Once upon a time, there was a diligent young woman named Hokusai Kasumi.

“Hey, Kasumi-chan~ Can you do this for me? Thanks~”

She hadn’t agreed to anything at all, Kasumi thought bitterly, yet the pile of paperwork was accepted on her desk without a word. Years of conditioning to just accept the status quo kept her from opening her mouth. No, not just not open it, but to bite her tongue. Literally. Kasumi hadn’t tasted anything normally in a long time…

Sighing, she mentally adjusted the time she needed to take on her own job so she could include this new batch. Kasumi was competent, efficient and focused.

And this was a curse rather than a blessing, more times than not.

Hours that could have been spent resting was used on overtime that got paid half the time. Arguments with higher ups resulted in veiled threats of being dismissed, so she was just grateful for when she was given the money. People telling her about why she was so slow. What was taking her so long. Why was she stealing money from the company by working so many hours outside her schedule.

It wasn’t as if she wanted to. Not her fault others in the office just had to clock out at 5, saying they had important things to do. Of course, came the bitter thoughts, it’s not like I don’t have things to do, too.

It was more or less the same at her second job at the university, a job that she got out of sheer dumb luck. It paid much more than her day job, but unfortunately, they could only hire her on a part time basis during the night. Donning her uniform of a security guard, she monitored the halls in the science and engineering wing of the school. And this meant no sitting down, ever. The only time she got to sit was during her desk job by day. And she would be lucky to get enough sleep to stave off any negative effects so early in her youth.

It was better than her high school job of being a convenience store worker. And most nights it was pretty quiet and peaceful at her night job. It was much more liked, because she had moments to herself while patrolling.

What about breaks? Someone should be spotting her, right? Normally, yes, but her boss preferred to sleep through the entire shift, leaving his subordinates to do all the work. And upon seeing how diligent Kasumi was, her fellow guardsmen also began to slack off.

It’s all right as long as we have Kasumi.

Kasumi is so reliable.

We can depend on Kasumi.

It’s better if Kasumi does it.

Words like this that used to give her pride as a teen made her want to throw up as a fully grown adult who understood the world more. These were not compliments. They were backhanded things masked as niceties, spoken to make her feel like she would be obliged to do things. Binding her with unsympathetic, unhelpful, meaningless kind words. And if she tried doing the bare minimum, people complained. Because why wasn’t she doing what she did before? It was disappointing.

Jerks. Useless. Lazy assholes.

So many thoughts like this circled in her unhappy mind during those days. But she barely had to interact. If she finished any extra tasks quickly, she could then enjoy some peace and quiet.

In the beginning it used to bring her joy. Doing a little service here and there made people smile and show her gratitude. People still said their thanks. So Kasumi had done a little more, here and there, because it was her way of showing she cared. That she wanted to be friendly.

And yet, instead of these acts remaining as little gifts of service, they became givens.

And it went downhill over the years as new workers came in, old workers left. Younger people who were told that Kasumi assumed those responsibilities, but never told why she did it. Just that it was always that way.

“When was the last time someone said ‘good job’? I wonder…”

Not even in passing had she heard those works. Just a careless ‘good work’ that was normally thrown around as the shift changed. It was spoken between others, but it never echoed when she said it. Even when she smiled and put in a bit of cheerful energy she did not feel.

“Good work!”

“…”

“…Ah.”

It happened again. But she kept up that smile as she punched off of the clock and headed home. 6 AM. The sun hadn’t even come up yet. At least the streetlights were still on. Kasumi idly wondered what she should make for breakfast for everyone when she got home. What could she smuggle into a tiny container she could sneak into her room that nobody would miss. Her sister was going to be headed to classes, too, so maybe she should make something with plenty of protein…

Right on time, with the right timing. When Kasumi stepped in, it started immediately.

“Kasumi, I’m hungry!”

It was 7 AM, right on schedule. “Yes, I know, I’ll get to it right away.”

“Kasumi, did you buy me any beer?”

Kasumi held up the bag from the convenience store with a smile. It was swiped from her hands and she fought back the urge to sigh; more drinking at this time of day?

“Yes, papa. I also added a bag of your favourite snacks.”

A grunt of response as her father went back to the living room and Kasumi kicked off her shoes to go to the kitchen to prepare food.

“Kasumi, have you started laundry yet?” her mother called from down the hall.

“Not yet, mama.”

“Don’t forget to do it.”

The urge to drop what she was doing to get started on laundry was strong, but Kasumi held firm – she worked out a proper order of priority and schedule to perfection over the years. If she deviated everything would go to Hell. So long as nothing differentiated, she could get everything done without anyone getting mad.

She must not let anyone feel irritated or mad, or it would be her fault. And she would get it again. Kasumi touched her left arm out of habit. There was an echo of a throb.

Alas, that was hardly ever how things went.

As she was plating breakfast (and sneaking a few things into a plastic baggy she slipped into her pocket) the roar of her father’s voice rang through the entire apartment. Kasumi’s heart raced as she hurried to do things as the stomp of feet from the living room to the kitchen began. She had to get the plates on the table. Quick, quick, quick—

Kasumi had the last plate down as both her sister and her father came into the dining room. Her sister sat down calmly as if nothing was wrong as their father came round to smack Kasumi’s left arm and another, lighter (but no less painful) chop upside her head. Kasumi did her best not to flinch or act at all surprised, but not brave. No. No brave face. It got worse with a brave face.

He began yelling, words slurred. Looks like he speedran through his beer faster than she could cook this time. Damn.

All she could do was apologize as her mother came to eat, too, ignoring the intense scene. This happened often enough that there was no point in reacting anymore. After all, as long as Kasumi took on the entirety of the family head’s wrath, then they need not worry and just enjoy their lives.

“Mama, I’m going to go out again today,” her sister said as Kasumi took another hit to her right arm now, her dominant arm. The arm she used for drawing.

“Papa I’m sorry.”

“Useless girl, what the hell is this snack supposed to be?!”

Her mother just looked at her younger sister, smiling as they discussed things to come that day. “Oh, the rich doctor’s son? How nice. Do you need money?”

“He’s going to pay for everything, but it wouldn’t hurt to have pocket money.”

“Well, you can grab some from Kasumi’s wallet. I’m sure she doesn’t mind. Anything for her cute little sister.”

“Okay, I think about….10000 yen? No 20000!”

“Oh, darling, that’s no good. Kasumi should have gotten paid already, so I think you can grab 50000 from her and we should still have enough for the bills this week.”

“Really? Yay~!”

Just another scene, another day. While Kasumi got beaten black and blue while her mother and sister just enjoyed their lives peacefully. And when her father lost all steam, lumbering back to the living room after his tantrum, Kasumi would turn to her family and ask if they were all right.

Long ago, her mother would apologize and her little sister would thank her for protecting them. But now, they just looked coldly at her. Indifferent as Kasumi smiled through the pain, heading to her room afterwards without another word. At least it was just one of them losing their minds that day. A plus, honestly.

Kasumi didn’t cry. Tomorrow will be better. She’s sure things will get better.

It had to.

Even with her hands busted up, there was enough strength left for her to make a quick doodle to calm her soul and to soften the blow to her heart. A little house, a childish stick figure of Kasumi smiling next to a sun with spikes coming out of it. A simple drawing, but of something happy. A dream for someone who barely got enough sleep to dream.

A happy her. A little home. It will get better soon…she can reach that if she worked hard.