That night...

Ding!

[Text.]

...stupid. He took my words literally...

Type type type...

[...wow.]

Ding!

[I'm still at work, we're organizing the photos.]

If Cindy heard this, she would be asking so many questions...

Type type type...

[You were working with idols, right?]

Ding!

[Right. I met them last summer and they wanted me to finish college. They just debuted.]

Type type type...

[That's amazing...]

[So, are you just their photographer?]

Ding!

[I don't really know. I'm the editor, photographer, camera man, staff, etc. I take many roles...]

I don't really see him like this...wow...

Type type type...

[You seem to be working very hard. You looked stressed."

Ding!

[It has been forever. The director wanted me to take more shots but I didn't really understand what he meant. I had to ask the staff workers what he meant.]

[Also...the idols, they're my friends so it's a little weird to take their photos when they matured psychically.]

What does he mean by that??

Type type type...

[What do you mean?]

Ding!

[They're better looking, some of them matured but they act the same. I didn't know what to say to them when I first saw them again.]

Type type type...

[What did you say?]

Ding!

[I said, "Damn, you look more hot." I meant it as a joke but he started to flex. They did look better than last year tho.]

Type type type...

[Are you checking them out?]

...

Ding!

[Lol, dub. I'm not really attracted to them. They're too good-looking.]

Type...type...type...

[Then...how about me?]

...crap...I...sent it....

Ding!

[I don't know. I'm not really attracted to a lot of people. ¯_(ツ)_/¯]

...hmmm....

Type type type...

[Oh, okay...]

Ding!

[What I mean is, I don't really care how people look. I don't judge much...]

[That's probably why I have bad taste... =v=||| ]

Pft...heh....

Type type type...

[That reminds me, did you eat the kimchi?]

Ding!

[Still at work, lol.]

Oh that's right...

Ding!

[And, I don't really like kimchi.]

...seriously?

Type type type...

[You are really missing out.]

Ding!

[Haha, that's what my friends said. I'll get used to kimchi tho.]

Type type type...

[You should try grandma's kimchi. It's good.]

Ding!

[Is she going to yell at me if I don't?]

Type type type...

[I'll tell you if you don't.]

Ding!

[HAHAH! Wow, fine. I'll do it after I get back from work. Hopefully Jeremy didn't eat all the kimchi.]

Type type....type....

[Jeremy?]

Ding!

[Yeah...he really likes kimchi. Lol, I'll text him that I want some.]

...

Ding!

[...he ate it all...]

...I'm not surprised. Ugh...

Type...type...type...

[Oh...really?]

Ding!

[Lol, he's probably kidding.]

Ding!

[Yep. He's kidding. I got a message from Manager.]

...Manager...that guy...

Type type type type type type....

[The blond guy? Why do you call him manager?]

Ding!

[He is my manager. I kept calling him manager for a long time....and I forgot his real name... 0=0||| ]

Type type type...

[Oh...]

I don't like them...is that bad?

Ding!

[Gtg, bye!]

Type....type....

[Bye...]

...

I...I don't know. I didn't really know what to feel at the moment.

Eun Cho...is sleeping, he woke up an hour before dinner and we played together. Right now, it's almost 11 pm and everyone is busy.

...I don't want to sleep tonight.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Welcome to Dream Land!

Where all your fantasies come true and advice that you don't want comes in!

Dream show #10489712

"Do...I mean--are you really scared of me?"

Hidemi stands near, his face is hidden by his hoodie. He holds himself back and breathes deeply. As if...he was in pain.

I shook my head. "I-I'm not scared of you!"

"Th-Then, wh-why are you always acting like you hate me?" He touches his hair and ruffles it.

I step up closer to him. "I don't hate you...."

"Then stop acting like you do!" He looks at me.

His...his face was...gray. Plain. No eyes, nose or lips...

I back away and hit the wall.

"Admit it! I know! You're scared of people like me! People who like the same sex! People who are different! People who want to be happy but are put down!!" He shouts.

I...I slide down the wall, I'm sitting in fear and staring up at him.

A smile drew up as if he drew it on his face. "Be afraid...I like it when everyone is afraid..." He smiles with blood chucking down.

I cover my mouth. I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry. It's...disgusting...!!!

"What? Are you a little baby? It's just blood. Are you still scared? What if I kissed you with this blood?" Hidemi kneels down and grabs my chin.

I tried to turn away. I'm trying so hard to cover my mouth. But...I'm so weak. In this dream....

Now...it's like his eyes were carved into his head and blood was being poured out from the socket.

"Are you....still scared?"

The closer he got, his bloody face already on my clothes.

THANK Y-

!????????????????????????????????????????????????

AWAKE AWAKE MODE ON!!!!

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

"Hyun-ah, Hyunah, don't cry. Don't cry."

I wiped my eyes and see grandma. She was holding Eun Cho who was crying. Her worried face was fixed on me.

I sniff and hug her. She takes her hand and pats my head. "Hyun-ah...what were you dreaming about?"

I shook my head. I don't want to tell. I don't want to tell I don't want to tell-!!

"If it's about that one word...it's okay...." Grandma moves her hand on places in on my back. "I heard Eun Cho crying...even you...."

So...that's what happened. I take my arms off of her waist and look at her. Wiping my tears, I sniff as I look down. "I'm sorry...."

"It wasn't your fault...it was naturally fear...." She pats my hair. She moves my bangs from blocking my eyes. "Your eyes reminds me of your big brother..."

...him....why...?

She smiles so sadly, "Your mother did not tell me what happened to him...neither did your father." Grandma....I'm so sorry....

"Are you not going to tell me what happened to him?" She sounds...as if she was going to cry.

I shook my head.

I...I promised mom and dad I wouldn't tell grandma...and grandpa....and...aunty and even Cindy....

No one will know. Not even Eun Cho will know about his older brother that isn't me. I'm...just the middle child...

Grandma didn't make a sound. She places her hand on my head and caresses my hair.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's...it's the end of the week....

I didn't talk to Hidemi for the entire week. Grandma hasn't spoken about what happened that other night.

I take Eun Cho out to the park. He doesn't know how to walk still.

"Could...could you say hyung?" I look at him.

He sticks his tongue out and laughs, "Eyung...."

"No, you should say hyung." I poked his cheek.

He laughs. Eun Cho looks around and snuggles in my neck.

I can't help but smile. Eun Cho always makes me smile when I'm sad. He knows it too...

...

Ding!

[Hey...]

Ah...umm....it's Hidemi.

I put Eun Cho in his stroller. I look at my phone.

Should...should I respond?

Type....type....type....

...delete delete....delete....

...type type type type type

[Hi. How was work? Are you leaving this week?]

Ding!

[Work was fine and yes, I am leaving. Today actually....]

...he's...leaving...

Type type type...delete delete delete...type type type....

[Oh. Then I'll see you at the end of summer break.]

Ding!

[Yeah...]

[I'll see you at the end of summer break.]

...but...but I don't want you to go...

I want to tell you something. I can't though....

Ding!

[Do you want to meet up?]

Type type type type....

....d....delete....d...delete....delete delete delete...

Type type....

[I'm busy.]

...no...I'm not...

[I'll see you back at the dorms.]

It's too long from now.

Ding!

[Oh...okay...]

...

I...I don't want him to go...I want him to stay. I should've said the truth...

His...his manager is right....

"Hey....Kim."

I looked to my left.

It's...really his manager...wow....

"What do you want?" I asked and looked away.

He walks over and leans down. "Just saying hey, what are you up to?"

"Nothing..." I groaned. I don't want to look at him.

Manager scoffs, "You sound like those teenagers going through rebellion..." He stands up straight. "Hidemi has been busy if you wanted to--"

"I know." I cut him off. I take a look at him. "I...I don't care..."

He stares at me and pushes me over to sit down on the bench.

"Your voice says not." He sighs. "Why are you lying to yourself?"

"What are you saying...I'm not lying..."

He clicks his tongue and shakes his head, "I hang out with younger children. I know when they're lying to themselves. And...to me." He looks at me. "Thanks for the kimchi. Hidemi liked it."

"He did...?"

Manager nods and sighs, "Yep...even though he's a foreigner, he likes spice..."

...

"He's leaving today..."

"I know."

"...will you miss him?"

"I don't...know..."

"...is there something bothering you?"

"...ye--no...I...I don't know...."

...

He gets up. He groans and sighs, "With your actions and denying words, your feelings are beyond to see his."

He looks at Eun Cho and smirks. "Compare to this baby, he can show his feelings easily and cries it out. Can you?" Manager yawns and waves goodbye to Eun Cho. "I want to let you know that what you're doing is going to affect how he acts around you. Bye."

He waves goodbye. He walks away.

...

If...if he hasn't noticed, I would be crying the whole time.

From the beginning of lying to Hidemi that I was busy, I was crying.

My eyes were holding large tears ready to fall and ready to drip down.

I...I keep crying. Too much. I can't handle this.

I can't handle this.

Why?

Why am I crying?

Stop....stop....st....stopp....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ding!

[Hey!]

Ding!

[I want you to know that I really like you.]

Ding!

[Heh, I'm kidding.]

Ding!

[Make sure to be happy when you can. Heh.]

Ding!

[Can you guess who I am?]

Ding!

[Heh...sorry for running away from mom and dad...even you.]

Ding!

[Just want you to know that I still love you. I miss you all.]

Ding!

[And...I'm coming home.]