Friday. The day when I go to the writer’s group. The whole day I’m anxious. If I want to win that contest, then I have to put my skills to the test, which means I need it to be evaluated by others.

Which means taking what I wrote to the group. Just the thought of reading my own writing aloud sends my head spinning. By the time it hits four o’clock, I’m pacing the house. Elsha comes drifting out of her room, looking annoyed.

“Are you really that anxious to get going?” she asks, leaning against the hallway wall.

I stop wearing a path through the middle of floor and twist my hands together. “Not really. I wrote something. I’m bringing it.”

Elsha’s eyes widen and she pushes away from the wall. Slowly, she comes toward me and grabs my arms. She looks up into my eyes, her face inches from mine.

“You wrote something? Like, really wrote something?”

I lean back so that I’m not looking at her cross-eyed. What was with that creepy approach? “Yes…?”

She narrows her eyes at me. “Does it have something to do with that boy?” Suspicion laces her words.

“Uh…kind of?” I’m assuming she’s referring to Ryuji. “It’s all because of him that I can write at all.”

Her eyes narrow even further. “What are your feelings towards him? Do you like him? Like, like like him?”

My cheeks flush with heat and I push her away. “No way! He’s just a friend. Am I not allowed to have friends?”

She hums, as if not quite believing me. “Not male ones, no. I don’t want to see some random guy sweep you off your feet and take you away. Then I’d be all alone and bored with no one to talk to.”

I roll my eyes. “You have plenty of friends, Elsha. Just talk to them.”

“Yeah, but I can’t annoy them the way I can annoy you. Also, I don’t want to see you go through the puppy love stage.” She wrinkles her nose. “Gross.”

“Don’t worry, I’m not planning on falling in love. In fact, I dream of living out my life happily single with five cats and a dog.” I cross my arms, daring her to contradict me.

Shrugging, Elsha walks away, calling back over her shoulder, “Yeah, I can see you turning into the crazy cat lady.”

I don’t deign that remark with an answer. There’s no point in fighting over it. In a way, she’s right. I probably will become the crazy cat lady. I will embrace my future crazy self with wholehearted acceptance.

The doorbell rings, and I jump. Is he here already? I rush for the stairs and make it in time to see Elsha opening the front door with a wicked gleam in her eye.

“Hey, hot stuff,” she says, popping one hip and resting her fist against it. “What are you doing here?”

Ryuji looks bewildered as he stares down at my little sister. “Uh, is Keelin home?”

Elsha leans out the door, glaring up at him. “And what are your intentions with my sister? Not planning on sweeping her away to elope, are you?”

Before Ryuji can answer that, I pound across the foyer, wrap my arm around Elsha’s waist, and yank her away from the door. Dropping her to the floor, where she lands with a loud thunk and a cry of protest, I escape through the door and shut it behind me.

“Ignore her,” I say, my cheeks flaming now that I’m standing entirely too close to Ryuji. “She’s a royal pain.”

The door opens and Elsha stands there looking at us like an angry dragon. I’m convinced I see steam shooting from her nostrils as she glares up at Ryuji. Her wolf ears have emerged and are flat against her skull.

“Have her home by nine, or you’ll learn what it means to be on the bad side of a werewolf,” she growls, lifting one clawed hand.

I roll my eyes. “Quit making this sound like a date. I’ll be home when I’m home, got it?”

Elsha ignores me. “Ya hear me, mister?”

“Yes, ma’am. Nine o’clock, sharp.” He gives Elsha a salute, and his elbow almost smacks me in the face.

I dodge his flying limb. Elsha glares at us both. “What are you doing, standing so close?”

Ryuji’s eyes widen. Quickly, he backs away with a flap of his wings, the gust of which almost sends me back into Elsha. His cheeks flush a bright red as he trips down the stairs in his hurry to get away.

“Sorry. My bad.”

He looks so pitiful and flustered on the sidewalk that I burst out laughing. His cheeks burn even brighter, and he spins away, wing feathers fluffed.

“We’re gonna be late. Better keep up!” He takes off down the sidewalk at a jog, wings tucked close to his body.

“Hey!” I scramble after him, still laughing. “Slow down!”

We make it to the library in one piece, though my side aches from laughing so much, and Ryuji refuses to look at me. Snowdrop glances between us, brows raised. When I sit next to her, she leans close and says under her breath, “What did you do to that poor boy?”

I pull the folded paper from my pocket and hold it in my trembling fists. “Nothing. It’s all my sister’s fault, I swear.”

Snowdrop nods, as if this makes all the sense in the world. “I see.”

Miss Cassandra arrives and takes a seat, placing her beaded bag in her lap. Her hair is gleaming wet, and it’s only then that I notice the tiny, translucent scales dotting her face. I can’t believe it took me this long to realize that she’s a mermaid. It took me three weeks to realize that Anton’s a vampire, and he was a little more obvious, with his red-on-black eyes.

In my defense, I’ve seen werewolves with the same kind of eyes.

“Shall we get started?” Miss Cassandra says, looking at all of us.

I raise my hand, even though I’m shaking all over. “Um…I brought something. It’s not much. Is that okay?”

Miss Cassandra smiles, her whole face brightening. “Of course! Then why don’t we start off with you?”

My entire body shrinks in on itself at the thought of all those eyes staring at me. Dropping my gaze to my paper, I stare at it for what feels like an eternity while the whole room waits for me to speak. My vision blurs and more than once, my voice gets caught in my throat.

“Take as much time at you need,” Miss Cassandra says in a gentle voice. “If you want, one of us could read it for you.”

I shake my head. “No. I’ll read it.”

I can do this. I have to. I have to prove to all of them, and myself, that I’m strong enough to do this one little thing. I take a deep breath. Another. And then, in a trembling voice, I begin to read.

“Waves lapped at Mari’s bare feet, as if eager to pull her into the depths of the sea. She gazed out at the wide, fathomless sea that stretched before her, waves rippling along its surface. The turquoise water swelled, sending another splash onto the snow-white sand. There, in the distance, a humming. Mari tilted toward the sound, eager. She knew exactly what it meant.”

I continue to read until I’ve made it through all three pages. I look up, internally cringing as I wait for the others to tell me that it was horrible. That I should just get up and leave since I didn’t know the first thing about writing. Panic begins to build inside my bones, and I crumple the paper in my sweaty fist.

“Is that it?” Anton asks, looking slightly disappointed.

I duck my head. “Yeah. That’s all I could manage to write.”

“I loved it,” Miss Cassandra said. “I think you did a good job.”

My head snaps up at her words, and my pulse pounds in my ears, as if half afraid to hear them again. She…she thought… My throat tightens and I bite the inside of my cheek to hold back the tears.

“Y-you really liked it?” I whisper. What if they’re not telling the truth? What if it’s all just lies and they’re saying this to spare my feelings? What if secretly, they all hate it?

“It’s rough, but it’s good.” Minnie leans forward in her seat next to Snowdrop to look me in the eye. “Nobody’s perfect, but you’ve got talent.”

Ryuji knocks his sneaker into mine to get my attention. When I look up, he’s smiling. He gives me two thumbs up.  “I loved it, Kee! Now you have to finish it because I need to know what’s going on.”

“Yes! I need to know what this Mari character is anticipating. What’s on the water?” Miss Cassandra says this with enthusiasm.

My heart warms from their praise, and my cheeks are burning. They…they actually liked it. They didn’t think it was trash. Or worthless. Everything inside me is burning with a million different emotions as I try to process this. For once, I finally feel accepted.

“I’m thinking of entering the contest,” I blurt, before I can stop myself.

No one seems fazed by this, as if they all expected me to have the confidence to keep going. Ryuji is practically bursting with energy. I’m not a vampire but even I feel like I’m going to be burned by the amount of positivity shining off him.

“Go for it!” he says. “You got this!”

Snowdrop bumps my shoulder with hers. “I’m rooting for you!”

“Yeah, you got this.” Anton smiles.

With all of their encouragement, I feel like I can take Mom head on. Hopefully this feeling will last.

Miss Cassandra comes over to my side and points out what I could do to make the piece stronger over my shoulder, and I write down notes in the margins of the scrap of paper. She gives me a gentle pat on the head before returning to her seat and moving on to Minnie, who brought in more of her beautiful prose.

Minnie’s muse zips through the room as she reads. I watch it go, then narrow my eyes at the others. I haven’t seen Miss Cassandra’s yet. Sunny’s is, surprisingly, shaped like a unicorn with jet-black hair and fiery red eyes. Anton’s is a prowling wolf with feathers instead of fur, all iron grey and mysterious. Snowdrop’s fits her outward appearance perfectly—it’s a little, round creature with tiny ears and a twitchy pink nose, three long tails curling around her neck.

I slide my gaze over to Ryuji. I haven’t seen his, either. I search them both, hoping to catch a glimpse. As I watch Miss Cassandra, I see something move behind her long curtain of turquoise hair. There! It peeks out from around her dangling pearl earring.

Glistening with purple and turquoise scales, Miss Cassandra’s muse looks like a small, bug-eyed guppy. I can’t help but silently laugh at that. It’s so ugly it’s adorable.

I glare at Ryuji now. His still hasn’t shown itself, and I know he has one. He told me himself. What is it? What does it look like? For some reason, something inside me needs to know, to see. But another part of me hopes it never shows itself, because then I can pretend it doesn’t exist.

And I can pretend that I’m not the only one missing a muse.

It’s a selfish thought. I can’t believe myself for thinking something so awful. I never want to see Ryuji lose his muse, or anyone else for that matter. It’s a horrible, gut-wrenching experience that almost killed me. Wishing something like that on someone else? Even worse.

Suddenly, everyone’s praise doesn’t matter anymore. I don’t deserve these people. They would all be better off if I stopped coming.

My phone buzzes, startling me. I pull it out of my hoodie pocket and sneak a look. It’s a text from Ryuji. You okay? Looking up, I give him what I hope is a reassuring smile. He doesn’t smile back. Instead, he looks thoughtful. He looks down at his phone and types something. I stare at my own screen, waiting for his message to appear.

 Meet with me tomorrow. We need to find some inspiration if poor Sir Horatio’s ever going to get out of hero-ing.

Smiling, I text him back. I know he’s really just trying to cheer me up, but the thought is nice. I still don’t quite understand why he’s being so nice to me, and why he wants to be my friend so badly, but I won’t complain. It’s nice to have a friend for once.

Besides, I’ve only got seven months left if I want to enter this contest. It’s now or never.

 K. I’ll do it for Sir Horatio.