All good things come in threes, the big THREE, threesomes, throuples (debatable). The only positions that are acknowledged are the top three; gold, silver, and bronze. People unconsciously set goals in threes. 

We can further expound on this by taking a deep dive into McClelland's Three Needs Theory, the Three-Component Theory of Stratification, and the Three Worlds Theory. All these theories have one thing in common, humans don’t feel confident until their goals are set in threes. 

So I set my first roster based on the rule of threes 

Guy A: I met him at an internship in highschool. I was doing it for experience and he was actually getting paid, I was a little jealous, not going to lie. We had a pretty good rapport, made jokes here and there but there was no flirting, no indication of interest, and I don’t remember finding him attractive initially. This made it all the way weird when he reached out to me a few years after graduation. 

“Hey, it’s me Guy A, we did the internship together,” the text read, “Do you remember me?”

“Umm… yeah, what’s up?” confusion rushed through my veins. 

“Not much, it’s been a while, what are you up to?” He responded quickly. 

“I’m at home, Happy fourth btw,” I don’t know what I expected from this conversation but I was ready for it to end. 

“Can I come over?” finally we were getting somewhere. 

“No, my family is home.”

“We can chill in my car,” my phone lit up. It was about a holiday, I was alone, I hadn’t seen my friends since graduation and he had a car. What could I lose?

Thirty minutes passed the hour he was meant to arrive, and the summer skies were starting to dusk. The mosquitoes were relentless so I settled on the idea he wasn’t coming. Just as I was about to head back into the house, I heard him pull up and honk. I shook my head in annoyance and climbed into the passenger seat of his mum’s grey Toyota Rav4. 

“Sorry about that, I was at a friend's place,” he sounded apologetic. I didn’t really care at this point, I was just annoyed at the mosquito bites I got while waiting. 

“That’s fine, so what do you want to do?” I sighed in light annoyance. 

Night fell as we settled into light conversation, reminiscing about the crappy internship, high school, and what we were doing in college. 

I kept him around because he was comfortable. 

Guy B: He had the most beautiful grey eyes. Every time I looked into them I absolutely melted. He talked a lot too, that was how I learned people who talked too much always said nothing at all. He was the perfect example. 

We met at the library, at the time it was the most exciting thing to happen to me. I noticed him looking at me and stole a few glances myself. He was good looking, so I got up to use the bathroom and flashed him a sweet smile to check if he would follow. He did. 

It didn’t take long before we planned our first meetup, which was followed by a long make out session by the beach. I glazed my hand over his pants to feel his package. It was long and hard, it felt like something I wanted. 

The second time we met up was at his place, it was weird. But he sent me dick pics, and I was impressed. So the eager beaver in me got down on my knees and got to work. I was not disappointed, working my way from the tip down to the neck. I giggled as I understood why it was called head. It didn’t take long before he hit the back of my throat and I struggled to breathe. My eyes watered as I choked helplessly looking into his eyes, it felt like a place I needed to be. 

Dicks-appointed

I laid on my back to receive my reward for being such a good girl. I mean thirty minutes on my knees had to amount to something, right? It didn’t and I knew this was a place I didn’t need to be. I wish I could tell you this was the last time we hooked up, but it wasn’t. I guess I just desperately had to make sure it wasn’t a fluke. 

He stayed in the roster because I liked his face, more than I enjoyed his dick. Shallow I know. 

Guy C: It was New Year’s Eve Eve, and I desperately didn’t want to go into the next year single. Plot twist: I did. This one wasn’t a complete waste of my time though. 

Sitting under a wet train station in my first fur coat, in an outfit I had never worn before, on a first date with a man who was partially deaf. I began to question my entire existence. This couldn’t be the best I had for myself. It just couldn’t. 

He wouldn’t take me on a proper date, but at least he gave me money. Once the money stopped, I cut him off.