bed hair flopped to one side and his tank top is sliding off his shoulder.

He yawned and walks to the bathroom. "Don't leave without me..."

...

I waited. Within 5 minutes, he came and grabbed his belongings.

"Is that all your clothing?" I asked.

Hidemi yawned and shook his head. "No, I'm leaving some of my things here. I'll pick it up later..."

I don't understand really. This is...Hona's home, right?

Why was he staying here? He could have gone to the dorm...

We walked out. Locking the door and leaving in silence

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As we got inside the dormitory, we walk down the hallway in silence.

A couple of yawns from him, a couple of coughs from me.

I grabbed my key and held the door knob.

...I want to break the wall between us...

I take myself back and look at him. He's not looking at me.

"H-H-H-Hidemi...." I stuttered.

His eyes look at me. "Yeah...what?"

I bit my lower lip. "I-I'm sorry for last night..."

No sound but a soft inhale.

"Just forget about it...I don't care about it anymore."

Stop. Don't say that. Please....

Without thinking, we were already in the room. I taking off my shoes with a pause.

He...was unpacking...

Where is the old self in him?

I want him to smile. I want him to laugh.

I'm getting...I'm getting....

"I'm going out..." I quickly put my shoes on again. "I-I'll see you later..."

"Okay..." His response.

It's okay.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I...I feel broken and dead.

It's my fault. Nothing...made sense from yesterday.

Ding!

...what...who? Who's texting me--

[Thanks for your drunk texts and voice mails.]

It's....H-H-Hidemi!!!!!

I SENT DRUNK TEXTS AND VOICE MAILS?!

Type type type!!!

[What are you talking about?!]

Ding!

[Scroll up to see your drunk texts.]

I did.

It's so bad...

Ding!

[Do you want to hear your drunk voice mails?]

Type type type!!!

[No! I don't!! Just delete them!]

Ding!

[Nope.]

Crap, I'm screwed!!

What did I even say in the voice mails?!!?

My cheeks are burning red with embarrassment.

I can't believe I really did that. I'm...ugh....I'm really going crazy....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm...just hanging out in the dorm's kitchen. I'm still remembering what happened last night.

....he says he doesn't care about it anymore. I should do the same...

"Oh...hey..."

His voice cuts into my thoughts.

"H-Hey!" I shuffle in my seat. "Wh-What are you doing here..."

Hidemi went to the vending machine. "Chips..." He pops coins in and gets it. "Are you coming back?"

I shook my head. "No..."

"Okay...bye."

"Wait!"

Hidemi stops and looks at me. "What...?"

"I want to talk to you about last night!" I shout.

Hidemi's eyes cast down. "Dude, it's okay. It doesn't really matter what happened last night--"

"Well, I want to talk about it!"

He sighs. "Fine...what is it?"

I didn't know how to start. What should I say first? It was my fault....what, no no...

"What is it, Hyun Oh? Say it." His voice gets stricter.

I covered my forehead. I feel like crying but I just can't. "I....I....I don't hate you...."

"Dude...you don't really need to tell me that."

I looked up at him.

I never seen him like this before....

He's annoyed. "If we're done, I'll be going." He turns to leave.

"No, I'm not!" I slammed the table with my palm. "Stop ignoring me!"

Hidemi turns his head to look. "Fine. What else?"

"Th-That night when we met up at the park..." I muttered. "...I-I wanted to tell you about what I felt..."

He stays quiet.

"I wanted to tell you that I'm not scared of you because you're bi...." I began talking louder. "And....I'm really sorry if I do sound like I don't like you...because...I d-don't...."

I can't look at him. I can't.

What the--?!

I looked up quickly and see Hidemi holding his phone. He stares at me.

"sNIFF--Hidemi!"

Is...is that me...

"Why aren't you answering me? I thought you liked me! That's why you kissed me...."

I could hear myself...crying...

"Pleasee....sniff--answer me. I really like you. I do...I'm sorry for being scared of you...I'm nooottttt---"

"HYUN OH! Stop calling him! He's not--OW WHAT THE--!!"

"Kenn!! Stop and go get a life! I need to tell him how I feell--!!"

I quickly looked up at him. Hidemi, his face has no expression.

"Why...did you keep denying your feelings?" He asks.

I couldn't answer.

Silence.

Exhale. "I want you to know that I liked in the beginning when you first kissed me."

What?

"That night when you got drunk by those girls, I'm sorry that happened. But...when you somehow...kissed me...I liked it." His voice sounded serious. "Then again...I felt like I raped you. I didn't like it so I stopped...I never wanted you that way."

Hidemi's voice turns soft. "But...I kept kissing you at some points...because...well, your lips are soft to be honest."

M-My lips are soft?!

He coughs and clears his voice. "I don't know...I didn't want you to feel harassed by me. But...I felt you liked me...then again, that day when I ate food with you at your grandparents' house...somehow it made me felt like you didn't like it at all. It was an accident to kiss you in the first place."

I slowly looked up at him.

A weak smile along with stiffness. "Anyways...I always felt like you didn't like gays in the first place. Sigh...even so, that night when I touched your head...I think that triggered it back."

Please. Don't say that...

"Would it be sad that if I said I've been trying to get rid of these feelings for you ever since I came back to Tokyo?" He exhales.

...you....have...?

A droplet comes down.

He sighs again. "I guess it would be sad...huh? I'm sorry. I think it's for the best..."

So...all this time...he had been holding back while I was the one hurting him....

No...No...come back, Hidemi....please.

Please....I'm sorry...

I'm sorry

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I don't want to go back.

I'm...just scared to face him. I'm hurt. I'm crying. I'm broken.

I'm...heartbroken because of myself.

Ding Ding Ding!

What....who...is it...?

I pressed yes.

...

It's....Kyo Hye...

Why...why is he texting me...

How did he get my number...the hell....

Type type type

[How did you get my number?]

Ding!

[Oh, I didn't think you'll answer.]

Type type type

[What do you want?]

Ding!

[I just want to visit mom and dad. Even you. Is that fine?]

Type type type

[I don't want to see you.]

Ding!

[Why are you still like this? Why are you still scared of me?]

[Is it because I'm gay?]

...yeah....

Type type type

[Don't bother me. I'm going to block you.]

Ding!

[Heh. Hyun Oh, stop ignoring your hyung. Can't you talk with me?]

Type type type

[I don't want to. I'm not in the mood...]

Ding!

[What happened?]

Type type type

[I'm not telling. I'm blocking you now.]

Ding!

[Just for you to know...I'm engaged. Heh, I think we should meet."

...

Type....type type...

[Okay.]