WEDNESDAY

Lucas helped carry some things to the car. He felt kind of useless not being able to carry much, but there was nothing he could do. 

This time he was staying at the ground level floor. The room was about the same size. Not much different. Bigger than his old room. But same as the one upstairs. His things were moved in. Some things were put into storage. Mrs Lane welcomed him smiling  happily. She seemed tense around his dad. Lucas wanted to know what ever secret he had on her. Lucas went home. Him and his dad would spend one last night together. And then his dad would drive him to Pennys house go drop the car off at a dealership, and from there he would go by taxi to the airport. 

The drive home seemed painfull.No body spoke. Nearther wanted to be the first. But finally his dad spoke up.

“Well, I mean I won't be gone forever.” He said shrugging with a weak smile.

Lucas eyed him but did not turn to face him. 

“Come on, I'll come and visit anyway. And hopefully in a few months I'll be back.” 

Lucas only turned looking out the window.

The rest of the drive was quiet again. Soon they were back at the apartment. And it was quiet, apart from Lucas hearing his dad ordering some food and then him walking to the living room.

“Lucas, dont make me leave like this.” He said walking into the dining room where Lucas sat.

“I'm not making you.” Lucas said, folding his arms.

“Look I'm sorry things are working out this way. It's just, it's just this is how it is, there's nothing I can do.” He said sitting next to Lucas.

Lucas did not respond. He knew if he spoke it would only make things worse. 

“Lucas. im sorry ok. is that what you wanted to hear, i'm sorry I haven't been a good enough dad. I've tried ok. Can you just smile for me please.” He said, grabbing Lucas' hands.

Lucas looked at him blankly. Staring. He couldn't smile, that was the problem. He wanted to, he wanted to smile at his dad to hug him and tell him everything would be ok, to laugh one last time. But he couldn't, that thing haunting him held him back. All he could do was look ahead dully. 

“Lucas.” His dad said again with tears in his eyes.

“It's ok. It'll be fine.” Lucas said, pulling back his hands. 

His dad looked pained. But at the ringing of the doorbell he got up and left. 

Lucas sat looking at his hands. He looked at the faded scar of where he had bitten into his hand tearing the skin. His dad would never know why he had done that so many times. He would never know why Lucas broke his back. He would never know the things Lucas had seen. He wondered what his dad thought of him? Just some schizophrenic kid? Some crazy guy who couldn't even smile? 

Trudging back into the room his dad set a box of pizza in front of him. Leaving, he returned to the table with two plates. 

“Im not hungry.” Lucas muttered as his dad set a plate in front of him.

“Lucas, please eat.” His dad said putting the plate down.

Lucas looked up at him, he didn't know what to think again. He wished he could read his mind. What was he thinking? What was going on in his head? 

“Lucas, do you really want to know what I've got on Fran, Pennys mom.” he said looking tired.

Lucas stiffened looking up.

“Yeh.” Lucas muttered nodding.

“Well, may as well tell you but this dont leave this house.”

Lucas nodded, leaning forwards.

“Well you know how she's a therapist. Well, this happened years ago. I mean before any of you kids were born. But she was still in school. I didn't know her too well. But one day she showed up at my house. Pretty freaked out. The thing is she had a patient kind of being too pushy and somehow she had pushed him off a roof.” 

Lucas felt his jaw drop. He stared at his dad in shock.

“Well the thing is it was self defense and she was going to say that to the police but before we knew it, people were saying he had been murdered by someone, and then ruled as suicide and people moved on.” His dad said, folding his hands.

“So your saying, you helped her out and really know what happened. and you're telling me that you're blackmailing her. For murder.”

“Self defense.”

“Your black mailing her, for me staying at her house.” Lucas said, regaining his composure slightly.

“Well, sort of. It's more that she is doing me a favor. She's helped us out with mony a few times. And I mean, she didn't kill the guy. But if it got out, she could lose her job, maybe her house, it might get a lot worse than it would need to be.” His dad said nodding.

Lucas wondered how to react, he would be staying at the house of someone who had killed someone. But she wouldn't kill him. Most likely. It's been over seventeen years ago.Finnaly Lucas only nodded. What else was he going to do, and at least he understood what was going on.

“So you surprised.” His dad shrugged as if he thought the whole thing was in some way amusing.

“Sure.” Lucas muttered, still trying to process. 

“Well, I mean you should eat now.” His dad said putting some pizza on his plate.

Lucas stared at it. This felt fake; it felt like something out of a comic or some tv drama. It was ridiculous. It was all crazy. He was crazy, everyone was crazy. He felt like he was going crazy.

THURSDAY

Lucas sat in the car, this would be the last time he wou;d see his dad for a long time. He wondered how long it would be. His dad pulled his car into the diary then turned it off.

As they walked over to the front door his dad suddenly stopped, and coming around in front of Lucas he said softly.

“Lucas, i love you ok.” He had tears in his eyes.

“I-I love you to.” Lucas muttered back but found his eyes darting around as he tried to keep eye contact. His dad smiled faintly and hugged him rightly. And then they went inside. Lucas said bye to his dad again, and then he was gone. Penny stood next to Lucas watching him very closely. But his face didn't show much. He only looked tense. Spring forward. 

“Y-You hungry? Penny asked, touching his shoulder gently.

“Um, no thanks.” He said, piercing his lips.

“I'm just tired, but I'll be fine. I'd take some coffee though.” He said trying to smile and only half succeeding.

Penny smiled and nodded.

FRIDAY

Lucas lay on his back. It was very early. The sun had not risen yet. THe rest of the house was quiet. It felt almost unnerving to lay in such a silence. He felt tired and yet he could not sleep. When he felt happy he found he could not smile, when he felt mad he found he could not cry, when he felt mad, all he felt was mad, and when he felt nothing he found all he could do was lay there and cry. Was he broken? What was wrong with him. It was pure agony. He would be better off dead. Dead inside and dead out, dead all over. He already felt half dead inside. His will was breaking. It was being pulled at clawed at. And it was beginning to fray. He always felt so tired, always so tired. 

Finally after a few hours he heard footsteps, it was still early. He heard a few things being messed with silently then the door opened and shut. A car starts outside and then quiet again. It must have been Penny's mom leaving for work. Lucas lay there still. He closed his eyes trying to sleep just a little more. Just a little longer he felt so tired. So tired, always so tired. But finally as more sun began to peep through his window he began to sleep again. Just lightly and in these light moments of sleep he began to dream.

He was walking, he felt little. He looked down at his hands, they were childrens hands. He was walking with two people, two perfect parents. He smiled laughing and ran towards the park. Where he played on slides and swings laughing the whole time. Nothing to worry about. And then he turned around to be sure his parents were watching. And then he felt his stomach drop, no one was there. No other kids, no other parents. He was all alone, they had all left. He began to walk around searching for them. But no one was there. It was growing dark. And still no one came. He began to cry. Hot tears streaming down his face, he felt sitting on the ground. But then out of nowhere arms caught him p. Holding him close he felt safe. Comorted, he was finally safe. But then the arms' strong hold began to relax. He clung onto them, clinging to them as a dying man clings to the faint strings of life, but then he looked up and saw Penny's face it was twisted and yanked backwards being held above Lucas, the body contoured and pail, but twisting around in the air blood dripped down from a thousand wounds. It dripped down, splattering across Lucas face. He stumbled backwards, his mouth open in a silent scream. And then the body went limp but the screams were still everywhere so loud. All around him, and then there it was the sound of the laughter, the screaming laughter. It was the only thing that was consistent, the only thing that would bever leave. He turned around slowly and there it was the monster there behind him. Lucas trampled but there was nothing he could do, all he could do was die every night, watch everyone die every night. Scream and die. And Lucas did scream falling to the floor clawing at his face. And then, it was over and he was awake. He sat up still shaking. Penny was there, she looked tired but frightened. Mark and Roxanne also stood in the room. Penny was holding his hand, her eyes wide.

“I-I.” Lucas stuttered but found he was lost for words.

He pulled Penny close hugging her tightly. He never wanted to let go. The second he let go it would be over. He would have to open his eyes. Penny hugged him back squeezing tightly. He could feel her heartbeat against his. He could smell her. Lucas felt her hair on his face. He felt a hidden knot, hidden from the outside world. The outside world is where the bad things happen. Lucas knew he had to let go, he cou;dnt cling on forever, he heated it. He hated the need to let go. He wanted to scream but instead he only unlaced his fingers letting go.

“S-sorry.” He muttered, wiping his face.

“It's ok Lucas, it's ok.” Penny said, taking his hand.

The rest of the day was rather uneventful. They hung out a little. Penny felt a twang in her heart. Living with Lucas she could see more clearly just how exhausted he was. He didn't talk much, he didn't eat much. He just kind of sat there. His smile and laugh a little bit. But it was like something was there stopping him, suffocating him. Penny could see it, Mark could see it. But only Lucas could really feel it. There was a surrounding presence. Soon the day was over Penny's mom got home, talked for a bit then went to bed. Soon everybody said good night and went to bed. Lucas lay in bed again. He felt himself begin  to tear up. The dream had followed him all day. Anytime he looked at Pennys face. It haunted him, when he smiled. All he saw was the grinning smiling monster. So he didn't smile. He didn't want to look at Penny, but he needed to. He needed to be sure she was there. He needed to be sure she was not dead. Lucas wanted to close his eyes but when he did he saw Penny's dying face, he saw the monster. He would hear his grandfather's scream. He would smell the blood. He would see Gasper's corpse. Hear the bone breaking. He could smell the death. Death swirled around. It choked and killed everything. Everything was dead. He blinked and there was the monster he blinked there was the screaming. And so he didn't  even blink, only stared. Starred up into nothing burning and making his eyes bloodshot. But he didn't see anything. He didn't see the monster. But he couldn’t look ahead forever and soon his eyelids began to grow heavy. He fought off sleep for as long as he could. He saw the sun rising.