I poke his snout. He wrinkles it, “That still tickles.” I pet it gently and he starts, “Don’t poke me in the nostril or anything.” He asks. 

“You’d probably sneeze on me and I don’t want to be this close to your blast radius.”

He chuckles as I laugh once. I feel my smile fade as I realize we’re too happy and the madman is probably going to say or do something to ruin it. I look out the window anxiously and he’s still asleep facing away from the car. I relax slowly.

Emboldened I scooch closer and kiss the soft snout again, looking up, and again. I could see that he goes weak a little. He softens his voice and starts playing with the messy light brown strand falling into my face. I feel myself freeze, my heart pounds hard as dread fills me fully expecting him to pull my head forwards but he doesn’t.

“I never got to finish that conversation with you.” He lays back against the propped up pillows, wincing and momentarily reminding me that he’s still wounded, “and we got interrupted. You don’t like touch unless you initiate it right?”

I clench my jaw and nod. Still looking away because I'm salivating right now I can’t let him see how badly I want whatever this is right now. Not only that but if he reciprocated too hard I’d have to cut him off and kick him out. 'Could I even stop him? He’s so much stronger than me.' I tremble a little at the thought.

'I just wish I could tie him up.' I sigh. 'I'm just desperate because my options are him or the madman.'

I feel electricity coursing over my skin as he holds open his arms invitatingly. I think about pulling away. I don't. I groan. “What's wrong?” he asks and I lunge forwards pinning his wrists causing him to freeze. His fur bristles but he quickly flattens it. Technically I have already kissed him but not on the mouth. I’m still nervous about his sharp teeth. I also know that if he makes any move I’ll be repulsed. I should probably say something.

“D, don’t move or I’ll stop.” I sound so small. 

His eyes widen a bit more but he doesn’t move, only asking, “W, what are you doing?”

I move both hands around his neck and he starts a little. His adorable illusion is back up blushing but scared. I kind of enjoy that more. I lean forward hovering right about his real mouth. If I lunged forward and kissed the illusion I’d kiss his snout. As my hands touch and squeeze his neck he shivers. I distinctly remember being in the spot he is now. I stop. I can’t. I jerk away and lay against his side facing away and trying to sleep. He eventually relaxes to sleep too.

I feel sick. I'm disturbed. ‘Why did I go to choke him? What’s wrong with me?’ I sit up after a while. He sits up as well a little doubled over, the pain still affecting him and yet I still want to do it. I notice him look up and see me staring. I should look away. I eventually feel my eyes flick away more out of habit than anything. 

He starts to leave and then pauses looking back, “I can go.” I search for any anger or disgust before I lean forward again. 

“No, no. Only if you want to.” I curl up a little but he immediately turns back. 

“I don’t want to.” He looks at me, “You said I could tell you to stop. You have to trust me that I’ll do that, okay?”

I look at him confused. 

“I won’t let you hurt me.” He clarifies and realization strikes me. I feel a little excited smirk and push him down. He lets out an oof as I pin him down flat and that sick grin returns on my face which I lower my head to hide then I shove my mouth against his, hard. It’s weird at first. He makes an mph and tries to lift his hands but after a second relaxes kissing back. I pant and desperately grab at his neck again but he whispers, “Wait.” 

I tense, jerking up terrified I’d done something wrong but he’s confused and turned on. I wait for another second and checking to make sure we are still the only ones awake, lean back down and kiss him very gently. Confused about my own feelings and the urge to withstrain or hurt him. He arches his back a little moaning in a mixture of pain and pleasure. My weight on his ribs. The sound's driving me crazy. 

I gasp a little like I’m hyperventilating and then return my hands around his throat, choking him harder then before as I kiss him, the feeling of his gasping as he struggles to breathe sends a tingle of pleasure from the back of my head all the way down my spine. Warmth in places that usually scared me. Then he makes a noise like a whimpering moan. 

I feel his hips buck and terrified I let go, hand clenching my knife in case he loses control. He just gasps for air looking away embarrassed. He sees the knife and stiffens but I don’t put it away, hands shaking.

“Are you scared of me or-”

“Not what you are but what you could do.” I sooth my wrist gently and then biting my lip, nod to the car door. “You should probably go. I'm a little…confused and I might stab you.” 

I don’t know why but I cry into my pillow and then finally pass out after he leaves.

In the morning I wait until the madman goes off into the woods. Leaving the car I keep my head down.

I try to avoid looking at the boar as he tilts his head, the collar and chains clanking. Apparently the madman chained him up, probably for wandering around at night. I approach him. He’s helpless. His arms are currently chained behind his back and my first thoughts are I want to make him make that noise again. I shake my head quickly feeling sick. I can’t stop thinking about it though. Like a soft moan and whimper. 

I wait until I can pretend to be normal. I crouch and whisper an apology. I give him food and water and he accepts it, eyes either lowered or flickering to search mine. I can see it in his eyes he knows what I’m wanting but not why I’m so hesitant. 

“I won’t-” He starts and I wince. 

‘If he tells me to do it I can’t. That’s what’s wrong with me. How did he even figure it out so quickly?'

He lets out a pained noise and I look up concerned. “He cut a bunch of my bristles off, for his experiments.” He explains. “Wasn't exactly gentle about it.” I nod and move to see if I could do anything about it. He gasps as I rub my hand over his neck a little needy whimper leaving his throat causing my hand to tighten. 

“About last night." I start not sure where to go with it and deciding to see how he responds.

“I'm sorry I moved." He whispers hoarsely.

“If you'll let me explain," I rush. "I d, don't know what's wrong with me it's probably after effects from..."

He looks back, “There's nothing wrong with you."

I tense. He seems to realize that this wasn't what I wanted to hear, it's superficial after all and easily disproven.

I look at his real ear, the one I've been wanting to bite this whole time, “You sure about that?" I touch it gently.

He sighs, “I've...heard of things like you where doing."

“Oh so you think me wanting to make you pass out and cry and-" I cut off. "You think this is normal?" I lean forwards and mouth his ear. 

He looks back, “Gentle, please, I’ll-” I bite harder and he cuts off with a gasp jerking forwards the chains catching him. 

I don't want him to beg, 'Lies.' and I don’t want him to tell me he’ll be good or silent or anything. I lean forward, giving in to my desires. I bite his shoulder next looking up at his reaction. He lets out an “ungh” of pain but keeps as still and quiet as possible until I press forward. I smooth down his bristles and press my chest against his back. 

I tentatively press against his shackled hands. His hand twitches but doesn’t move again. Breathe bated. 

“Tell me what to do.” He says firmly. I start not even sure. “Tell me what…you want me to do,” he whispers. 

“Nothing. Absolutely nothing unless it’s to tell me to stop.” I add that last part, ‘I don’t want him to, I even like it when he’s nervous and scared but I’m not going to become like them.’ I rub against him hesitantly, very careful of his bristles leaning my chest away, amazed at how sensitive I am. He struggles to control his breathing, trying to be quiet. 

I bite down on his shoulder harder, he tenses his whole body. There's no way he’s enjoying this level of pain and his hand clenches a little before he can stop himself. It hurts a little and that pushes me over the edge. He can sense it turning his head a little with a breathy laugh of satisfaction. Embarrassed I pull away quickly, clarity striking me at what I’d just done, humiliating myself. 

'And what about him? Do I just leave him like this?' I unlock him shakily and remove the restraints and collar then go back to the car, he calls after me concerned. I lock myself in, hiding confused and disgusted with myself. 

The madman knocks on the window seemingly confused as to why I’ve been in here crying and he silently offers me a coffee and some breakfast. I accept it and relock the door before scarfing it down. After I’m done I leave it outside the car and he comes over almost immediately. I almost hope he’ll say something to make it better but he just looks at me confused taking the cup and plate back. 

“Are you hurt?” He asks finally. 

I shake my head no glancing at the boar who is taking care of the fairy feeding them something.

He glances back at the pigsy who is acting normal thank goodness. “Are you mad I took more bristles?”

I glare at him.

“Did you have a nightmare?” 

I start looking up because this was unlike him he seems to think that’s it. 

“What about?”

I decide to tell him something in curiosity of how he’d react, “You know the people that abused me?” I fiddle with my hands, “I’m worried I’m becoming like them.”

He makes no expression whatsoever. “Like evil or?”

I nod and he relaxes a little, seemingly more comfortable now that he knows the answer to what's bothering me. 

“You cried over the dead experiments later the bird then the pig, you aren’t a bad guy.”

“But-”

“Shhh. You go ahead and try doing something truly cruel then.” He laughs at the thought walking away.

I lower my head thinking about what I really wanted. If only I could talk to someone who knew about sexual fantasies and stuff. I check my pocket. But what if I’m right that there’s something wrong with me? I mean they seemed amused that I liked to bite so maybe I’ll start there. 

I go through the text messages I missed and almost drop the phone when he sent me a pic of him providing a blowjob and an apology, ‘whoops that wasn't for you.’ ‘You okay?’ ‘If you’re uncomfortable I’ll apologize a thousand times.’

‘Almost dropped my phone,’ I type and then hesitate, ‘So since you got a freebee can I ask you an awkward question and if it’s too weird we can both forget about it.’

‘Uh I wouldn’t be weirded out if you fapped to it lol,’ he types, ‘honestly fair game.’

I hesitate flushing because I might now and then start typing, ‘So I just did something really weird with someone I swear I had no feelings for about a second ago.’

‘That’s hot-what happened?’

I try to remember the phrase, ‘I think I have a hurt kink?’ I send it and wait as the response seems to take forever to send a laughing emoji. 

‘No shit that mark on your neck was bleeding oh wait ew, was it with the adopted father guy?’

‘No!’ I type quickly. 

‘Sorry for saying ew.’ He types, ‘Oh good! Lol oooooooh was it the new guy, the brother that joined up with you?’

‘Yes.’ I type weakly. 

‘Sooooo what made you so uncomfortable that you had to talk about it? No safeword? Was it just really rough? Weird kinks? Found out you’re not into bdsm? What?’ 

‘I choked him then later bit his shoulder until it bled because I wanted to hurt him all while he was chained up, helpless, it reminded me of my abusers.’ I look at the text message and then turn off my phone, doubling over. I can’t look.

‘Kinky also, what do you mean abusers, you had a dom that was bad or something?’

He waited a little while for my response then started texting about bdsm and the rules. I realize that what I did was very, very tame to what he started telling me about his previous experiences.

I hesitate and then tell him what happened while I was in the foster care system. Typing it out causes my hands to shake afterwards.

‘Fuck, that’s fucked up I’m so sorry that happened to you.’ He responds immediately. ‘Want me to mess them up?’

I laugh, ‘Thanks I just needed to know that I’m different from them and not turning into a sadist or something.’

“Nothing wrong with being a sadist, just make sure to listen to your bottom and talk afterwards, aftercare, and don’t forget that safeword!’ He sends a goofy pic and I fluster at the sex stuff in the background. Not to mention his outfit, he's barely clothed. ‘Also just tell him all the weird fantasies you want to experiment with him, he sounds like he’s already really into it! Especially from what you told me his responses were. You never know and it will make you feel a lot better.’ 

He changes his availability to busy and I smile, putting my phone away. I wince, wipe my eyes and go back out to the campsite. I feel better but also like I desperately need to talk to the teen cause according to what I knew now, I was a sucky dom.

“Feed the fairy.” He says, “It won’t eat for me.”

“If you’re going to go, don't forget to bring your bracelet.” He says as I look into the forest.

I show him that I have it.

“And don’t go too far.” He mutters. “Preferably within screaming distance in case a pack of goblins tries to eat you.”I smirk a little bit at that and take the treat with me as I go check on the fairy. They have a little water left in their tea cup. I smile speaking to them softly as they observe the treat I have. I offer it to them as a distraction to mislead the madman from the fact they immediately start sucking my blood. 'They’re starved poor thing.' 

I test my luck trying to pet their head and then when they flinch, whisper comfort only for them to pull away. The fairy licks their lips then points to the woods.