Insignificant Emily and the Intellectual Idiots

Chapter 3

This Wonderful World

I’m meeting Agatha’s friends today. Thankfully, I don’t have any classes. Technically, I did, but it was too early in the morning, so I didn’t go. Emily Ritibel’s body is so frail that she has trouble getting up in the morning. I’m kidding. I went to bed late last night, so I skipped. Call it a personal absence. It’s fine. I was going to fail anyway. It’s just ancient languages.

I’d been thinking about Emily’s whereabouts last night. I think she disappeared. Actually, I don’t know if she disappeared—she could still be in this body. I used to think I had to take care of this body until the real Emily returned, but now I wonder if I’m just suffering from a dissociative identity disorder. However, even thinking that I have a dissociative identity disorder probably contradicts that because those words don’t exist in this world. If I know that, I couldn’t possibly be a native of this world.

Anyway, it’s been three years since I started living in this body, and I’ve slowly begun to abandon those thoughts. I’ve been having them less often too. I wonder what all the other wretched souls that took over people’s bodies would think. Were they also caught off guard, in danger of being sent to temples? Were there others sent to this world before me? In that case, God is neglecting their duties. Or maybe they’re on strike, punishing the inhabitants of this world. I read a book like that not long after I came here.

—In the beginning, there was a strike.

I don’t know why a book would begin like that. Anyway, this means a god could go on strike—quite realistic, if you ask me. I think it’s very human to define a god in our terms, but who knows? I guess this place has its own rules, but you can’t expect me to follow them. What is this world’s god doing?

Still, I have to say, I’m enjoying life here a little. It’s surprisingly comfortable, and magic is quite advanced. You don’t need elbow grease to clean, and the food is delicious. Of course, there are times when I crave Korean food, but they don’t have any spicy food here. The spiciest food they have is mustard. Horseradishes are a thing, but they just taste like regular radishes. Whenever I shovel mustard in my mouth, Agatha looks at me like I’m a nutcase. Besides the dismal shortage of spicy food, life here isn’t so bad. There’s no air pollution, nature is beautiful, and there’s nothing to do.

Damn it.

I wasn’t the type to play around, but I enjoyed what the twenty-first century had to offer. There’s literally nothing to do here. Judging by the architecture, it looks like I’m in old Europe. Just like the olden days—there’s nothing else to do. The bathrooms suck too!

Hey, listen. This is something you have to know. Not every member of the nobility is beautiful or handsome. They’re average. Average! They just have a great build. Actually, I have a pretty good build myself.

Who said this world’s food was low in nutrients? It’s called magic! Yes, they genetically engineer their food here too. They grow produce with magic, like an eco-friendly version of fertilizer. Plus, they use growth spells to produce more crops more often. Maybe that’s why they’re all so tall. They seem to have a far better build than people on Earth. Wait, but is magic more eco-friendly than fertilizer? They’re both kind of iffy, aren’t they? I’m not the only person who thinks this. Some grocery stores sell “magic-free” vegetables—you could call them organic.

I’m having a good day. It rained in the middle of the night but stopped in the morning. The leaves outside my window glisten with raindrops, and the ground smells faintly of earth. I heard that bacteria are responsible for the smell of petrichor, but they must have healthy bacteria here. I don’t even know if bacteria can be healthy.

I fell asleep late last night but woke up in the middle of the morning. Meanwhile, Agatha is still in dreamland, snoring too. I’d describe what it sounds like, but I won’t besmirch the lady’s honor. I leave Agatha behind and head to the library before meeting her friends. Even though I asked her for help, understanding what I should be studying is a virtue.

“Emily,” someone says.

You start running into people you know once you leave the dormitory and enter the Academy.

“Felix,” I say back.

Back when I lived in a dormitory in Korea, women and men lived in separate spaces. Not here. Here, men and women cohabitate. I was shocked, but nobody seemed to care. Unlike this academy, I heard the old Grandier Academy has a tradition of separating men and women in their dormitories.

“Where are you going? We don’t have class today,” Felix says.

“The library.”

Felix gives me a dubious look, which he quickly hides behind a smile.

“Good luck.”

I nod and smile, too.

Professor Flavio assigned me homework yesterday, and it’s not easy to prove. Well, it might be easy for others, but not me.

Copernicus! Galileo! Give me strength!

As if they would, but it’s worth a shot. We’re all ghosts, but we should help each other, right?

As soon as my thoughts reach that point, I worry about something else. Copernicus and Galileo both wrote in Italian, right? Or was it Latin? Either way, it was probably some Romance language—I hate Romance languages.

“By the way, that was pretty cool yesterday. I’ve never seen Professor Flavio make that face before,” Felix says.

I steal a glance at the book he is holding and say, “I still don’t have any idea what he’s talking about.”

“What on earth happened to you? You used to have good grades.”

“You know what? I wonder that too.”

“What do you mean?”

Emily Ritibel disappeared, and the eldest daughter of the Kim family took her place, but Felix would never know that. Not just Felix, but everyone.

“Well, off you go,” he says. “You still might be able to find a decent book.”

I wave a little at his kind words and quickly walk away.

The library is far away, but it’s still morning, and most people are in class. I’m going to take this chance to find some books. After all, a dumb student like me has to work hard. No, wait. I’m not dumb. It’s just that these kids are smart!

While I’m at it, I’ll take this time to explain what this wonderful world is like.

***

I live in the Belifera Empire, in the northern part of the Central Continent. Its terrain consists mostly of plains and mountains. I heard that its neighboring empire in the south has more forests and plains. The Belifera Empire has many mountains on its borders.

I attend Lefern’s Second Academy. Together with Lefern’s Third Academy and Grandier Academy of Ludwig, my school makes up the Big Three Imperial Academies. Lefern’s First Academy isn’t as good as you think it is. Still, it’s considered the First Academy because of all the nobles who attend it. In other words, it’s just a way for young nobles to befriend each other before they make their debut in high society. Students who attend other academies can feel a little left out.

Emily Ritibel is the daughter of a baron. That might not seem like much, but in this world, having any sort of title is kind of a big deal. Yeah, that was news to me too. In novels, it’s always about your counts, marquises, dukes, etc. Meeting these people is almost impossible, even if you are a noble. Still, you can meet their successors or other prospective nobles at these academies, but it’s not easy.

Take Lefern’s First Academy, for instance. Only nobility from the Belifera Empire can get in. And not just any nobility—only people from families who have held their titles for the past five generations are eligible to enter. So why is it not a distinguished school? It’s obvious. The nobility may have had intellect or power, but that’s all in the past. Now, they just squander all the money made by the lower classes. They go hunting when they’re bored. They wake up late, throw balls, dance, and drink the night away. That’s the kind of life they live. They’re so useless. I’m jealous. Anyway, they already have such a high status that they don’t need to work or study. I heard that things are different in other countries. They make sure their nobility have a complete education, but the Belifera Empire is a little different.

I don’t think this country has a future. That said, Lefern’s Second Academy is a respectable school, although it’s only for nobility too. Many nobles of lesser rank and those from abroad come to study here. The faculty is also excellent. We have students from the Northern Continent and students from neighboring countries, with whom we have a contentious relationship.

The Third Academy is open to commoners. However, it’s filled with such exemplary students that it’s part of the Big Three. I don’t know much about Grandier Academy in Ludwig. I heard it’s known for magic, history, philosophy, and law, so many knights choose to go to Lefern’s Second Academy rather than Grandier.

Anyway, Emily Ritibel is a brilliant girl from a noble family—or at least she was before I possessed her body. I bet she didn’t see that coming—someone else living in her body.

“Why aren’t there any books?” I wonder aloud.

Someone else ruining her grades.

“Why is everyone so diligent?”

I’m screwed. The book Felix was holding is gone. When I asked, the librarian said they were all loaned out. I heard there were twelve copies of the same book, so how could they all be checked out? Left with no choice, I crane my neck, looking through the selection of astronomy books. None of the books catch my eye—scratch that—I don’t even know which book to look for.

After some thought, I pull out the thinnest book. It’s by Nicholas Giuseppe, whoever that is. I hope he can help me. My life is in his hands.

When I get back to the dorms, I find Agatha already awake. Most people wake up looking exhausted after a night of studying, but she’s a little different. She sleeps for ten, sometimes twelve, hours. I don’t know if it’s a mage thing or an Agatha thing. I’m sure not all mages are as easygoing as her. I mean, everyone else is suffering with their studies.

Occasionally, I make my complaints known to Agatha. She said it’s a blessing from Graffid, but I’m not a mage. I don’t know anything about Graffid. Oh, wait. I know one thing. He had a magic shop called The Candy Store. Why would he name it that? They consider “candy” a curse word here. I don’t know why. I’m sure someone out there has a paper on why it’s regarded as a curse, but I can’t be bothered to read it. Anyway, a great mage operated a magic store called The Candy Shop. To put it into perspective, it’s the equivalent of a saint working as a taffy seller. Taffy. Maybe it’s just his way of telling the world to get stuffed.

“You’re up early. Where did you go?” Agatha asks as she does her stretches.

She’s so diligent. Who stretches when they wake up? Perhaps that’s why I’m always in pain. I’m sorry, Emily Ritibel, for abusing your body like this, but it doesn’t seem like Emily worked out or exercised much.

“The library,” I say.

“For a book? Nicholas Giuseppe?”

Yes, I picked the thinnest book they had. I can’t stand thick books, but you never know. This thin book may contain some great knowledge—possibly the core of astronomy!

“Did you know that person’s dead?”

“Most of the famous scholars in this world are already dead,” I say.

What’s the big deal? I smile at Agatha, but she shakes her head.

“No, he was murdered a few years ago.”

I don’t know how to respond to that. Murdered? Is being an astronomer a dangerous profession in this world? In that case, I quit. Actually, I was never one to begin with, but I quit anyway. I want to live a long, long life. To health and longevity!

“It’s almost time. Let’s go,” Agatha says without even rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. She’s still wearing her pajamas.

When I stare at her, she shrugs on a cloak. I can still see her pajamas peeping out from under it. That’s Agatha Llewellyn for you—an inhabitant of this magnificent world.

“Let’s take our time,” she says. “They’ll probably be late too.”

So we go to meet her friends. I take Giuseppe’s book with me. I feel a twinge of hope. These are the elites of Lefern’s Second Academy. They must be smart if they are associates of Agatha, the know-it-all. Of course, they are smart. Listen, dear readers. Just because someone’s smart doesn’t mean they’re mature. They were idiots.