Chapter 6.
Reflections in the Dark.
Back in my room, I collapsed on the bed, feeling the weight of reality crushing me. ¿How could I have been so foolish and stupid? All this time, I had believed that Shuhang saw me as a potential partner, only to find out that, in his heart, I was simply a magnificent friend. The pain was sharper than a bullet stabbing into my body.
Tears began to run down my cheeks as I reproached myself. ¿How could I have been so naive? ¿How could I have allowed myself to fall so deeply for someone who never saw me the same way?
I couldn't help it. I needed to talk to someone, to vent. I grabbed my phone and called Marina, even though it was the middle of the night. She answered in a sleepy voice, but upon hearing my crying, she woke up immediately.
¿Brenna? What happened? she asked, worried.
Marina, I'm an idiot, I sobbed. Shuhang... he... he only sees me as a friend. All this time, he's been thinking about another woman, Cristina. He wants me to help him get her back.
There was a moment of silence before Marina answered, her voice filled with indignation. ¿What? ¿Are you saying that he's been using you to get to another woman? Brenna, you have to come back immediately. You can't keep helping him get that whore Cristina back. That's only going to hurt you more.
But, Marina, I insisted, trying to find a reason to stay. Maybe, Cristina will reject him. And if she does, I'll be here to take her place.
Marina let out an exasperated, Brenna, ¿are you listening to yourself? You're acting stupid for a man who clearly doesn't value you as he should. You can't keep doing this to yourself.
Before I could answer, Marina hung up on me, furious. I stared at the phone, feeling a mix of sadness and frustration. I knew she was right, but my heart refused to accept the reality.
I curled up in bed, hugging my pillow as the tears continued to fall. The night felt endless, and the pain in my chest was unbearable. I knew I had to make a decision, but at that moment, all I could do was cry and regret my naivety.
Now I understood that what Marina had said many years ago was true: Indifference hurts less than forgetfulness. Maybe, if he had been sincere from the beginning, I wouldn't have misinterpreted things. But ¿how could I not misinterpret them?
The way he hugged me, the way he looked at me, the way he smiled at me, everything told me that he was in love with me. But in reality, it was all genuine appreciation, and he had never seen me in any other light.
The pain was too much to bear. I wanted to cry out loud, heartbreakingly, but I knew I was in the apartment with him. I couldn't give him any signs that I was crying, I shouldn't wake him up. I hadn't even been able to talk out loud to Marina for fear that he would hear me. But ¿what did it matter? My heart was hurt. I had spent years in love with the guy from a mailroom who saw me as a mistaken encounter.
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