Dear Pink, As we are in our final year, I was wondering what your plans were for after–

No, that's no good. It sounds weird. Why is it so formal? That's not me at all! I grumbled, tore the page from my English notebook and started again.

Pink,

Thinking about the end of school is giving me palpitations. Where are you going to college? Do you think you'd go to uni?I just hope I pass my maths and English, I can't deal with resitting them in college! 

Ugh, that sounds awful too!

I tore that page out faster than the one before and slammed my head down onto my book. Jacie's eyes were on me, I could feel her judgement.

“What was wrong with that one? I liked it.” She said, poking my ear with the end of her pen.

I knocked her away with a grumble. “I only want to know if they'll be leaving town or not! It could narrow the list down to one singular person.”

Jacie hummed with intrigue, her brows were raised, and a smile had settled between her cheeks. “So it really could be Hazel? Do you think you'd ask him out if it is?”

I sat up and took a moment to think through my answer, my eyes darted around the chatty classroom almost uncontrollably. “I, uh…I'm not sure. Maybe. Though, whoever is writing the notes doesn't seem to actually want to date me. They've said it themselves.”

“True. Honestly, relationships are overrated anyway. They cause nothing but stress and worry and anger.” She scoffed, memories definitely going through her mind.

“You guys still haven't made up?” I asked, though I was treading carefully. When Jacie got angry, she would be pissed about anything and everything. I didn't want to end up in her line of fire.

She folded her arms with a hard crease between her brows. “Has he apologised to me? No. So obviously not.”

“Have you spoken to him about how you feel? You know, other than at the fair…when you were yelling.”

Her glare was intense and set right on me. I shuddered but kept my composure. They're both my friends and I really didn't want to pick a side, even if I secretly sided with Jacie. Dan has, admittedly, been on his phone a whole lot, and talking to the rest of us a whole lot less. But I don't know why.

“No.” Jacie said. She was on the defensive because she should have spoken to Dan already, and she knew that. “Like he'd listen anyway.”

“You don't know until you try.” I said, turning back to my workbook, my last discarded note laid crumpled atop the pages.

“Whatever,” Jacie mumbled. “Just use that note. I can't look at your paper balls anymore. You have such a good love life and mine sucks ass.” Her words were harsh, but they were directed to my admittedly large pile of discarded note balls on the desk beyond my book.

After writing a few more words, I left the note in my locker during our morning break. And by the time lunch had ended, a note had been planted on my chair in maths.

I tucked it immediately into my pocket but couldn't wait for the long bus ride home to read it. My hands had a firm grasp on the note in the darkness under my table. It was just light enough to read the words written neatly on the blank paper.

Elvis,

I'll be staying local. Honestly, I have no idea what to study. Maybe I'll just grab some standard A Levels and start working in some hospitality job for the rest of my life.

But that doesn't matter, I'd much rather talk about you :]] What is your ultimate dream?

Currently, to figure out who the fuck you are.

Damn it! That's Hazel scrubbed off the list! And Hazel was one of the better people there! Though, admittedly, I'm not convinced I was truly disappointed to see his name go. Hazel's a great guy, don't get me wrong, but he'd make a great friend. I don't think…I doubt he and I would make a good couple.

Still, it's somewhat disheartening to only lose one more name from the list, when it felt like I was so close to cracking the case wide open.

I tried to conceal my dismay on the absurd chance my admirer could tell exactly what I was feeling and thinking. Plus, I was still in the middle of maths.

Where did this put me again? With 3 or 4 names left on the list? Honestly, this list idea was starting to feel like a hopeless quest that was always destined to fail. What if my admirer wasn’t even in my maths class? What if they weren’t real at all?!

Hopeless. Yes, that's exactly how I was feeling.

Extra | I redid the book cover!...again! This is the third one. And it's very green. :]