☾ Tacenda Matters left unspoken; best left in silence

Covered in blood and not quite sure why, I deeply and shakily inhaled the cold cave air, trying hard to get a good breath into my body. My knees were tightly pressed to my chest, while my large black and purple wings were folded around me. The light layers of feathers and fur tickled my face. My sturdy black tail was curled around my feet.

Then I heard it. Running. Yelling. The barking of hounds.

“Where did he go?!” A woman cried. “Did you lose the scent?”

“He had to have forded the river,” a young man replied.

“Wren!”

“Ethyn, you should be resting!”

“Please, let me talk to him. I’m fine, I promise. Waylon said it’s only a crack, I’m fine! I need to talk to him. He’ll listen to me. But if he sees you and your dogs coming, he’ll panic! You know he will. You know how he is after these things.”

Ethyn? The name and voice sounded familiar. The image of black hair and vibrant purple eyes and the poof of purple shimmers tickled the back of my mind. Slowly, I came back to myself.

“Elkan? It’s just me now! Don’t worry, I’m okay!”

I looked up to see the faint light of the torch he carried. The orange and yellow flame flickered as he entered the small cavern. I tried to disappear into the shadows, desperately attempting to curl up even tighter.

“Hey, there,” Ethyn slowly approached, sitting across from me and putting his flaming torch on the floor nearby. His arm was splinted with wood and rested in a cloth sling. “Don’t worry, I’m fine, it’s just a little crack. Serenity was wrong to talk to you like that. They all were. None of it is your fault. Here, I brought you some food and new clothes,” he shrugged off his knapsack and gently pushed it towards me.

Even from where I sat cuddled in the crack of the cave wall, I could smell the wet meat. My stomach grumbled.

“Give it to someone who needs it,” I mumbled, voice weak.

“Elkan…,” Ethyn sighed. “Please, eat.”

After a moment, I slowly uncurled and pulled the knapsack close. I opened it and pulled out the smaller leather bag filled with a few fish. The moment I smelled the familiar scent, I was eagerly gulping it down.

“I’ll never understand how you can eat meat raw like that,” Ethyn shuddered. “I can only assume it’s part of your… other part.” He motioned to my dark purple wings, horns, and tail. “How much do you remember?”

I paused, thinking, then shook my head. I glanced at his broken arm.

“Oh, don’t worry, Waylon says it’s just a crack and some bruising,” Ethyn scooted closer, trying to reassure me.

The torch was beginning to die out. Ethyn glanced between me and the dying flame, clearly expecting me to do something. I hesitated, swallowing some more fish. I took a deep breath, feeling the heat begin to rise in my throat. I cupped my hands around my mouth. I sucked in another breath of air, then blew. The fire spit from my mouth to the torch, lighting it aflame. My throat burned from the embers, but it was a good kind of burning. The kind that reminded me that I was still alive.

Ethyn smiled. His eyes glimmered amber in the yellow blaze. The fire flickered against the walls, shadows slithering up and down the stone like snakes. “You should get dressed. You…. Well, I was going to say you must be cold but…,” he motioned to my wings still covering me, as well as the fire lighting the torch.

I nodded, glancing down at my body.

I was still covered in blood.

I felt my breath catch in my throat, and tears burned my eyes. I let them fall, softly whimpering and shaking.

Eventually, I was able to choke out, “Wh-who d-did I…. Who d-did I h-hurt?”

“...Marek,” Ethyn mumbled. “It was… messy. B-but, don’t worry, Stefan knows it was an accident. He knows you would never hurt Marek ‒ or anyone ‒ like that. And he’s told off Serenity and the others; they’re on patrol duty now.”

“Wh-wh…. H-how…?” I didn’t have enough strength to speak.

“It’s…. It’s pretty bad,” Ethyn gently told me. He looked down, obviously not wanting to share anything else. “Get dressed. We don’t have to go back just yet but you must be cold, even despite your fire.”

I nodded, reaching into the knapsack to pull out the long tunic he had gotten for me. I wiggled my way out of the crevice, suddenly aware of how sore I was. I unfolded my black and purple webbed wings, stretching them out despite the soreness. I slowly stood up, leaning on the craggly wall, legs shaking. I looked down to find all the blood that dirtied my chest and arms.

Marek’s blood.

“Maybe we should get you washed up first,” Ethyn gently offered.

I could only nod, shaky and uneven. He carefully steadied me, wrapping my arm around his shoulders. I leaned on him as he guided me to the river. I slowly knelt at the edge, trembling.

Ethyn gently removed the well-worn tunic from my torso, then began wiping off the blood with a cold, wet cloth, making me shiver. I cupped my hands near my mouth, blowing some fire to warm me up. The bursts of orange flame flickered around us, lighting the cavern for brief moments.

“Elkan, lean back,” Ethyn softly said. “I need to get this blood off.”

I nodded, forcing myself to roll my purple-scaled shoulders back. With only one arm to work with, it was rather slow. The cold water dripped down my stomach and to my hips, making me shiver. The tears were drying on my cheeks, and I couldn’t stop more from falling. Ethyn tenderly shushed me, wiping off the dried blood. I wanted to hold him close. Even just holding his hand would be enough for me. I slowly reached for the back of his vest, gripping the fabric tight.

“I know,” Ethyn whispered. “Almost done.”

“Y-your arm,” I sucked in a breath. “D-did I…?”

“...Yeah,” he sighed, wiping off the last of the blood. “But there’s no need to worry about me. Waylon says it’s just a crack and some bruising. It hurts a bit, but Waylon gave me some herbs for the pain. As long as I keep it splinted, bandaged, and don’t use it, I’ll be fine.” He gently pecked my cheek, lips cold on my face.

“You sure?” I gripped his vest a bit tighter.

“I’m sure,” he smiled and nodded. “Let’s get you dressed.”

I found the strength to stand up again, leaning on him. Ethyn waited patiently as I struggled into the warm tunic he had brought for me. I shook my body to get a feel for the grey linen and wool, and to make sure my wings and tail sat comfortably. The back was covered with a layer of wool, which was held with the leather belt, to cover the bare spot between my wings. The tunic probably wouldn’t last long, especially if I got that angry again, but it was nice to have.

“D-do we have to go back now?” I whispered, messing with my hands.

“Not if you don’t want to,” Ethyn said. “I know you probably don’t remember what happened. Want me to walk you through it?”

“N-no,” I sat down on the ground. “I-I don’t want to r-remember. I-is Marek g-going to be okay? H-how badly did I…?”

Ethyn was silent for a moment. “...It…. It’s bad.”

My breath caught in my throat, “How bad?”

He bit his lip, “There…. There was a lot of blood. Waylon couldn’t even take a look at my arm until he was absolutely sure that Marek was breathing steadily.” Ethyn was silent for a moment, lost in the memories, then quickly added, “But Stefan knows it’s not your fault! He doesn’t blame you! He’s concerned for Marek, yes, but he’s also concerned for you.”

“...He shouldn’t be,” I curled up again, wings and tail wrapping around me. “If I really hurt Marek that badly…,” fresh tears came to my eyes. “By the moons, why am I even here?”

Ethyn didn’t reply, just came closer and cuddled under my wing, leaning against me. The torch was dying out, slowly leaving us in darkness.

When everything was dark, Ethyn mumbled, “Feels better this way.”

“Yeah,” I sighed.

Our eyes glowed in the darkness; his more than mine. I intertwined my fingers with his, wrapping my wings around us.

“Ethyn?” A soft voice called. “Did you find him?”

Wren’s glowing grey-white eyes appeared in the dark tunnel. The rest of her body was practically invisible. She slowly stepped forward, staring at us. I pulled my knees up and wrapped my wings a bit tighter around me and Ethyn.

“Hey, Elkan,” she softly said, crouching a few paces away. “How are you feeling?”

“Go ‘way,” I mumbled.

“I cleaned him up,” Ethyn told her, “and he ate all the fish. How’s Marek?”

“Waylon says he’ll live,” Wren said. “Although… he’s cold. Really cold. We had to bundle him up in a lot of blankets just to keep him breathing, and he’ll need supervision for at least a few days.” She looked at me, “Stefan understands that none of it was your fault. The others were wrong to provoke you like that.”

I couldn’t find the words to reply. I couldn’t even find it in me to believe her.