Am I stupid? Definitely not. I’m just… kinda unlucky. Is that even the right word? No. More like cursed. Yeah. That’s the word. Except not literally cursed. It just fudging feels like I’m cursed. 

“What is it Crow? Don’t like the confetti?” Julian asks with that big dumb grin on his face. I wish I could punch that grin right off him. 

“Why the fudge would you think I like confetti?” I hiss at him. 

“Who doesn’t like confetti? It’s colorful and fun! Come on, don’t be so serious… Five years in jail and you've become such a sourpuss — oh, wait, you were always a sourpuss.” Julian laughs and slaps Aiden on the shoulder. 

“Fudge you,” I mumble before I walk out of the dining room. Fudge them all… I don’t want confetti. I want my old room back. I want my life back. 

I don’t remember anything from those five years, they tell me I killed people — that I went wild. It doesn’t make sense. Nothing makes sense. I was twelve, then I blink and suddenly I’m seventeen. A whole chunk of my life is gone. 

Fudge. 

I run up the stairs to the top floor of the mansion, my room is nestled right at the end of the hallway. How I missed the view at night. There were no stars down underground in the vampire prison…

I’m gonna sit here and wait for night… For the stars… For eternity to spread out before me again. I am an island, I have always been an island. 

I lie back on my bed, staring up at the ceiling. At least my room is unchanged. I keep staring at the same spot, wondering what life would have been if I didn’t black out for five years. 

After a while I hear a soft knock on my room door, “Go away,” I yell out. 

The door opens anyway, “I’m sorry,” Julian says as he enters and sits at the edge of the bed. 

“I said go away,” I grumble and scowl at him. 

Julian smiles at me, “Grumpy as ever… Look, I know I got a bit overly excited with your welcome back party. I couldn’t help it. I’m happy that you’re back. I need my little brother around so I can torment him,” he says jokingly. 

“You would be grumpy too if you were me,” I mumble and look away. 

Julian flips his long, golden hair and laughs, “Me? I am never grumpy. I would probably be pissed off though, and I would have loved a welcome home party with confetti.” 

“Whatever. I just wanna be alone for a while…” I sigh, wanting to kick him out, but at the same time it feels good that he is the same. 

“Fine. Take some time… I brought you some cake though. Mr. Fitz’s special double chocolate cake. Used to be your favorite, right?” Julian puts the cake down on my bedside table and leaves the room as quietly as he entered it. 

“This sucks,” I exclaim loudly and sit up. 

The cake looks the same. I wonder if it tastes the same… Of course it would taste the same, Mr. Fitz is a perfectionist, everything he does is to the same perfection. 

I pick up the cake and shove some into my mouth, it does taste the same. I melt a little at the comfort. Why can’t everything be this comforting? When will I get back to normal? Any time now would be nice…

I lie back on the bed again, closing my eyes as I wait for night — imagining a sky full of stars above my head. One star twinkles brighter than the rest, its bright light reaching for me. I can feel its warmth, its beauty. 

And I tumble out of bed, landing on the floor with a crash. I rub my head, and glance at the windows. It’s dark already, I must have fallen asleep. Fudging chocolate cake making me so comfortable. 

The sky looks dark and cloudy, I wanted to see stars. Fudge the sky. I’m not staying in here if there are no stars. I’m gonna go to Starlight Hills. 

I peek out the door before closing it back again. I better go out the window, I might run into my sister Vera who will tell me to stay in and stay out of trouble if I go through the mansion. 

Going out the window is easy enough, there’s a small roof underneath, and from there it’s easy enough to leap down. I’m a vampire after all. I can take a fall.  

I climb down carefully, not making a sound. The ground looks further than I remember it. Shouldn’t it be the other way around since I’m taller now? Whatever, I make a jump for it, failing miserably to land on my feet. Some vampire I am. Julian would probably land in the most elegant way if he had made the jump. 

I shake my head — my short, messy, black hair becoming even messier. I climb over the fence and walk down the street, it’s gonna take me a while to get to Starlight Hills. Why didn’t I ask for some money at least? Fudge. I could have taken the bus… Unless… Unless I could still take the bus, but not sit inside it. As long as no one sees me, right? 

I wait for the bus until I see it approaching, I have to time this somehow. Except I’m not some mastermind… I think I overestimated how stealthy I can be, and the size of the bus. Nope. I’m not even going to try. People will definitely see me jumping onto the roof of the bus. 

I abandon my foolish ideas and walk, even if it takes me the whole night. I should have asked for money. 

As I wander the streets, the houses become larger and larger. Starlight Hills is a fancy area, where all the specially designed houses are, and pretty much where the elite of Dawn lives. I don’t care about all that though. What Starlight Hills also has is a big old oak tree. It’s the most beautiful old tree with thick branches perfect for climbing. Lastly, it's the darkest place in Dawn — being on a hill, not as near the city, you can see all the stars on a cloudless night. 

I’ve always loved coming up here. Usually I would take the bus though. Fudging money. I stop and gaze up at the tree as I finally reach it hours later. How I’ve missed this. Well, at least for the few months after I became conscious again. Five years are missing, to me it’s only been six months. Those months were miserable though. 

I sit back against the tree, feeling the bark against the back of my head. The sky has cleared and I can see the stars again. Tears push to come out, I can’t stop it. It’s me and the eternity of the sky. It overwhelms me. 

“Wow, I didn’t know the stars could make people cry?” She teases from the street, the girl with the silver hair. 

I glance at her, wiping my tears. She is like a star herself, “Fudge you,” I grumble. 

“I’m just teasing ya,” she chuckles and sticks out her tongue. 

What’s with this annoying girl? I just wanna watch my stars in peace. “Get lost. Can’t you see I’m having a moment here?” I shout at her. 

She pushes her long silvery hair aside, “Yeah, but no. I’m having a moment too. Or is having a moment only reserved for you?” 

I wanna say something, but decide it’s not worth it. I gaze back at the sky instead, trying to ignore the girl. Why is she here? She’s not even looking at the sky… She looks like she’s searching for someone, or something. Fudge. Just stay out of it, Crow, and look at the pretty stars. 

“You gonna stay here long?” She suddenly asks. 

“Yes. All night,” I grunt and scowl at her, “Why?” 

“Nothing, just asking. Maybe I sort of need you to go,” she says and looks away. 

“Go? I’m not going,” I hiss at her, what is her problem? 

Before she can answer I hear a sound, a rustling in the bushes behind the tree. She perks up, glaring intently at the bushes as if she’s anticipating something. 

With a snarl a vampire taken over by the blood jumps out of the bushes. He looks wild, almost savage, like he’s ready to pounce. She glances back at me with a worried look as she reaches into her coat pocket. 

What does she pull out? A fudging gun. A hunter’s weapon. I know what they look like, they have a weirdly glowing tint to them due to the magical enchantments. She’s fudging working for the Geirmund — the vampire hunters. Am I a lost cause?