[Verse 1]

Woke up this morning, something felt wrong,
Checked the mirror—oh god, I’m gone.
No makeup, no curls, no Tiffany charm,
Just a dude with a five o’clock alarm.

I stepped outside, took a deep breath,
The townspeople screamed, thought I was a threat.
“Who’s this guy? Where’d Tiffany go?”
Man, I don’t know, but now I got… dad jokes.

[Chorus]
I got dad energy,
Cargo shorts and New Balance on my feet.
I don’t know how, I don’t know why,
But suddenly, I wanna grill outside.
Dad energy,
Making bad puns instinctively,
I don’t have kids, I don’t have a wife,
But somehow, I feel like I paid taxes twice.

[Verse 2]
Tried to explain, but they wouldn’t believe,
Now I’m running through town like a Home Depot spree.
Chased by a mob with pitchforks and flames,
Guess looking different just ain’t the same.

I ducked into a bar, tried to order a drink,
Bartender said, “Sir, aren’t you Tiffany?”
I said, “Not anymore, man, things have changed,
Now I just wanna complain about gas exchange.”

[Chorus]
I got dad energy,
Fixing things that don’t need fixing, see?
I used to vibe, I used to dance,
Now I just stand up weird and adjust my pants.

[Bridge]
Maybe I should lean into the role,
Buy a minivan and mow the lawn slow.
Start telling stories that go nowhere fast,
Like “Back in my day, we didn’t have apps!”

[Chorus]
I got dad energy,
Grilling steaks like it’s a prophecy,
Button-up shirt tucked into jeans,
And I yell at the TV screen.

[Outro]
So here I am, a dad with no kids,
Stuck in a life that I never did pick.
Maybe tomorrow I’ll wake up right,
Or maybe I’ll just go compare gas prices tonight.

Tiffany is lying on the bed…as a boy…

Tiffany: *sniff* Goodnight…

With Rita….

At the park…

The Boyfriend brings her ex…

Rita: There you are! What took you so long?!

Boyfriend: I brought my ex…and all these other ladies…

It shows lots of ladies, waiting…

Rita: Oh, god! How are we gonna figure them out?

Boyfriend: I *sigh* Don’t know…..i just have to choose….

Ex: Well, honey, who would you choose?

Boyfriend: I don’t know….it’s a tough decision…I can’t waste the time I did on the ladies……

Rita: True…………but what do we do? I love you…so much….

Boyfriend: Me too…but my heart also has a special place…on my ex….

Ex: Aww! Babe!

They both kiss. Leaving Rita jealous and hurt…

Rita: I love him! I thought we were supposed to be together!

Boyfriend: Well….it’s a hard love triangle we’re having….

Rita:  *shouts* YOU KISSED!

Boyfriend: *shouts* YES! I DID, I LOVE HER TOO!

Rita: *shouts* I KNOW, BUT YOU SHOULN’T HAVE RUBBED IT IN MY FACE!

Boyfriend: *shouts* I DON’T LOVE YOU RITA!

Rita is shocked…

Rita: Y-y-Y-You don’t ?

Boy-friend : i *sigh* Look…I’m sorry for ruining your feelings and making this valentines suck…I know…and yes….my heart belongs to someone else…

Ex: Aww…babe

Boy-friend: Have a good life, Rita…it’s my choice…

He and the ex go, holding hands…

The Rain begins, and Rita throws flowers on the ground…

Rita: Well fine! I don’t need him anyway! I don’t care for valentines anyway!

She storms angrily away…..

Professor Kick My Golick Balls is running around the park with the ducks around him…

Professor Kick My Golick Balls: Ah! Stop! Stop! Stop! I’m never doing love potions ever again!

The ducks peck his anus….

Professor Kick My Golick Balls: Ah! My balls! Put F in the chat for my banana!

With Adam Diagonal…..

He is at a luxurious house, with a Mrs. Banana…at dinner….

Adam Diagonal: Say, thanks for inviting me for dinner!

Mrs. Banana: No worries, I had no one to go with, so you are the perfect match!

Adam Diagonal: Aww…shucks i- wait what?

Mrs. Banana: *leans closer* Yes…it’s true….i think I’m falling in love with you….

Adam Diagonal: Really? Me too….i love your beauty and your juicy as a banana…

Mrs. Banana: I am a banana….

Adam Diagonal: Aww…it’s cute when your refusing….

Mrs. Banana: Well Adam, you really know how to make a woman feel loved…let’s have a romantic dance together…

Africa – by Toto Plays…

Mrs. Banana and Adam Diagonal come close, and they start dancing, but Adam dances madly…..

He runs around with her, and backflips with her, and runs to the toilet to get a banana, and rushes out with her, dancing poorly….

And he forces a hug….

*POKE!*

Mrs. Banana: Ah! I feel like something has pocked me!

Adam Diagonal: Don’t worry..it’s my brown banana next to my sperm……

Mrs. Banana: I can’t live with a perveted poorly-dancing moron who has an erection every single time!

Adam Diagonal: Well I can’t live with a woman who smells like they came from the sewage when they were born!

*SILENCE*

Mrs. Banana: Screw you Adam!

Adam Diagonal: Bye Bye Sewage-stinking banana-ripping, pineapple-pizza eating lady, who looks like someone when they were not born, and took a clinic of marasmus, watching every Saturday Night Live episode when the Super Bowl Comes to town, smelling like a grade 2’s yogurt stuck in the bag for 8 years, watching dumb trailers of fake Avatar 3 on fandago, and demanding a ticket, Go take break and punch yourself!

With Tame-do the Lame-do

In the women’s bathroom,  he is walking…

Tame-do the Lame-do: Where is that beauty queen?

He opens one toilet…and a lady screams…..

Tame-do-the Lame-do: Just wanted to say, I love your balls!

                ‘’And that’s why you must not check in women’s bathrooms!’’

‘’Unless if you have seen one once, then start cleaning your eyes with bleach, and don’t come write a controversial later to me…’’

Tame-do The Lame do: It’s Tame-do the Lame-do!

‘’Who asked?!’’

Tame-do-the Lame-do: Wait, who is telling me this?

It shows Cheesy with a phone at the reasturant…..

Creamsweet: Cheesy, stop it! This fake-dating thing isn’t working, if you want Marla confess!

Cheesy: No, can do, and besides, she’s noticing us!

Creamsweet: No, she is not…she is looking at his boyfriend……

Cheesy: Well, we can’t just sit here, we have to do, something for attention!

Creasweet:……………………….No.

Cheesy: Your doing it!

Creamsweet: How, by shooting the guy with a thin neck?

It shows him…

Waiter: I’m a hooman….

Cheesy: You know what, I’m gonna do?

Creamsweet: What? Choke me like yesterday’s broken keyboards out of the tree….

A broken keyboard falls down……

Cheesy types, playing Roblox….and shuts it down….

Cheesy: I hate Roblox…….

Creamsweet: It’s for kids, who don’t know how to draw…..

Cheesy then gets a rock and puts it in Creamsweet’s mouth……

Creamsweet starts chocking

Creamsweet: *chocking* AH-JA!

Everyone is watching them…Cheesy just watches…….

Creamsweet is on the floor, chocking violently……..

Marla from far sees……

Marla: Isnt that romantic?

Boyfriend: You don’t know what romance means do you?

Creamsweet continues chocking, and failing to breathe….Cheesy is just eating his meal cutting the meat nicely…..

She then faints on the floor…..

Cheesy: *looks* I’m still not doing that gay C.P.R thing….

Everyone: DO IT!

Cheesy: I’m not gay!

Marla: *from far* Cheesy, you’re the bravest man ever, save her life!

Cheesy continues staring at her, lovestruck…..

Cheesy: *sighs* Look…Marla…I’m not dating with Creamsweet…It was a lie, I just wanted your attention..and make you jealous…I’m sorry, I’m such a coward to express my feelings, and here I am…giving my friend…toture….

Marla: *gasps* Cheesy, how could you?

Cheesy: I’m an idiot Marla, a huge one, I don’t deserve you……

Someone: *from far* DO C.P.R!

Cheesy: It’s gay! But…alright…

He then opens creamsweet’s mouth, and Cheesy is about to blow air, but instead he turns around and blows air in the buttocks….

He keeps blowing on the butt…face red….

Cheesy: Come on Creamsweet, stay with me! *blows* It smells terrible in there…..

Everyone just stares shocked…and they go out, Marla even goes and her boyfriend….

Her Boyfriend walks to Cheesy…

Boyfriend: Dude, do you know what C.P.R is?!

Cheesy: *keeps blowing* I do! Jeez Creamsweet’s mouth smells like crap…

Boyfriend: Your blowing her ASS!

Cheesy: What?

He looks, and realizes…

Cheesy: Oh…..god….i feel sick…..

He rushes to the bathroom, while Marla’s boyfriend does correct C.P.R…..

Creamsweet wakes up….

Creamsweet: That Cheesy!

Boyfriend: I saved you ma’m…and just know Cheesy was breathing in your ass…

Creamsweet: Yeah i-WHAT?!

With The Roaches……

Sergeant Roach: Come on comrades! We have to try to supply Russia and Ukraine a peace offering!

Roach: How? We sended them pink grenades and they just misused them!

Cutaway

Russian Roach: Everybody on 3…..2……1…..go!

He throws the grenade, but it explodes their bodies instead…leaving their skeletons and blood shown…….

Cutaway ends…..

Roach#2: We have failed miserably…

In the air…Russian forces appear……

Sergant Roach: We’re doomed…..

♫ Russia and Ukraine! They have been enemies since 2014! ♫

TO BE CONTINUED..NEXT FRIDAY AT 8PM.