“Cynthia?”

My head perks up at the sound of her voice. Her red eyes shine with worry, ears twitching as she crouches. 

I’m sitting in the darkest part of the forest, my special place. My sanctuary. This is the first time I’ve seen her come here, and the shock mutes me for a few moments. 

It’s true that Ezi has come here searching for me before, but only him. Yet now Kami is here. Her gaze is focused only on me, not the hundreds of patterns surrounding us carved into the trees. 

I’m not sure whether to be thankful or mortified. The Wind Spirit extends her hand and I take it despite not needing the help to stand. If it were anyone else, I’d brush them off. But this is Kami. 

“Why did you come here?” I ask, words guarded. 

Her ears droop at my distant tone. “Because I’m aware of your agony.”

“You aren’t, Kami!” I try to turn and walk off, but she grabs my hand. I growl softly but the stubborn Spirit just squeezes tighter. Despite myself, I find the gesture comforting. Like hell am I going to admit that though. 

“We’ve all suffered at the hands of humanity. Certainly, you are the only individual with… lost pieces, but we all feel pain.” Her voice causes my shoulders to relax. 

I finally turn to her, murmuring. “So, why then? Why are you all welcoming her? We’re all going to suffer again. It’s not like she’s some uvallian, Kami! Something is wrong about her seeing us! Besides, she’s hiding something.”

“I can’t argue that it is strange, but the fact remains that Amanda can see us, Cynthia. Besides, humanity was once able to communicate with us just as well as the uvallians can. You know that as well as the rest of us. Cynthia, can’t you see what it means that there is a human that can do so again? Maybe the girl can be a bridge for us all. We could peacefully stop their destructive ways, if only they could talk to us!”

I growl deep in my chest. “You know damn well that Ezi and I have no memories from the time before the war. How am I supposed to believe in something that I’ve never experienced?”

“I remember peace! Not clearly, and not from this cycle certainly, but from before. Before this cursed war between our kind and the Life Spirits! We existed in harmony.”

“And what species was it that ruined that harmony, Kami?” I ask coldly. “It’s humanity’s fault that we’re in this damn mess! But they don’t even know it! If they hadn’t gone and pissed off the Life Spirits, none of this would be happening! The cycles would be over by now and we could finally go back to normal and not be stuck looking like… like them!” I gesture at my own body, so human in appearance. Too human. “People make other species go extinct, pollute the world, and treat life like a commodity. If humans just behaved and stayed in their place, there would be no war among Spirits! I don’t even understand why Mother makes us defend their kind! What good comes from them?”

“That is not the point of our conflict, and you know that, Cynthia! The Life Spirits are trying to extinguish a species for extinguishing other species. It’s hypocritical. Absolutely, humans need to be more controlled, but you make the mistake that every single one of them is evil and corrupt when that is not the case. Most are innocent bystanders with power stripped away from them by the greedy and corrupt. Yes, humanity as a species is misled, but they themselves are harmed and worthy of pity. They must be guided, not eradicated as the Life Spirits believe!”

“I know, Kamiko!” I snap. “Damn it all, I know! But don’t you think humans have gone far enough that maybe - just maybe - they deserve some of that pain? Hell, look at Ezi and I! The last of our kinds! What if humans had something to do with that?”

“Cynthia, that goes against logic. The rest of your kinds vanished 500 years ago. Humanity hasn’t been able to see us for millenia. The timing simply doesn’t work.” Kami takes my silence as invitation to continue. “And are you not aware of what a miracle you two even are? Well all thought the Shadows were gone forever. But then Ezi arrived, bringing the light back to this world. Then a decade later-”

“Me,” I sigh. “I know the stories of the Twilight Era. Wish everyone would stop reminding me.”

“Why? Cynthia, it is no secret that you’re the most powerful Elemental to ever appear in this place since the inception of the cycles severely limited our powers. You and Ezi coming back to us - and now this human - I believe these are signs of hope.”

“I’m sorry, Kami, but I just can’t make myself feel the same,” I mutter, turning away from her. 

Even after Kami leaves and I return to my cave, I still can’t relax. I know I should, but I just can’t do it. The human penetrates my thoughts, like an infection. Besides, it’s nighttime. Even with being awake all day, I can almost never stay still at night. 

I get up and leave my cave. Looking up at the canopy of trees, the stars and three full moons shining down. They’re always full here. But it’s all fake, of course. This realm is one of our own making. It’s obvious just from looking around that it’s all false. There are no distinct lines here compared to the mortal realm. Everything is blurred and has a distinct shine or lack of colour to it. But it’s more comfortable here, without all those overwhelming details and too many emotions and the thoughts that exist in the mortal realm. But I don’t want to be here right now. I leave my cave and open a portal. 

I come back to the exact place where we found the human. I stare at the spot that she sat crying. Why? Why the hell can she see us? I put my fingers to my lips, deep in thought as my tail swings. I know that Kami’s words are true. But I can’t shake this feeling of dread. 

In this moment, I realize something: I’m scared of the girl. I start shaking, holding my arms to steady myself. But it’s fruitless. 

Hot pain sears where my left eye once was and I let out a moan of pain. When I left my hand to touch the damage, I gasp. It’s slight, maybe only a few millimeters, but the scar is larger. I keep prodding it, dumbfounded. 

Sure, it isn’t enough that I’m the only Shadow and the only Elemental with a wound that never heals, but now the scar is somehow growing?

I’m a freak. A monster. 

I start walking again, towards the human civilization I sense nearby. Must be the one the girl came from. A city in the country of Krazde. The fact that this place is her homeland is just another kick in the teeth. 

I gaze around when I arrive. Even at night, the city is busy. Pedestrians walk, cars honk. I look up to see no stars, only smog and unnatural light. The beauty of the night world has been ruined by humans. 

How the hell do they live with themselves, knowing how toxic they are? The pain grows, consuming me. The corner of my mind still able to think goes back to my conversation with Kami. 

She’s right, of course. Humanity has no way to cause the fading of so many Elemental Spirits. Something else must have caused the mass destruction of Lights and Shadows. Something must have made it so that only Ezi and I reincarnated at the end of our last cycles. We always come back, it’s the will of our Mother. So how could the chain possibly be broken? And why only our elements?

Our numbers have been steadily declining for a long time now. While there were once a thousand of each element, now there’s only about a hundred. Sure, it was only lesser Spirits vanishing over the course of thousands of years. At least, that’s what I’ve been taught. But what happened to my kind was different. All gone in a flash, without a trace. Then Ezi and I show up 500 years later, far beyond the power of even higher Spirits. 

Why the gap?

Where are the others?

How did we fade?

Why the Shadow and Light?

I know that both elements vanished over the course of 24 hours, but that’s it. It’s a mystery. 

No one even remembers much about them. It’s true that no Elemental under Mother’s command is old enough to remember seeing them personally, though maybe there’s a rogue or two out there who’s met a Shadow or Light. But most Elementals remember at least fragments of their past selves. Yet no one seems to know anything, including Ezi and I. We remember nothing. Why?

Hell, no one even knows what Ezi’s trait as a Light is. All Elementals have one, something that marks us as different. Once upon a time, back when we could change our shape at will, these traits would remain and mark us as something other than mortal. The trait of the Shadows is my long, inky black tail, which became obvious the moment my body was discarded. 

But Ezi? Nothing. Most assume it’s his albinism, but that seems wrong somehow. Plenty of creatures are albino, and they aren’t Light Spirits. We’re missing something. There’s some vital piece to the puzzle that we need desperately to come anywhere close to solving it. But that piece is missing. Or perhaps even being hidden from us. It’s not as if Mother is forthcoming with answers. 

One thing is certain: There is only one creature I can actually imagine having the power to accomplish the extinction of the Lights and Shadows. The same one who started this damn war, but who’s supposed to be dead. 

Rem. 

The pain grows again and I lose my train of thought.

Without being aware of it, I’ve been walking throughout all of this, my feet taking me where they wish. I find myself surrounded by buildings. Glass windows that don’t show my reflection, just darkness. Stones carved into unnatural shapes. Scents that have no right exist. 

I growl, all of it too much. Crashing down on me like a wave. I lash out at the nearest plane of glass with my tail, shattering it into tiny fragments. The sound forces me to cover my ears. Panicked, I run and strike another pane. More sounds ring out around me, shouts of fear and confusion added to the racket. Unsure of what else to do, I run the same way I came. I make a point of lashing out at each window I pass, wanting to have at least some revenge against such a hateful species.