I laid down.

Ugh...

I turned myself and looked at Eun Cho. I sigh. This little boy makes everything better. I pinched his cheek, he wouldn't budge. I clicked my tongue, he wouldn't budge.

Hmph. He's adorable...

A..adorable...like cute...reminding me of kawaii...which goes to...HIDEMI CALLING ME CUTE IN JAPANESE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I grabbed my pillow and stuffed my face in it. "MPUNCPHONDO!!!!"

Eun Cho didn't wake up.

I gulped. My cheeks are burning my face.

Why did he even kiss me?! No no no no wait!!

He said he was sorry on that day! The day that we...we...!!!!!!!!!

No no no no no!!! T-TOO DIRTY!!

EUN CHO, HELP ME KEEP MY SANITY!!

Gaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!

Ding!

[Night.]

H...Hidemi...

Type type type type....

[Did you make it safe?]

Ding!

[Yeah...]

His texting seems off.

[Are you okay?]

Ding!

[Yeah...]

...hmm....

[Really?]

Ding!

[Yeah...]

STOP SAYING YEAH YEAH YEAH!!!!!!

[Stop giving me one word answers!!]

Ding!

[Okay.]

DAMNIT!!!

Ding!

[This is his manager, btw.]

...Fuck.

Type type type...

[The man with blonde hair, right?]

Okay, I got this. Try to act cool....

Ding!

[Yeah.]

Ding!

[Hidemi is in the bathroom at the moment.]

He..he is...?

Ding!

[Did anything happen before he left your place?]

...Yeah...

Type Type Type...

[Yes....he just ate quickly and went off.]

Ding!

[Really? From what I heard, he kissed you and got scared.]

WHAT THE-?! HIDEMI, WHY?!?!?

TYPE TYPE TYPE!!!!!!!!!!

[HE TOLD YOU, DIDN'T HE?!]

Ding!

[Yeah.]

Ughhhh....noooo

[I'm not gay tho...]

I texted his Manager. He didn't respond within the text. He saw it.

...

Ding!

[That's disappointing.]

I...I didn't know what to say back.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

WELCOME TO DREAM LAND!

WHERE ALL YOUR FANTASIES COME TRUE AND ADVICE THAT YOU DON'T WANT COMES IN!

Dream show #10489709

"Can you imagine that he was never there in the beginning?"

"What?"

"Do tell, Kim Hyun Oh~ What if he wasn't there in the beginning?"

"What if he never existed?"

"What are you talking about?!"

"Guess, Kim Hyun Oh. You were always homophobic in the beginning. Heh he, you were always afraid."

"Shut up!"

"Guess who I am, Kim Hyun Oh....please...guess~"

What...wait...!!

"Anyoung, Kim Hyun Oh. Heh, you have grown up so fast."

...It's...my...big...brother, wh-what...?

"Do you still fear me after middle school? Do you still hate me after I left home and went after my love? Does mom and dad still hate me after I left just to get married to a guy?"

"SHUT UP!!! G-GO AWAY!!!"

"Why are you even crying? I thought you were a big boy, I always thought you were smart and understanding. I guess not. I guess you were afraid like mom and dad."

"I guess that you were always like them. The homophobic who were always afraid of being gay. Being a lesbian. Being someone else..."

"Heh, it does hurt to see mom and dad only accept you as being gay."

"I'M NOT FUCKING GAY!! GET THE FUCK-!"

"Then who's he?"

...he's...pointing to H..Hidemi...

Hidemi smiles weakly. He shrugs, "I'm sorry...I didn't mean to get you scared of me..." He puts...his hand at the back of his neck and chuckled. He looks up at me with a poor look, "...I...I didn't mean to..."

THANK YOU FOR WATCHI-

WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AWAKE AWAKE MODE ON

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

I woke up.

Eun Cho was crying on top of me. He's hitting my face.

"Waahhh!!!"

I picked him up and held him. "Eun Cho, shh, don't cry..."

Eun Cho kept crying. I kept patting his back and shaking him slowly. "Shhh, ssshhhhhh...."

"Ehhh...why is there cryin-" Cindy comes in the room, she stops and stares. "...Hyun Oh..." She calls my name.

I looked up.

Cindy goes down on her knees and crawls towards us. "Are you okay? Did you see a ghost?" She touches my cheek and looks at her thumb, it's wet.

Eun Cho keeps on crying. And...I'm crying too...

...

Eun Cho fell asleep again. I wiped his tear stain as he fell asleep.

Cindy looks down. She moves her bangs to the back of her ear and looks up at me. "Hyun Oh...why were you cryin-"

"I wasn't crying." I pulled my covers up. "Go to bed, it's late..." I laid down and turned myself to the wall.

"But...you always cry when something is bothering you...." She speaks quietly. "You were always like this when we were kids."

I didn't answer.

She stays quiet for awhile. "Hyun Oh...remember that time when your brother-"

"Shut. Up." I sat up quickly and looked her in the eye. "Don't bring him up. Again, Cindy."

Cindy rolls in lips, "...do you not miss him?"

I laid back down, looking at the wall. "We shouldn't miss him after he left us."

Cindy stays quiet. "Don't say that...he's your brother. He's my cousin...he never met Eun Cho and he hasn't seen grandma and papa in years...He wasn't invited to come to my dad's funeral...."

I could hear her whimpering as if she was going to cry.

"Hyun Oh,"

"What?"

"I don't know why he left us. Only you and your parents know..." Cindy sniffs and wipes her nose. "You always cried when it was about him..."

...I don't want to talk about this anymore...

"Go to bed. We're going to make kimchi tomorrow."

The noises made it clear that she left the room.

...she's right though, Eun Cho never met his oldest brother. I was always called the oldest son in the family now. Grandma and papa haven't seen him. He was never invited to see uncle's funeral, aunty and Cindy were depressed for months. I don't think he cares about us.

Why do you say that he cares about us? He doesn't care about us to come back.

...

Ding!

[Hey...are you still awake?]

Hidemi is texting me this late....?

[Yeah....]

Ding!

[Manager was on my phone, I thought he was texting you. Lol.]

...his manager deleted our conversation on his phone...

[No, he wasn't...]

Ding!

[Are you staying up late like everybody else?]

Type type type type...

[You mean like every other korean?]

Ding!

[Lol, yeah. My friends are doing it but I told them to do it outside. Hopefully, they don't get yelled at.]

Hah, yeah....

Type type type

[Can you meet me up again? At my grandparent's place?]

Ding!

[I forgot where it was...]

Of course he forgot...ugh.

[Well, let's meet at the park again. I want to talk to you.]

Ding!

[This late? Are you sure?]

Type type type

[Yeah...I just want to talk to someone...]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Same park. Same place. It was quieter too.

Hidemi sat next to me. "Do you want to talk?"

"Yeah...."

...

"Pft, this isn't talking." He chuckles.

I began to blush, "I know but I just don't know how to start it...."

"Well...let's just start simple." Hidemi smiles gently. "When I came here to visit friends, I saw the idols who I worked with. They were happy and I couldn't be happier for them."

"That's nice..." I answered.

"You sound like you're going to burst."

I looked up at him. He's leaning down, not facing me. "Look...I'm really sorry that I kissed you."

What...

"I hope that our relationship doesn't get too weird and awkward." He looks at me. He's...worried. "I know I can trust you. I know you don't spread rumors..."

...rumors...?

He sighs and covers his forehead. "I'm...I'm really sorry. I can't really control myself around you..."

I blushed more. Why....

We stayed quiet.

"Is...is this what you wanted to talk to you about?" He's still not looking at me directly. "I really wanted to clear things up..."

"Like what?"

"Well...I'm bi, actually." He answers. "I don't know really...who cares..." He shrugs.

Bi...huh, no wonder....

"I'm not going to judge..." I answered.

"Good. I like that about you...." He pats my head.

I moved away from him. He...he moves his hand slowly away from me. "S...sorry..."

...what am I doing...?

What I wanted to talk to him because of how I feel, but...I'm hurting him....

Why do I care...?

"...if you don't want to talk anymore, I should go-"

"No." I grabbed his arm. "Don't go."

He was already bothered by the fact I moved away from his hands.

Unhappy, he stayed. We stayed quiet for a long time.

...I should tell, shouldn't I?

"Hidemi-"

"Hello?" He answered...his phone...

Hidemi didn't even hear me...

"Oh, you guys are home?" He responses to the caller. "Okay, I'll come home soon..." He gets up and looks at me. "We...we didn't talk much...but I have to go.. Sorry..."

He...starts...to leave....

I stand up, "Hidemi!!"

He turns around, "...yeah?"

"C-C-C-Can you stay...j-j-just a bit longer...?" I begged.

My cheeks are burning red. I can't believe I'm begging...

"I can't..." He shakes his head. "See you back in Tokyo..."

What...wait!

I want to grab out for him. But...he's...gone...

"...bye...."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As I got home...

Ding!

An unknown number has texted you. Do you accept?

Might accept to the number.

I look at the text...

[Hello. I'm Hidemi's manager. It's funny to say that I'm waiting for Hidemi to unlock the door, but he isn't here. I'm with drunk CUPCAKE while Jeremy is holding his nephew. I deleted the conversation I had with you on Hidemi's phone. I think he would be disappointed if he found out you weren't into gays or else bisexuals. If you haven't noticed after living with him, Hidemi gets scared easily and is a child all the time. :) ]

What does this mean? Why is he texting me?

Ding!

[I also want you to know that if he finds out that you're homophobic, he'll be scared go up to you. I know that you like him because of what CUPCAKE had told me. But it seems like you're just hurting him as it goes. It's been so long since he had dated in fact, I know for a fact that he likes you. If you do continue to hurt him or else leading him to what he thinks it's going to be, you better stop. You seem like a good kid, but I highly advise you to stop hurting him and tell him the truth.]

...for a few seconds, words like these would make me think.

For seconds, I thought about what he meant to me in the first place.

...I don't know...